Knull, the King in Black, has covered the world in symbiotes. Allison Brand is having none of that. Al Ewing, Valerio Schiti, Marte Gracia, and Ariana Maher unleash Protocal V in S.W.O.R.D. #2.
Nola Pfau: Zach! Are you ready for another issue of S.W.O.R.D.?
Zach Rabiroff: Boy, am I ever, Nola. There’s so much I’ve been waiting to get back to since last month: the cosmic mystery of the diamond retrieved from the highest level of heaven! The fascinating concept of organic mutant circuits! The tantalizing hints about Magneto’s confrontation (or reconciliation?) with his erstwhile daughter the Scarlet Witch! I am just so ready to dive back into this story at last.
NP: Oh…oh Zach. I dunno how to tell you this, but none of that is happening this issue. Not a single one of those plotlines comes up.
ZR: Wait, none? I don’t get it. What do we have here?
NP: …can I offer you a symbiote in these trying times?
Eh, Good Enough
ZR: We saw this starting to develop last issue, but one of the running gags emerging in this series is Abigail Brand’s persistent conviction that her team might not be the best and brightest that Krakoa has to offer. And while there’s a part of me that feels like she ought to just count her blessings that she didn’t end up locked in space with Hank McCoy this time around, I think it’s fair to say that the lady might have a point.
Take our introduction to the mystery telepath on the team, who turns out to be vintage Kirby/Lee creation Mentallo (a character who, to be honest, I had forgotten was belatedly established to be a mutant instead of “guy who’s just really good with brain muscles.”). He’s introduced to us in truly glorious fashion while actually in medias dump, brain helmet on, reading the latest issue of Tank!!! Magazine. Brand has pretty good cause to be moaning about the quality of her recruit in the data page that follows, but she also makes an astute point: Mentallo’s dedicated, mercenary criminality is actually a real advantage as far as this team is concerned, since it means that he cares about cash and cash alone. As long as Brand can pay up, she can be confident in his loyalty and reliability – which is more than she can say about smarter, more capable, but ultimately more mercurial agents like Frenzy or (as we’ll see) Fabian Cortez.
She might not be wrong in ultimately conceding that Flumm really is “the best telepath I could get.”
NP: Well, is it even a concession? My read of that page was a minor shift in tone as she repeated that line at the end, like that was her point—the first time she states it, it’s “I’m letting Marvin Flumm think he’s the best telepath I could get,” like she wants him to think she’d prefer someone else, but the second reading, saying that he is the best telepath she could get is more “This is the exact kind of telepath I needed, the best possible outcome for me.” It’s possibly as close as I’ve ever seen Abigail Brand come to being pleased.
That said, I too had forgotten about Mentallo, and to this day I cannot even read the word without my brain subconsciously adding a “Flex” on the front. Between that and his design, which looks very reminiscent of Fantastic Four villain The Wizard, I can see why folks forgot about him. [Ed. note: Back when we were doing Hox Pox Tox I got yelled at for claiming a background drawing of Mentallo was Super Sabre from Freedom Force because I had no recollection of Mentallo existing.]
Clever Fabian Header
ZR: That said, he’s clearly not anywhere close to being the most reviled member of this squad, since that title will now and forever be held by Frat Boy Champion of 1992 Fabian Cortez. I continue to enjoy the visceral disdain with which nearly everyone around Cortez openly regards him. He has zero respect from anyone in his orbit, and Brand’s description of him as a “treacherous sack of yuppie pus” feels like a pretty reliable Yelp review in this case. Alas, that “nearly” may or may not include Cortez’s old-school mark Magneto, on whom he visibly has designs for access to the Quiet Council, the better to push whatever “flatscan” legislation he’s been cooking up.
Certainly Frenzy seems to think Mr. Magnus has once again taken the bait, but me? I’m not quite so convinced. Joanna’s been burned by Magneto’s philosophy generally, and the Acolytes specifically, so I can’t exactly blame her for being skeptical about Mags’s capacity to know when he’s being played. But despite the fact that Magneto has been fooled by Cortez once before, and despite the fact that this series so far hasn’t shown the old man at his sharpest, I think he’s got more savvy to him than his ex-follower gives him credit for. It’s not for nothing that he’s remained a leader in mutant politics since the late ‘40s, give or take a sliding timescale or two. If Cortez is conning him, I suspect it’s because Magneto has a bigger and more interesting con to play on his own.
NP: I love that Fabian is still out here using “flatscan,” by the way. I know Marvel has tried pushing it as a bad thing, like “Mutants shouldn’t use slurs for humans!” but the line between an oppressed people using a derogatory term for their oppressors and actual real racism perpetuated by a white supremacist society in the real world is…well that’s a sketchy line to draw at best. Fabian, you’re a @#$%bag, but you get the all clear from me for this one thing at least.
I super agree with you that Magneto is absolutely not as fooled by Fabian as he lets on here. Frankly, Fabian’s plans even last time were not that clever, and while Magneto may have been caught up in being mad at Moira back around those times, I highly doubt he truly, simply forgot the one man throwing fuel on the fire.
Hey…speaking of throwing fuel on the fire…
ZR: See, now tough as I may be on all the symbiote content, Fabian’s supercharging of Sunfire is definitely good stuff, and produces some of the coolest and most striking art for this issue. Schiti draws Shiro in this sequence in a form eerily reminiscent of his Age of Apocalypse counterpart, and I wonder if that choice might not be deliberate. In the AoA, after all, Sunfire has literally burned himself out after having his powers driven beyond their limits by Apocalypse. Given that we can safely assume Cortez is lying when he says he’s altered his powers to be less addictive, can this be a hint as to the risks mutants are running when they subject themselves to his influence? [Ed. note: We hope this is an excuse to give Sunfire his AoA design, aka his only good clothes]
NP: As I recall, burnout was one of the side effects of his powers back in the 90s too, right? He boosted Magneto’s powers, which was great, but at the cost of numbing his suffering at the same time, which caused his condition to deteriorate, like he was pushing Magneto’s body past his limits. I thought of the AoA Sunfire too, specifically because of that—that version of Sunfire very literally burnt himself out, and for all that he seems euphoric here, the image contrast of his body looking literally charred beneath his own flames. It’s unsettling, but also, I’m really here for Fabian once again being an absolute disaster of a mutant.
ZR: It says something about the utter disdain in which Fabian is held by his boss that she’s not only aiming to fire him before he’s even properly started his job, but that the names she’s put together in place of him are, perhaps, not the A-list of mutant personalities. Going through the dossier, we have:
- Michael Nowlan, a product of the Bob Layton X-Factor run who died after a grand total of two appearances (he does have some experience working with Frenzy during her Alliance of Evil days, so there’s a plus for his resume, at least).
- Boost, who was created for a 1997 Uncanny X-Men Annual, of all places. When you’re a Chris Claremont/Jim Lee character at risk of being booted off your title in favor of a creation from a 1997 annual, buddy, you have made some life choices worthy of questioning.
- Absolon Mercator, whose location is listed as unknown, though keenly aware readers of X of Swords will have a pretty good idea of where to find him.
- And the intriguingly redacted final entry, who has something to do with the Snarkwar currently underway in Ewing’s Guardians of the Galaxy book, though who or what that character might be is anyone’s guess.
Any ideas who we might be looking at with that final spot, Nola?
NP: I have to say, I’m stumped! The mention of Snarkwar in that redacted passage points to some Power Pack shenanigans, but the Power Pack aren’t mutants…
ZR: No mutants in Power Pack? Au Contraire: maybe you’re forgetting about a certain famed mutant by the name of Franklin Richards? Anyway, remind me to catch up on the last few months of Fantastic Four once we’re done with this article; hope I haven’t missed anything important.
NP: Oh, Zach. Oh, buddy.
…
Let’s just…move on.
Tame the Latex Dragon
NP: You know, I’m only covering two books for CXF right now, and Donny Cates has managed to ruin both of them in the same month. In the same week, even. [Ed. note: Check out Nola’s writing about The Union] Why do I have to think about Knull? Why can’t I just enjoy Abigail Brand’s team of absolutely terrible mutants (and Wiz Kid, who is perfect)?
ZR: This was an issue tailor-made for everyone thinking, “I love all this S.W.O.R.D. business, but, like, couldn’t we stop everything for a massive line-wide crossover? Not, you know, the one that wrapped up a couple of months ago. Also, not the one that wrapped up a couple of months before that. No, I want a different line-wide crossover, preferably one that involves Donny Cates hurling goo monsters at superheroes like a 10-year-old with a bottle of Nickelodeon slime until everybody gets too exhausted to care anymore.”
Look, don’t get me wrong: I liked this issue. Schiti draws some excellent action scenes, even if, after a dozen or so Knull-themed tie-in comics, the thrill of seeing giant holes blown through death-metal dragons has somehow worn a bit thin. And Ewing does what Ewing does with crossovers, which is use them as springboards for some pretty great opportunities to advance his character dynamics. That said, we do have at least one cool new idea introduced as a direct result of this Cates Incursion: Nola, what did you think of the debut of Protocol V?
NP: I’m not sure what to think about it, honestly! Mentallo positively recoiled when Brand revealed it to him, but that doesn’t really jibe with what we see toward the end of the issue, which is Mentallo showing up to rescue the Five, presumably to keep the secrets of mutant resurrection safe from Knullification. I do like that it’s called Protocol V, like Protocol Five, because it’s just fun that the X-Office keeps going back to the Roman numerals thing over and over. I am an easy audience (so long as you are not throwing line wide crossovers at books in their second issues). Maybe it’s just that Mentallo despises the thought of being a rescuer? Either way, he certainly shows up in style.
ZR: Ah, the X-office and their Roman numerals. Day by day, we move a little bit closer to what will forever remain my most powerful and prescient tweet.
Now, I definitely have things to say about Mentallo’s bravura entrance, but I think his earlier reaction to Protocol V is due to the fact that, as a last-ditch plan, it’s both elegantly simple, and horrifyingly bleak. Of course it makes sense that The Five are, ultimately, the only truly un-expendable members of the mutant race. Save them, and everybody else is saved by extension, provided you can get the kids somewhere safe (and with access to Cerebro files). In order to survive, Krakoa just needs to pull a Kal-El, except that this time the baby in the rocket ship can regrow the entire population of Krypton along with him. And what better way to secure their safety than with something as glorious and ridiculous as the THINK TANK.
NP: I deeply love the Think Tank. It is exactly the kind of comics pun I grew up on, it’s absurdly silly and extremely cool at the same time. Things like this are always best when they’re the in-canon result of truly insufferable characters, and Mentallo certainly fits that bill.
It occurs to me that now that we’ve put that idea out there, at some point (probably after Hickman) we’re likely to get an X-Men arc where everyone except the Five are dead. The thing that’s curious to me about that though, shouldn’t they technically also be the Six? After all, they can create viable bodies, but it takes a telepath to restore a mutant’s identity—oh no. Protocol V is using the Five and Mentallo to ensure mutant survival?! No wonder he’s horrified.
ZR: Okay, well, when you put it that way, perhaps resting the entire fate of a nation and people on a dude introduced to us while sitting on the john calls for a certain amount of concern. And I guess they really should be The Six, shouldn’t they, but for the fact that the title has already been taken elsewhere in this book, leaving Mentallo not much more than a glorified brain technician and professional tank driver. But what a tank! This is Ewing trolling through Marvel continuity again, by the way: Mentallo debuted his trademark vehicle while fighting in a resistance force against the Mutant Registration Act 30 some-odd years ago (alongside Peepers!).
Please note that his opponent in the panel above is not noted X-Men villain Steve Rogers, but rather future-inevitable-Trump-supporter U.S. Agent, who had assumed the Captain America identity at the time. Which explains:
F-in’ Republicans.
So, that’s our second issue of S.W.O.R.D. We laughed, we cried, we gloried at the sight of Marvin Flumm riding an exceptionally phallic armored vehicle. What more can we ask for, really? See you next month, folks.
X-Traneous Thoughts
- Mentallo’s decision to wear goggles with a recycled Magneto helmet sure is…a choice.
- Is it just me, or is Proteus’s Scottish brogue getting more deliberately absurd every time he talks? He’s Claremont-ing with a phonetic force equal to at least three Moiras at this point.
- There are two separate latex jokes in this issue, which is two more latex jokes than I would’ve expected on page in an X-Men comic before the Krakoan era. Ewing’s gonna fit riiiiiiight in.
- Krakoan reads SIDETRIP
Nola Pfau is Editor-in-Chief of WWAC and generally a bad influence.
Zach Rabiroff edits articles at Comicsxf.com.
