Let’s Get Funky with AHOY’s Wrong Earth: Purple (Oh, and Some AfterShock Stuff, Too)

If you’re wondering what Prince would be like as a comic book villain, then your long search for answers is now over. The Wrong Earth: Purple is written by Stuart Moore, drawn by Fred Harper, lettered by Rob Steen and published by AHOY Comics.

Santa’s missing his list, so it’s time to go to the reindeer track. Of course. Naughty List #2 is written by Nick Santora, drawn by Lee Ferguson, colored by Juancho!, lettered by Simon Bowland and published by AfterShock Comics.

If you’re going into the belly of an elder god for some treasure, you’re going to need The Plan. And it helps if it’s a super technical diagram, too. Kaiju Score: Steal From the Gods #2 is written by James Patrick, drawn by Rem Broo, colored by Francesco Segala, lettered by Dave Sharpe and published by AfterShock.

Will Nevin: Ian, your dad is a saint for expressing concerns that readers of this here column may not be able to decipher it without being able to go back and read the back catalog. He’s right! We can’t expect new readers to know everything about such legendary bits as “I Am Old, and You Are Young” and “Chip Zdarsky Hates Me, Personally.” We need upper management to figure out a solution to this problem ASAP because, as I said to you in the office, we do this for 1) the sweet, sweet review copies we occasionally get and 2) the bits.

Ian Gregory: I think my dad’s concerns were more with how, last week, your attempts at a “British spelling in Newburn” joke read like someone had clubbed you over the back of the head. Don’t worry, folks: No British-isms this week.

Will: My humour is an acquired taste, apparently.

The Wrong Earth: Purple: Time for Some Funky Capitalism

Will: We return to the world of The Wrong Earth and its fake/parody event after covering the riff on Archie and skipping Mark Russell’s Fame and Fortune, which I’m sure has something to say about how everything is currently fucked. Purple, while I thought it was going to spoof the world of Batman ’89, seems broader — or at least I was able to pick up on the Robocop reference in the first couple of pages. What do you think the team was going for in this one?

Ian: This is definitely a less focused parody than the Archie comics one we covered a while ago, but I don’t think that makes this a weaker book. There’s a little bit of everything here — some cosmic architecture, funk music, hypercapitalism. It all fits together in a surprisingly cohesive whole, even though I’m not sure how I’d “elevator pitch” this story. I think, really, this is about the 1980s, and about the ways that music, especially music by people of color, fought back against the major economic trends of the period like redevelopment and the tax-sheltering in real estate. Keep in mind, of course, that I wasn’t alive in the ’80s.

Dragon-Fly’s alter ego, Richard Fame, in this isn’t a “billionaire philanthropist” but just a billionaire, one sucked in by the mood of the era, and who needs to be dragged back out. The main plot is about the redevelopment of the city, but there’s also throwaway lines about dumping “worthless mortgage bonds on some hicks in Alabama.” However, this series isn’t just about “old is better,” and multiple characters address that the distinctive architecture of the city is the product of slaves, and that the current city is built on that history.

Will: Visually, this sure was a treat, wasn’t it? Fred Harper and his caricature-esque style are a different vibe from most books, and the coloring — especially during the drug-trip sequence — was great. Aesthetically, did you pick up any references we maybe should have gleaned?

Ian: I like that the “angel and devil” on the Dragon-Fly’s shoulder are the modern and Silver Age versions from the main series. This is a gorgeous issue, and I especially want to credit Harper’s colors. Obviously the whole issue has a massive purple theme, but the swing from the washed out, art-deco colors of the city to the overpowering colors of the drug trip is really strong. So far, these Wrong Earth crossovers have done an excellent job of matching their visuals to the subject period.

Will: Finally, what did you think of The Player, a character who can nail almost any musical instrument (Where does he put them? How does he carry them? The magic of comics!) and use them as effective weapons. He’s clearly modeled after Prince, who, as coincidence would have it, would have celebrated his birthday Tuesday.

Ian: The Player is maybe too much like Prince, but I do like his character. I like that he’s working on a lyric for the entire issue, unable to figure out how it ends — until it’s too late. It’s very “All Along the Watchtower,” which is really Dylan and later Hendrix, than Prince, but still cool.

The Naughty List #2: A Round of Coal For Everyone

Will: Ian, my friend — I want to like this book. I want to sit down and vibe with “Actual Bad Santa with Extra Murdering,” but this thing seems to stumble on its face too much to be consistently enjoyable. In the second issue, the plot, while simple and fun enough, is muddy. Where the hell are they? Alaska? The North Pole? Do people know this guy is Santa, or do they all think he’s a weirdo? And the art feels lamentably underdone — comparing this visually to our other AfterShock book of the week is a no-contest knockout.

Ian: I know! Why is Santa’s Workshop just, like, within driving distance of a horse track? Everyone knows Santa, but also don’t know that he’s Santa, even though he’s literally immortal and has been living there since before anyone else moved in. I’m just thoroughly underwhelmed by everything happening in this book. It’s got an OK premise, but it isn’t going anywhere fast.

Will: The art sequence that bugged me the most — aside from Santa slipping on the most weirdly colored black ice I’ve ever seen and then not having anything resembling a facial reaction to that — was when Santa and his head elf are returning to the workshop to find a bunch of the elves wasted on meth. It’s a wide shot, but one where we’re supposed to recognize along with the big man that something is wrong. Narratively, it’s confusing, and it seems like an excuse not to put any detail work into the book. Blech.

Ian: Yeah, that scene is so strange because everything is pulled back. We’re supposed to see that all the elves are strung out on meth (Ha ha! Funny stuff, right?), but because we’re seeing everything from so far away you have to hunt the page to find out what they’re talking about. Just a lot of strange little decisions in this book that keep it from being engaging even on a basic thriller level, never mind the Christmas stuff.

Will: This book should be better, right? Can it be better? Are we going to make the same complaints when issue #3 hits?

Ian: I’ve never been sold on this premise, so I’m honestly not sure how much better it can be. We’ve already pointed out some of the craft issues, but unlike with stories like Bylines in Blood where I can feel a seed of interest, there’s simply nothing going on here I’m looking forward to.

Will: Aye, the rest of this series might wind up with King of Spies in the pile of “Things Will Thought Would Be Fun to Cover but Instead Turned out to Be Hot Ass Garbage.”

Kaiju Score: Steal from the Gods #2: A Prettier Heist You’ll Never See

Will: We still haven’t gotten to any monsters in this book, but we got to The Plan, which, if I’m being serious, is all I really want from a heist book. The characters, their relationships, what I’m supposed to remember from the first volume — that’s all still a little fuzzy. But give me The Plan and I’m ready to go.

Ian: I was sold on this book the instant we got an isometric layout of the Russian base. It’s like they knew exactly how to warm my cold little heart. It’s a great plan, and I like that our protagonist from Volume 1 shows up for at least a little, even if he’s not a main character. Michelle, our actual protagonist, is straining under the weight of this job, and her desire to protect her crew and make it out alive. I’m actually pretty compelled by her characterization here, and I like that Carlito represents an outside “timer” on this job — even if I suspect he was hired by the old dudes who Michelle is working for.

Will: This book, rather than getting bogged down in all of the interpersonal drama, does manage to include a little bit of action, which I think is a smart move to keep the story moving and interesting. But maybe it was too much of a fetch quest narratively — “we gotta get the thing that’ll help us break in” is not the strongest hook for a story.

Ian: I’m hoping that the eyeball scanner detail becomes important later, and that it isn’t just a fetch quest but foreshadowing for some problem with the infiltration. I also like that this series isn’t trying to hide that the giant monster is going to wake up — in fact, the guys planning the heist are basically part of a kaiju cult. Rather than do their best to obscure whether things are going to go wrong, Kaiju Score acknowledges that the reader will have already figured that out, and instead focuses on the when and how things will go wrong. I like that respect for the audience.

Will: Finally, as I mentioned earlier, putting this art next to Naughty List is almost an unfair fight — The Plan, with its schematic of the base, was illustrated perfectly.

Ian: I love the character design in this book. Everyone is so expressive, and the motorcycle chase had the perfect feeling of momentum. The art for this book is pretty much pitch-perfect, and I eagerly look forward to getting more kaiju action.

Does This Smell OK?

Hard to say whether it’s a typo or bad dialogue, but the current state of the elves “bothering the shit out me” is unfortunate for Santa — and the elves.
I can always respect a Schoolhouse Rock callout, as in Wrong Earth: Purple.
All-star comic hype man David Hyde comes in with a hilarious essay/list of cocktail recipes in there as well.

Rapid fire question time:
- Who’s better: Prince or Michael Jackson?
  - Will: Prince.
  - Ian: Prince.
- What’s a good racing horse/dog/reindeer name?
  - Will: Santa’s Little Blue Pill
  - Ian: This Is Not My Beautiful Horse
- What’s our heist and who’s the ONE person we need to pull it off?
  - Will: The world’s largest pretzel, The Rock (to be himself and cause a distraction)
  - Ian: Exotic plant seeds from the Svalbard Global Seed Vault, famous venture capitalist Chris Dixon (for the … seed money)
    - Will: That’s good shit.
Bears dig leftover McDonald’s, apparently.
There are some truly horrific ideas for leftover grilled hot dogs in this piece, including hot dog-stuffed squash and hot dog pizza. Hot dog macaroni and cheese, though? Thumbs up.