In our modern 2017 world, one question haunts all.
“Do you vape bro?”
Today I intend to answer this for the X-Men. Please note that my answers are definitive based on my experience as both a self-proclaimed X-Pert and a 2016 Reddit /r/comicbooks “/r/comicbooks Award” nominee (of which I was robbed).
- Professor X – He only pipe smokes
- Cyclops – No
- Iceman – No
- Angel – Yes
- Beast – No, but he has a bong in his closet that he breaks out when Wonder Man comes to visit
- Jean – No
- Mimic – Yes, and he won’t shut up about his rig
- Changeling – No
- Polaris – No, but she sneaks cloves behind Havok’s back
- Havok – No, but he knows Polaris sneaks cloves behind his back
- Nightcrawler – No
- Wolverine – Obviously not
- Banshee – The Professor and him could talk about their pipes for hours and be just as annoying though
- Storm – No
- Colossus – No
- Sunfire – Yes
- Thunderbird – Yup
- Shadowcat – No
- Rogue – She is slowly coming around to it but she is afraid it will go against this Southern Belle thing she has going for her
- Rachel Summers – No
- Magneto – No
- Longshot – Yes, but he is very considerate of others
- Psylocke – Yes, but she is not very considerate of others
- Dazzler – Yes
- Jubilee – She is a mall rat, isn’t she?
- Gambit – If there is one X-Man who unequivocally vapes, it is obviously Gambit
- Bishop – There is not vaping in the future
- Cannonball – He just chews
- Dr. Cecilia Reyes – No, and you shouldn’t either
- Marrow – Her rig is scavenged from broken ones that have been thrown out
- Maggott – No
- The Skrull Imposter Wolverine – Yes he does, in retrospect it is surprising they didn’t catch on sooner
- Cable – No
- X-Man – Yes, everyone in the Age of Apocalypse vapes
- Thunderbird III – No
- Dani Moonstar – No
- Sage – Yes, those years in the Hellfire Club did not treat her well
- Emma Frost – Yes but her vape pen looks like a fancy cigarette holder
- Xorn – No
- Chamber – He doesn’t have a mouth
- Stacy X – Yes
- Slipstream – Yeah he vapes
- Lifeguard – No and she wants Davis to just stop talking about it
- Husk – Yes
- Juggernaut – The Crimson Gem of Cyttorak does not require him to partake in such dalliances
- Mystique – Yeah, she really thinks it’s cool
- Darwin – Darwin would vape
- Warpath – With his brothers rig, to honor him
- Lady Mastermind – Yes
- Omega Sentinel – No
- Sabertooth – If the runt isn’t I’m not
- Armor – No
- Hepzibah – The Starjammers don’t vape
- Pixie – She does everything that Dazzler does
- Karma – It would set a bad example for her little brother and sister
- Sunspot – Yes
- Magma – They had no such devices in Nova Roma
- Box – No, everything the vape pens say when he tries, makes him uncomfortable
- Dr. Nemesis – Fools, vaping is far beneath a mind such as his
- Magik – Definitely
- Namor – Occasionally
- Danger – No, the Shi’ar had yet to develop vape technology
- Domino – She smokes cigarettes, and thanks to her mutant ability will never develop any side-effects
- X-23 – No
- Hope – No
- Doop – He prefers the hookah
- Krakoa – No
- Warbird – No
- O5 Cyclops – Still no
- O5 Iceman – No
- O5 Angel – Yes, and he loves how advanced things have gotten
- O5 Beast – No, but he is interested in this sticky icky he has heard about
- O5 Jean – Yes
- Firestar – No
- M – She is too classy to vape
- ForgetMeNot – I can’t remember
Zachary Jenkins co-hosts the podcast Battle of the Atom and is the former editor-in-chief of ComicsXF. Shocking everyone, he has a full and vibrant life outside all this.
