CW for discussion of the Fiend and Alexa Bliss regarding abuse narratives.
Charlie Davis: Another week of Wrestling! And well…we’ve got a lot to talk about.
Forrest Hollingsworth: This so-called “Road to Wrestlemania” sure seems bumpy, huh?
Vishal Gullapalli: What’s wrestling? I wanna talk about Pokemon.
Fastlane and NJPW Cup
CD: Honestly some stuff happened here, but all I saw were 2 good matches at Fastlane and some absolutely horrific stuff with The Fiend. Catch our predictions from last week. The NJPW Cup? Never heard of her.
VG: Fastlane was maybe my least favorite pandemic-era PPV from WWE. It was largely a disappointment, with a really good No Holds Barred match slotted awkwardly into the card as well as a main event that was at least a solid match. Nothing else really worked for me, with the Randy/Alexa match going from “haha this is wild” to “ew no” on the drop of a hat. I can’t recall any sort of “New Japan Cup” though. Probably didn’t happen.
FH: I want to start with a deeper look at the Fastlane fallout we’re all skirting: it was bad. It was really bad. It was “I might skip all WWE programming until ‘Mania” bad.
My primary concern being, as you touched on Charlie, The Fiend’s resurrection, and specifically what it tells us about Alexa:
The Bray Wyatt/Fiend character have been to-date predicated on a subversion of someone in a position of power — especially with children. Alexa is, for all intents and purposes, a victim. Her childlike regression is literally the imagery of abuse. She has no agency, no authority — any wrestler male or female that has interacted with the Fiend could have served as the arbiter of his resurrection, a damning lack of character that makes her entire being seem beholden to the whims of men. To try to forward that story, with little to no nuance (It’s WWE) while simultaneously making her a “desirable” figure – to the degree that she pinned Randy Orton by sitting directly on his crotch – while in an angle with her (kayfabe) abuser is indefensible.
It’s tailored by and for the wrong people and has been since she was a damsel in distress in Braun’s clutches nearly a year ago. It’s not a love story. To make it look and sound like one, especially with any hint of sexual tension, is disingenuous at best and wrong at worst – it’s abhorrent, disgusting, misogynist pandering and it quite frankly makes me sick to stomach.
That’s all to say nothing of the rest of Fastlane’s myriad problems, too, which I can summarize with this message I shared during our live chat:
Monday
CD: Again, here we are. On a Monday. Some stuff happened at Fastlane, but I feel like we are no worse for wear as far as Wrestlemania is concerned. Or I would say that if Monday Night Raw wasn’t a constant SLOG. Lashley is enlisting the help of the 24/7 Division to take out Drew before Mania? DOESN’T HE HAVE A STABLE FOR THAT?? Why is this happening? Also Rhea has made her debut finally after all that momentum from the Rumble has cooled off and she has challenged Asuka to a match at Mania. I am excited for it, but I can also feel Charlotte inserting herself in to make it a triple threat match. Again, great match, but we do not need to see it. Just give me this one on one. Let Charlotte rest. Oh and I guess Randy and The Fiend is set as well? Please, if it’s not a Firefly Funhouse match I do not want it.
Uh some stuff also happened on BTE this week. A major plot point that has been dangling since last September got wrapped up. The person who caused an even deeper riff between Hangman and Matt Jackson via a very mean text message revoking their friendship was revealed. Matt Hardy had been pulling those strings all along to isolate Hangman…
While not exactly what I was expecting it totally makes sense and I know going back and looking at it that was the endgame.
Damn the Elite, they make me feel too much.
FH: While I have some other faves, no amount of writing can adequately express just how much I love Asuka and I’m exceptionally excited about the match with Rhea. I understand the argument that it’s not fair for Rhea to debut and demand a title match but this is following weeks of teasers for her ‘brutality’, and that alongside her previous NXT title reigns and WrestleMania appearance warrant some respect and awards some flexibility I think, if only because I would take nearly any excuse to see the match. Also, hey, Ethan Page picked up a win on Elevation, and I just think he’s neat.
VG: And of course the most important part of Monday – the UpUpDownDown Pokemon Stadium tournament! A bracket of 8 competitors face off to determine the one true Pokemon master. To start off, Ember Moon took on Liv Morgan in an absolute nailbiter that came down to the wire despite Ember’s insistence that she was going to squash Liv. My biggest takeaway, though, is that all the wrestlers here are not very good at Pokemon. Is my experience skewed because I got really into competitive Pokemon battling in college? Maybe. But they don’t even know the type matchups and it really throws me off.
Tuesday
CD: No amount of Kenny Omega can make me tune into Impact regularly. This week on Impact Kenny practically screamed about how he was better than Kota Ibushi and that wasn’t even THE WORST THING HE DID THIS WEEK. Get some help Kenneth.
FH: Brian Myers calling Matt Cardona ‘Mid-Cardona’ is inspired, though.
VG: Day 2 of the tournament: Jessamyn Duke takes on Ricochet. In an eerily similar matchup to the first match, this one goes down to the wire, with Jessamyn barely eking out Ricochet. I’m not exactly surprised by everyone’s unfamiliarity with Pokemon, but it’s funny to think that I could probably beat all of them in this tournament.
Wednesday
CD: On a weekly basis, AEW provides me with emotional whiplash. You may think that sounds bad, but it at least always keeps me on my toes. After Kenny’s boasting and toddler-like tantrum on Dark Elevation a few weeks ago, he had a match against Matt Sydal for a world title shot which was a perfect opener. It’s hard not to root for Kenny when he’s wrestling, because he’s so damn good always, but commentary has started to help lay more layers on top of the decay of his character. Excalibur implying that Kenny is fractured and the open awareness that he’s constantly talking to himself in the ring was a very nice touch. This week’s episode whipped by after this and we got some great stuff from Christian and The Dark Order. Even Lance had a great promo! The Young Bucks and eternal rivals the Lucha Bros with Larado Kid also had an incredible match! Here is a highlight!
But the highlight of my night was when Kenny decided to come down after The Bucks match and proceed to cut a scathing promo to tell them that he always chose them and they never chose him back like some sort of heartsick highschooler. Even if there is a shred of truth there…it was a horrific sight to see. In the end, Matt and Nick walked away from him as they should have. I however, am still sweeping up the pieces of my heart. The thing that has really gotten me about all of this, is that Kenny is ruthlessly targeting Matt Jackson in particular. It’s really obvious that the wounds of the Bullet Club Civil War back in 2018 never really healed, they just scabbed over. Go to hell Kenny. I am so mad at you right now. Remove the poison IV drip from your arm that is Don Callis and THEN come talk to me. The resulting superkick and package piledriver after his tirade was SO SATISFYING.
FH: The real magic in that moment for me, Charlie, was in Kenny specifically targeting Brandon Cutler. There’s a kind of unspoken reason that Brandon was thirding the Bucks this week: After the emotional tension of this week’s BTE they’re trying to repair friendships, to be Elite in the sense they originally meant, as locker room leaders and humans and not in the sense that they hold all the gold, which Kenny has become increasingly infatuated with (under the guidance of Don Callis, of course). His emotional manipulation, his elitism, is intentionally invoking a kind of disregard of others that I think serves the story well, especially as he demands the Bucks do the too sweet “for the hard cam” which would essentially result in a permanent record of them ‘playing their role’ on TV. Fitting with his remark that Eddie Kingston ‘never breaks character’ just a few weeks ago, too.
On the exact opposite end of things, what was going on with that QT Marshall and Cody Rhodes promo? QT’s insistence that he is important undermines any actual importance he actually carries, and the weird line between condescending heel and genuine friend Cody was trying to walk further complicated things. It’s like a performative nuance without actually achieving any, and it mostly makes Cody seem afraid of committing to anything unsavory amidst his roles on the Go-Paul Wight Show, and in he and Brandi’s upcoming reality show. Vishal can we get these bad corporate vibes out of the room?
CD: Wait Forrest! Gotta talk about Cranky Frankie, please don’t forget!
FH: Oh, thank you for the reminder Charlie! That was good, huh? Aside from being exceptionally handsome, I just think Captain Charisma (Christian) is good at what he does, and that really tense electricity between him and Frankie Kazarian this week was inspired, the implication of a much deeper history and tension between two legitimate vets. I wonder if I can pay for a meet and greet just to get a nickname.
VG: Day 3 of the tournament! Candice Lerae takes on Dakota Kai, winning in yet another 2-1 nailbiter. Wins don’t seem to be coming from skill, but rather from the random chance that status effects might hit, or high-damage moves might miss. The number of times I see someone trying to use Thunder against Diglett alone….
UpUpDownDown Uno also happened, and in one chaotic move from Big Swiss changed course from a quick squash by Creed into a long, grueling, ultra-sudden-death climax in which CHUGS took the victory. A lot of emotions in this game of Uno, in what will go down as one of the best episodes to date.
Oh, and apparently NXT happened. I only managed to tune in for the final segment, but Kyle O’Reilly’s promo about wanting his soul back from the Undisputed Era was incredible and I cannot wait to see this Unsanctioned match main event Night 2 of Takeover. We’re gonna be in for a treat.
CD: Vishal is right, it’s going to be a treat. They cut some amazing promos on each other that harkened back to their ROH feud. Also Kyle threw a pen that THAT’S what sent Adam over the edge. Incredible.
FH: Adam’s “Atta boy, sign your death warrant” was the exact kind of heelish condescension I’d like to see from Cody, incidentally.
Thursday
VG: Battle of the Brands is continuing to create wrestlers, as it appears this will be the show every week until the entire roster is filled. I’m really looking forward to seeing the promos we get from some of the CAW talent!
One the Pokemon side, the first round of the tournament ended in Lince Dorado taking on my personal favorite Johnny Gargano! Lince bragged about being a Toys R Us Pokemon Tournament champion as a kid, but none of that seems to have translated to Pokemon Stadium, as Johnny becomes the first semifinalist to not lose a match in his best of 3. Johnny also revealed he has a Mew tattoo somewhere he isn’t allowed to show the camera on Youtube. Much to think about.
FH: Per their announcement earlier this week, Impact will soon be here! That all but confirms NXT’s heavily rumored move to Tuesdays, and still, unfortunately, doesn’t make it any likelier that I will watch Impact regularly.
Friday
CD: The Universal Title Match at Wrestlemania is officially a three way! But not that kinda three way! Though could we also call three way’s triple threats? Hm. Much to think about. ANYWAY. I am so relieved. It seemed like it was heading that way, but I never underestimate WWE’s ability to just screw stuff up. One might say that they already screwed Edge up because he had to turn heel, but I am ENJOYING IT. Edge is the kind of heel I like. Unhinged and right in his own way. Even if we are kinda rehashing the circumstances of WM 30, I am still having a good time. Smackdown was fun this week, but it also seemed like it was the show that was just about making sure all the rest of the Wrestlemania matches got announced. That said, I am so excited for Sami v. Kevin and Seth v. Cesaro even if I kinda hate Seth’s new weird gimmick that cannot figure itself out to save its life. Also. Evil Edge. Hot.
FH: Even with the unnecessary missteps this past weekend, SmackDown seems to have a much clearer picture of where to go after Fastlane and you might convince me that it’s the best any WWE programming has been in, well, years. I have to say I in particular love the deliberate callbacks to WM 30. That was, in many ways, Daniel Bryan’s moment and if he truly is retiring this year, I think it’s entirely fair to emulate that. Roman, Bryan, and Edge have all in their time retired from wrestling for devastating reasons and to see them all come back from that? To love the sport and the fans and the performance of it all enough to put themselves through not only the in-ring damage but everything it takes to get there? I can’t help but feel almost humbled by their dedication.
Having a card with Cesaro and Seth and KO and Sami — even with the unnecessary Logan Paul inclusion, further enforcing points I’m making in an essay about WWE intentionally hurting Sami on TV for being an outspoken hero outside of the ring — certainly doesn’t hurt my excitement, either.
Also! Ring of Honor held an anniversary promo where Danhausen hit a nasty Go to Sleep which was subsequently blessed by CM Punk and Kenta and I just love to see it.
VG: The Pokemon Tournament semifinals took place, as Candice Lerae took on Jessamyn Duke and Ember Moon faced off against Johnny Gargano. Candice scraped by Duke in an absolute nail biter, but we were denied from seeing the one married couple of the tournament face off, as Johnny got swept by Ember. I’m a little disappointed, but I’ll never complain about Ember Moon and Candice Lerae, they’re both wonderful.
Saturday
VG: And of course, the finals of the tournament took place today. Candice Lerae (with Johnny Gargano in her corner) took on Ember Moon to determine the true Pokemon Champion. Even better, Candice cosplayed as Jessie of Team Rocket while Ember cosplayed as Misty! It was a time of great trash talking and not great Pokemon skills, and Candice was able to avenge her husband in a clean sweep against Ember Moon. The whole tournament was a blast to watch, but these finals were definitely the best installment.
Vishal’s Stats Corner
VG: Coming out of Fastlane, we are finally closing in on Wrestlemania. Let’s talk about Fastlane as a concept, though – it’s a relatively new PPV, and one that has pretty much only existed to be the requisite monthly PPV before Wrestlemania, aside from the weird times of Roadblock in 2016.
But due to Fastlane’s status as essentially the Wrestlemania pre-preshow, I feel like it’s often just used to draw out feuds and do some preparation for the spectacle of Wrestlemania. WWE knows most people won’t watch Fastlane, and they know the ones who do will almost certainly watch Wrestlemania. So they try not to rock the boat too hard. This was all a gut feeling, though, so I decided to crunch some numbers.
While looking at every match at every Fastlane, the main questions I asked were:
- Was it a title match?
- If so, did the title change hands?
- Did the feud or storyline persist until Wrestlemania?
My definition for the last question ended up being specific – I looked at the competitors in the matches and determined that if any two competitors in the match ended up in a match together at Wrestlemania (with the exception of the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal), it counted. Otherwise, it did not. The only exception to this was Kofi Kingston’s match against The Bar and Daniel Bryan’s title defense in 2019 – these were clearly part of a larger story that persisted into Wrestlemania, even though Kofi and Bryan were not in a match together at Fastlane.
But now, onto the numbers! Excluding this year’s Fastlane because the card for Mania has not been 100% finalized:
Some notable data points here:
There have only been 3 title changes in Fastlane history – Cesaro and Tyson Kidd winning the Tag Titles from the Usos in 2015, Goldberg winning the Universal Championship from Kevin Owens in 2017, and Randy Orton winning the United States Championship from Bobby Roode in 2018.
Exactly 50% of Fastlane matches have been title matches – of those, 14% have been title changes.
45.2% of Fastlane matches have had a continuation into Wrestlemania. Of those, 68.4% have been title matches.
What I think all of these numbers show, though, is that nothing of significant importance happens at Fastlane, and even less of importance happens during title matches at Fastlane. If we just didn’t have Fastlane between Elimination Chamber and Wrestlemania, I think we wouldn’t notice.
CD: So…a weird thing happened when we sent our friend Justin out to do some on ground correspondence. Uh. Just look at the email I guess.
Into The Nitro-Verse #1
(April 22, 1996 – The Great American Bash ‘96)
So an incredibly weird thing happened to me on the way to an AEW taping.
Prior to the world ending, I was planning to attend the new TNT staple! I had my tickets. I had booked my travel. And then I was swallowed by a spatio-temporal anomaly that spat me out in Atlanta, 1995. At least that’s what I think it was. It looked like an incredibly clean free-standing whirlpool hot tub in the middle of a field, but I’m not an expert.
But it’s not all temporal displacement and crippling loneliness! Soon after my crossing time’s rubicon, I was met by an incredibly kind luchador who looks suspiciously like AAA cult-fave Aerostar. He set me up in an Atlanta Motel 6 with unlimited room service and a souped up BeBox desktop that runs Windows ‘95 like a smooth Canadian armdrag (which is how I’ve been contacting my CFX cohorts back in the prime timeline. Hi y’all! I’ll try not to fuck anything up back here!).
But BEST OF ALL Not-Aerostar has been sending me tickets to stuff. Mainly the tapings of WCW Monday Nitro and the subsequent pay-per-view shows (but those tickets tend to be a bit…let’s say, bloodier?). SO WHY NOT turn my temporal exile into content, I said! And that’s precisely what this is here. That and an attempt to try and keep my brain from seizing from the stress time travel takes on organic systems.
So after coasting through the grunge malaise that was 1995, Nitro really started to FINALLY cook in a way that relates back to the present day. You’ll probably know why if you are a dork with no friends stuck in the past like me! That’s right, 1996 starts to bring the real opening salvos of the infamous Monday Night War! A war between two out of touch (even THEN) billionaires fought over the bones of the Territory Era and across millions of televisions across America. GEE, sure is weird that we grew outta THAT, HUH, he typed sarcastically and probably three fingers too deep into a bottle of Southern Comfort.
By this time, Raw is still relatively young(er) but hasn’t broken fully out of the cartoonishness that marred the last years of the Hogan Dynasty into the “New Generation” of stars like Bret “Screwed Bret” Hart and Tatonka. BUT LO AND BEHOLD, Here comes Nitro! Literally launching out of a fucking shopping mall and opening with Jushin “Fucking Thunder” Liger and Brian “Respect the Bookerman” Pillman and it’s all hell breaking loose. But ENTERTAINING Hell…At least for the most part.
After a super interesting launch, we start to see that narratively WCW isn’t really up to snuff either. Despite constantly crowing about Being Where The Big Boys Play, none of the stories really start to cook ever. We have, like, “monsters” trying to destroy Hulk “Totally Legitimate Owner of Gawker and Not At All A Disgusting Bigot” Hogan and a bunch of incredible midcard talent (Eddie! Dean Malkenko! Literal Owner of My Heart, William Regal!) just spinning their wheels.
But then comes 1996. And stuff starts to get…weirder. And far more compelling as a time-tossed audience member who has read far too many fucking plays and thought way too much about the historically cycling nature of wrestling storylines. All of the sudden, while Racist-Mania is off filming a terrible television show that barely registers as an answer at bar trivia, the stuff in ring REALLY starts to cook. More and more international talent, like star of El Rey Network’s Lucha Underground Konnan, The Great Muta, and Aja Kong start to get showcase matches at PPVs. More and more midcard talents are starting to break out, fostered and even tempered weirdly by time in your big brother’s favorite promotion, Extreme Championship Wrestling (also starting to gain its sea legs, enriched by the spilled blood of the mostly now dead Territories).
Now does all of it work? Certainly not. I would be lying if I said I have found narrative value from hearing about Ric Flair cucking Mongo McMichaels week after bloody week or hearing The Man They Will Still Call Sting make not-so-thinly-veiled jabs at William Regal being “a fancy boy” who was “popular in the boy’s schools”. But I would ALSO be lying if I said I didn’t still feel goddamn electric when The Outsiders made their debut and how the room soured in the wake of Mongo’s betrayal of his far-too-intense FootBall Friend Who’s Name I Don’t Recall Right Now to become a member of the Nu 4 Horsemen. That feeling of everything, or at least SOMETHING, changing. Of something finally fucking NEW happening on weekly television and at the bigger shows. Something I genuinely didn’t know what to do with, starring performers who would become some of the most close to my heart. My Diamond Dallas Pages. My Chris Jerichos. My Tiger Masks.
What does this have to do with AEW? I am not sure yet. Is this about how, like AEW, WCW tried to bring a level of “newness” to pro wrestling? Is this about how, also like AEW, WCW fostered whole divisions of undercard talents, all of whom where forged overseas and went on to revolutionize (and partially legitimized) American pro wrestling simply by acknowledging how the world did it better and attempting to meet it? Or is it about how, like AEW (could potentially), WCW somewhat toppled in on itself, pushing and focusing on “established” (read: old) talent instead of relying on its fabled midcard and women’s talents and pushing them to the heights we knew they could shoulder?
I truly madly deeply DO. Not. Know.
But I am ever so excited to find out.
From 1996,
-J.P.