In our timeline, Robert Secundus and Christopher Eddlemen annotated every issue of House of X and Powers of X, two series that were one, the Summer of 2019. But imagine another timeline— a timeline where the 90s X-Men cartoon never ended and continued to adapt not the storylines of the Marvel comics, but the notes drafted describing upcoming comics yet to be completed. And consider a third timeline, one where that story was the comics. In this timeline 1992 never ended; it is a world where every year is another 1992. In the 30th iteration of 1992, three men sit down for the first time to annotate together a Marvel comic.
Can you see the timeline? Are you struggling? Picture Jay Leno in his first season of The Tonight Show. Imagine a monologue about Batman Returns and Kenny G. Recall the smell of a personal pan Pizza Hut pizza wafting across a Mortal Kombat arcade unit. What’s that in your hand? Why, it’s a compact disk, holding the soundtrack for Disney’s Aladdin! It’s a little weird, but not completely weird that you bought this instead of the cassette. Picture a cube with two big dials and a couple of knobs on the side, and a big antenna on top. Turn the one knob, and it crackles to life, with static the color of a drizzly sky flickering across the screen. Adjust the dials; don’t linger on the images of Ruby Ridge, Bill Clinton’s Primary Speech, Sinnead O’Connor ripping up a picture of the pope. You’re moving past those; you want something comfortable. Maybe you’ll put on the Sci-Fi channel. Maybe Cartoon Network. Would you look at that? That Godzookie is up to his usual shenanigans. And Moby Dick and the Mighty Mightor is on next, with Space Ghost following close behind. He’s not hosting a talk show. He’s punching supervillains in space. Settle in. Enjoy it. Are you there? Are you in 1992? Now put yourself there 30 more times. Put yourself in the Eternal 1992. And open your eyes.
X-Men ’92: House Of XCII #1 by Steve Foxe, Salva Espin, Israel Silva and Joe Sabino
[Ed. note: I’m back too, but oddly enough, I’m just the normal, not temporally displaced editor]
Robert Secundus 1992: Wow Chris ‘92, I’m so excited for this story! Honestly, I don’t know if the X-Men story has felt as vibrant, as fresh, as new, since the appearance of Cassandra Nova, which was an entire 20 1992s ago [Ed. note: Director Cassandra Nova, the Shadow King possessed clone of Charles Xavier, actually first appeared in X-Men ‘92 Infinite Comic: Warzones! (Secret Wars) #2]! Or at least since Supernovas ‘92, which is still a bit back [Ed. note: I wish I lived in this reality]. Here in 1992-30, I’m really happy to see the X-Men move to something new.
Chris Eddleman 1992: It’s a pretty radical time to love the X-Men, Rob ‘92. I’m glad I get to talk about this fresh new comic, coming up right on the start of the Clinton Presidency. I got 2nd place in a pog tournament this weekend and spent all my hard-earned quarters at the arcade, so I’m pretty stoked to chat about our favorite mutants. Let’s hit it, 92’ style.
Page 1
Chris ‘92: Hey, remember back in X-Men Volume 0’s seminal “Night of the Sentinels” [Ed. note: He’s talking about the pilot of the 1992 X-Men: The Animated Series which is similar to, but legally distinct from, this comic] when big robots attacked our mutant team? Well, they’re back, but this time they’re in space! I sure do hate these bummers of a bad guy, Rob, especially after they tried to assassinate Senator Kelly back in Volume 1 [Ed. note: In the X-Men: TAS adaptation of “Days Of Future Past”, unless he is talking about Baron Robert Kelly from the Secret Wars version of the first volume of X-Men ‘92]. Plus holy heck, these incredible armors! Can’t wait for the Toy Biz figures.
Page 2
Chris ‘92: Oh wow, Master Mold. This robot’s first appearance was in Volume 0’s “Slave Island.” You know, Rob, it’s been a bit since Volume 3’s “Operation: A Little Tolerance” [Ed. note: Chris???] but I’m glad to see it’s back! I love a robot who makes other robots. It’s too cool for school.
Rob ‘92: The “Hemingway” in question is one Ernest Hemingway, and the quote hails from his novel For Whom the Bell Tolls. Before it was a Metallica song, it was a novel about a dude in the Spanish Civil War, and his major bummer of a time there! [Ed. note: Wolverine and Puck once teamed up with old Ernest in the now classic Wolverine #35. Hemingway is also the name of one of the members of Gene Nation, but seemingly not who Beast is talking about here] Like Beast here, the protagonist of that book bit it fighting fascists.
Chris ‘92: Love that Beast. He would never do a genocide.
Rob ‘92: Honestly, he’s one of my favorite characters, because no matter how bad things get, he just remains a fun guy! A guy who’s gonna quote something that makes him sound smart, do a handstand, bring a little joy to everyone.
Page 3
Chris ‘92: Wow, Bolivar Trask? Haven’t seen him since “Courage”! Guess old habits die hard when you’ve got bad robots to make.
Rob ‘92: For new readers, Bolivar Trask is the man who first manufactured the Sentinels, first appearing all the way back in X-Men volume 0 #102, “The Night of the Sentinels: Part 2!”
Page 4
Chris ‘92: The full deck Gambit here is referring to is the standard 52 cards, with 4 suits. You think he uses Jokers, my radical buddy Rob?
Rob ‘92: I think he avoids them— they only show up at The Distinguished Competition! [Ed. note: Batman: The Animated Series ran concurrent to X-Men:TAS on the rival Saturday morning block of KidsWB]
Page 6
Chris ‘92: Rob, I really searched for Orch but I couldn’t figure it out. I wondered if it was supposed to be a wacko spelling of Orc, but the X-Men don’t do fantasy that much. Maybe they can’t spell Arch?
Rob ‘92: I put a lot of time into investigating this, and while I’ve got no certain conclusions, I have some ideas. “Orch” is a common abbreviation of “orchestra,” and so these protocols may enact a symphony of violence! It derives from the Greek ὀρχέομαι, which means “to dance!” Not sure what that might imply— the dance— of death?
But I looked up “orch” in the OED— a physical OED I had to look through, by hand— and guess what I found? Sometimes it WAS a wacko spelling of orc! But not “orc” like the evil goblins from the Lord of the Rings books and cartoons, “orc” like the Latin “orca,” which does not mean “killer whale”* but instead means “cup!” What’s really cool about this word is it’s a Latin borrowing that goes back to Old English, not the Norman Invasion! I’m not Old Englishman, but I think that’s pretty rare. It shows up in Beowulf.
So it means cup— except another etymological dictionary says that actually sometimes “orca” in Latin was used to mean “whale”– and sometimes to mean sea monster? And that became orque in French, which became orcþyrs in old English, which might also be related to the Latin orcus for HELL? I’m not sure which of these references is most likely, or what they could possibly mean in this context, but maybe we’ll find out in further issues, as we see more of this organization.
Page 7
Rob ‘92: a “Chessboard” is the black and white checkered board on which one plays the ancient game of chess. It’s known to be a game of immense strategy, and recently has become very popular in pop culture again! For more, you might want to go rent a tape of The Chess Players, The Seventh Seal, or get a ticket to the upcoming Search for Bobby Fischer!
Chris ‘92: Stay in school kids!
Page 8
Chris ‘92: Oh wow, Magneto is no longer merely an antihero/villain but has ultimately joined the X-Men?! That’s pretty cool! I was kind of surprised to see him after “Planet X”, in which he had too much root beer and said some harsh words like “Crap.” Dark days, those. [Ed. note: “Planet X” is the name of a famous arc where Magneto does some bad guy things while on drugs but it later turned out to be a dude pretending to be Magneto pretending to be himself.]
Page 9
Chris ‘92: Oh huh, what the heck is Krakoa? Hmm, who knows.
Rob ‘92: Maybe we’ll find out later in the issue!
Chris ‘92: Anyway, here’s Vindicator from Alpha Flight. Haven’t seen them since X-Men Vol 0 #303. Asteroid M mentioned here is Magneto’s old asteroid base. He did some naughty stuff there back in X-Men Vol 3, didn’t he?
Rob ‘92: That’s right. Sometime between the end of Vol 0 and the beginning of Vol 1, Magneto died in the Westchester Wars, though later, at the end of Vol 1, Cassandra Nova discovered someone who looked quite like Magneto alive, working as a barista and taking the name “Joseph.” In Vol 2, Joseph reappeared to help combat the threat of Xodus, the exiled celestial, with the Planet X army assembled by the Darkhold. [Ed. note: X-Men ‘92 Vol 2 #10] The story behind Magneto’s reappearance in Vol 3, the resurrection of Charles Xavier, the return of vampires and homo sapiens to Earth is too complicated and lengthy to get into here, but if you want to learn more, ask your friendly local comic book store for any back issues featuring Xorn. That’ll cover things nicely.
Chris ‘92: Hey, the folks here being led by fan favorite Psylocke- Betsy Braddock!
Rob ‘92: Betsy Braddock is a telepath who can channel the focused totality of her psychic powers into a psychic knife! Readers may remember her brief debut in X-Men Vol 0 #205 “Repo Man” and her proper debut in #409, “The Promise of Apocalypse: Part 2: Beyond Good and Evil,” where she was caught up in the schemes of Apocalypse. In Vol 1 she joined X-Force, and in Vol 2 began teaching at Xavier’s reopened School for Gifted Youngsters. Her travels in Vol 3 would be far too much to summarize here— let’s just say she’s had a wild continuity ride!
Chris ‘92: Did we ever find out about her brother who apparently helps mutants?
Rob ‘92: I don’t think we have yet; perhaps he’ll be appearing later this volume?
Chris ‘92: Speaking of NOT helping mutants, The Friends of Humanity were created by Sabretooth’s human son Grayden, but we haven’t seen them since X-Men Volume 0 #423!
Page 10
Chris ‘92: X-Force here is a bit different since we saw in X-Men Vol 2 #10! We’ve got Cable, Pyro, Darkstar, and Cannonball! Cannonball was first seen way back in Vol 0 #504. Darkstar was once a Russian superhero, and we saw her way back in Vol 0 #204. And Pyro, well he’s an old favorite. I’m sure you all recognize this guy from Mystique’s gang, the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants.
Page 11
Chris ‘92: And speaking of, they’re referenced here! Their original incarnation back in Vol 0 was Mystique, Pyro, Blob, and Avalanche (and remember they were funded by Apocalypse!)
Page 12-13
Chris ‘92: Whoa, cloning?! That’s some real futuristic technology, Rob. Cloning isn’t something we’ve managed to get right yet in complex organisms. Not to mention, it might be a baaaaaaaa-d idea. Who knows what’s yet to come though? I think it’s cool that the X-Men have these resurrection protocols…maybe they can bring back Morph, who as we all know, died again in X-Men Volume 3: Morph Really Dies This Time. [Ed. note: Are we legally aloud to mention Morph?]
Rob ‘92: I think most people these days are most familiar with cloning from references to The Clone Wars in Star Wars: A New Hope. So far we’ve only had tantalizing hints of these wars; Obi-Wan notes that Anakin Skywalker fought beside him in those wars, and we set a clone Jedi in the soon-to-be-completed Thrawn Trilogy. Rumor is that a clone Luke might even appear in the final volume! Anyway, the point is, cloning is cool, and I bet if we ever got to see those clone wars on the big screen they’d blow our minds. Chris, I know we haven’t done it yet, but what’s the theoretical science behind this cloning? How would it work if we really did try to clone, well, let’s go simpler than human and say a bunny, or a sheep?
Chris ‘92: Well, they’d have to find a way to get DNA from one organism into the egg cell of another, and then implant it in a host mother! I don’t know if we’ll ever get there!
Page 14-15
Chris ‘92: Lot of mutants here! Luckily, you got your dude-with-tudes Rob and Chris here to help you out. We obviously have Beast, Rogue, Gambit, Storm, Magneto, Jean Grey, Cyclops, and Professor X wearing a weird helmet. But then below that, we got Nightcrawler, Iceman, Mystique, and uhhh, somebody? I dunno, but she was back in Vol 1, Issue 2 in the background [Ed. note: It’s Destiny]. Oh and we have Sabretooth of course. Who invited him? Then we got some lesser known ones- Boom-Boom, Colossus, and that loser Deadpool. Bet he’ll never catch on. [Ed. note: Cannot emphasize enough that he was already very popular]
Rob ‘92: I’m not so sure He’s only occasionally shown up previously— as a vision from Wolverine’s past in Volume 0 and a quippy member of X-Force in Vol 1. His powers seemed to include knowing he was in a comic; maybe there’s an audience for postmodern superhero metahumor comics? Haha, kidding, kidding.
Page 16-17
Chris ‘92: Look at this totally tubular bit of the comic, Rob? It’s some kind of X-File!
Rob ‘92: Do you mean the Xavier Files, which Cassandra Nova used to defeat the X-Men in X-Men Vol 1? Or— wait, have you gotten an early copy of that show out next year? It looks pretty rad.
Chris ‘92: It reminds us who the five are, and check out those rad modern designs. And they keep talking about Krakoa. I don’t remember him at all.
Rob ‘92: This page suggests that Krakoa’s a longtime foe of the X-Men— perhaps he fought them before the events of Volume 0? We have seen at various points flashbacks that show a team before Wolverine, Storm, and a few others joined.
Chris ‘92: They got rules now? That’s losersville. Oh well.
Rob ‘92: This is a bit dweeby of me to say, but rules can be good! When I asked my mom about the third one, though, she lectured me about how “mutants” as a concept are devilish because they imply “evolution” would be true, so, uh, I ended that conversation as quickly as I could. Maybe we’ll get to see some mutant making action in a future issue!
Page 18
Chris ‘92: Whoa?! They’re flashing back to Jubilee’s death? We haven’t seen her mug since she died back in All-New, All-Rad X-Men. What a reveal!
Page 19
Rob ‘92: Oh. Wait. Chris— “Orch” stands for “ORCHIS.” Oh wow. I just got that. Wow. We really spent all those hours researching “orch,” physically reading books we looked up by going through card catalogs, which were in a physical library, that we had to walk into, in person. And then it turns out we just misread a guy not finishing a word. [Ed. note: Next time Rob, just keep galm and carry on]
Page 20
Chris ‘92: What a reveal that it’s Jubilee! That mall baby definitely eats chili fries!
Rob ‘92: It seems like Jubilee is immortal, or at least that she has multiple lives that reset when she dies— like a video game! Appropriate for a mall baby always at the arcade! This is one of my favorite kinds of comics retcons, the retcon that lets you re-evaluate everything that came before and invest it with greater depth. Remember how shocked Jubilee was at the end of Vol 1, when she thought she might have died? Now we know she was worried about resetting the timeline! And remember her experience with Vampirism in Vol 2 #1-4? She’s had strange brushes with undead immortality before! Maybe her brush with vampirism gave her these powers, or this was some kind of effect of the Montressi Program that wiped out all vampirism? Or, if this extends back to that earlier volume, perhaps the council of cross-time Draculas did something to the timeline? We’re going to need to wait to find out!
Page 21
Rob ‘92: Woah! That’s Nimrod, first seen in X-Men Vol 0 #111 “Days of Future Past: Part 1!” He’s a super-sentinel that traveled back in time to keep Bishop from preventing his bleak future from coming to pass! He was last seen in Vol 0 #403 “One Man’s Worth: Part 2,” as part of the “Age of Apocalypse” timeline which Bishop, Shard, Wolverine, and Storm prevented from coming to pass.
Chris ‘92: Named after the famous Biblical Hunter! [Ed. note: The Looney Tunes short “A Wild Hare” came out 52 years before 1992, the damage, my friends, has already been done]
Page 22
Rob ‘92: It looks like on the last page we see the bad guys behind Orchis— that’s Henry Peter Gyrich of the Mutant Control Agency, Wolverine’s ex turned nemesis Lady Deathstrike, the Hellfire Club’s Sebastian Shaw, and, with a visual nod to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ antagonist Krang, a now digitized Bolivar Trask. Four is a striking number— are these horsemen, perhaps?
Chris ‘92: Apocalypse has spooked me since I was a kid back in ‘92-0. Let’s see the survival of the fittest.
Wrap-up
Rob ‘92: Well Chris, I thought this comic was radical!
Chris ‘92: I think it was gnarly!
Rob ‘92: Bodacious!
Chris ‘92: Tubular!
Rob ‘92: Luminescent!
Chris ‘92: Arthropoda!
[Ed. note: …arthropada?]
Chris Eddleman is a biologist and co-host of Chrises On Infinite Earths.
Robert Secundus is an amateur-angelologist-for-hire.
