A Sad, Lonely Trip to Mars (and Other Scary and/or Violent Stuff)

In a house by the shore, there’s something secret going on. Something unholy. Something for … the Stuff of Nightmares #1, written by R.L. Stine, drawn by A.L. Kaplan, colored by Roman Titov, lettered by Jim Campbell and published by BOOM Studios.

Roy Livingston has never been important. Until now. And all he has to do is complete a one-way interstellar journey before his cancer kills him. Traveling to Mars #1 is written by Mark Russell, drawn by Roberto “Dakar” Meli, colored by Chiara Di Francia, lettered by Mattia Gentili and published by Ablaze.

Rose, Poppy and Violet are three very different sisters, but they have a murdered mom in common. And they’re going to find out who did it in The Deadliest Bouquet #1, written and lettered by Erica Schultz, drawn by Carola Borelli, colored by Gab Contreras and published by Image.

Will Nevin: IAN. It’s been, like, a month. That’s stretching it even for us, a column with fundamental values such as “what is timely?” and “we’ll get around to it eventually.”

Ian Gregory: I like to think of us as being on the forefront of comics criticism, Will. We’re always innovating and trying out new methods. It just so happens that the method “don’t do comics criticism” didn’t end up working out.

Will: I’d like to think it keeps us fresher when so many things we cover are stale. But nevertheless, a lot has happened in our hiatus. One of our favorite-ish publishers has declared bankruptcy, seriously calling into question whether they’ll be an ongoing concern. And other publishers have insisted upon printing books in our absence. The monsters. But in this new year, I resolve to do this more regularly. Maybe. You have any 2023 resolutions?

Ian: A bit awkward that we did an entire column on AfterShock books about a week before news broke of their financial insolvency and backlog of unpaid creators. Oops?

As for 2023, I’ve got lots of things that need doing. Top of that list? Figure out what makes a mystery comic actually interesting. We read so many here, and I think I’ve given a dozen conflicting opinions about what makes a “good” mystery.

Will: Mysteries, eh? I’ll have to put that new Agatha Christie-meets-competitive-cooking Dark Horse book on our list. I was thinking about what books to haul out of cold storage to cover, and I initially settled on unfinished business from last year — something like Rogues’ Gallery or 007 or Golden Rage. Survival Street could have been in there, too. But then I figured that it’s a new year, so let’s start fresh with new books. And you know what? I’m really glad I did because two of these really hooked me, and the third isn’t even all that bad.

Let’s get to it.

Ian: I’m heartened by your optimism, Will, but your track record is still against you. We’ll see.

Stuff of Nightmares: The Master of Kiddie Horror Does Grown Up Spooks Pretty Good

Will: R.L. Stine … that there is a name that takes me all the way back to fourth grade and the time I got in trouble for reading Goosebumps during recess at the top of the slide that no one used. You got any familiarity with the man’s work?

Ian: Goosebumps, like Scooby-Doo, is one of those media franchises that bridge the generations. I don’t think my parents ever bought me a Goosebumps book, and I don’t think I ever took any out from the library, but they were just around. Classrooms had them, friends had them, and they simply appeared in places left unobserved for too long. I never got too into them as a kid, but even 20 years later I still remember a couple of scenes off the top of my head, so something clearly stuck.

Will: As I’m reading this story, I had the feeling this was a one-and-done entry in an anthology series, so I was surprised to see our little family Frankenstein escape for another chapter. It’s not the deepest story in the world (but certainly more adult than Goosebumps), but Stein knows what he’s doing — the body horror, bloodshed and overall weirdness make for a good yarn I want to see continue.

Ian: I, too, assumed this would be an anthology series, if only from the presence of that damned omnipresent Spooky Horror Anthology Narrator guy we see all the time. I’ve complained about this trope previously in the column, and I’m complaining about it now. I get that it’s a classic, but I’d at least like to see some variation — this guy even has “Keeper” in his name! But I suppose Stine is on the record as being a longtime Tales from the Crypt fan, so at least he’s doing the narrator as an intentional homage and not just because he feels obligated.

Will: I get your point on the narrator. When you can’t do Cryptkeeper, what’s the point, really?

Ian: Anyway, lots of credit to A.L. Kaplan on the art and Roman Titov on colors. Kaplan’s faces are really good, and he manages to convey the whole spectrum of emotions (Here, that spectrum ranges from “vaguely disgusted” to “maniacal laughter”). I’m not sure if I’m exactly desperate to find out what will happen next, but I can respect the craft with which this story is told.

Will: I was a big fan of the colors here, especially the scene at the beach. And the overall layouts and visual pacing are great in stretches like when the delivery man shows up to the creepy house where they’re studying “climate change.”

Ian: I really liked the page where the house is on fire, and the fire consumes the night sky. The flat coloring, the grain effect and the clear color separation make the fire look beautiful. I almost wish the panel of the mongrels burning to death wasn’t ruining the vibe.

Traveling to Mars: When the Future is But a Dying Mall

Will: Here’s a new publisher for us: Ablaze. Know absolutely nothing about them other than this book does not make me third-hand embarrassed for its creative team, so they have some standards and editorial control over there. And, really, this effort clears that admittedly low bar by … well, a lot, since I really liked this book. Maybe it’s because I felt seen because it stars a mediocre white Alabama man. It felt quieter, more dignified than some of Russell’s other work, and I had some real empathy for this guy even with the background noise of going to Mars and the planetary struggle for resources.

Ian: We’ve read some Deadbox on this column, and it just didn’t do it for me. That series always felt comically overblown, a horror anthology where every character was a half-formed stereotype. Here, at least, we get a main character with actual depth to him. I like that he makes the “right” decision for his family, only to regret it as he gains — literally — a broader perspective. He’s influenced by money, but not by over-the-top and absurd gifts. If you’re going to write a character-focused series, as this one is, you have to hit the difficult sweet spot between “has room for character development” and “not totally unlikeable.”

Will: One stretch that I really liked — one that showed how much thought Russell put into this book — was the depiction of the U.S. Space and Rocket Center here in Huntsville. It’s where I live (I drive by it three or four times a week), and Russell absolutely pegged it as having the same energy as a “dying mall” and what that says for America’s investment in science and discovery. Cutting insight — although I wish the art could have imagined it as a little more dilapidated in 2048 to really drive home that point.

Ian: I did like how un-futuristic the Earth scenes look. In only 20 years, things probably aren’t going to change that much for those of us down here. It makes the contrast between the resource-deprived Earth and the hyper-futuristic space station even more acute. I wonder what other changes will occur as our character gets further removed from “reality” and ingrained into this fantastical environment.

Will: That small complaint with the art aside, I thought everything else here was good, especially the detail and weathering on Roy’s face. He looks like a man who’s gone through some shit. I guess cancer’ll do that to you.

Ian: I have a complaint! There’s basically no signaling between the end of this issue and the start of the 10-page preview for The Bogeyman in the back pages — there’s a small black bar at the bottom, but I didn’t notice that until I had reread that page and the next multiple times trying to figure out the through-line.

Will: That conclusion was a wee bit sudden, wasn’t it?

The Deadliest Bouquet: Assassins of OK-ishness

Will: I couldn’t settle on either Stuff of Nightmares or Traveling to Mars as my Freshest Chicken of the Week, so I guess they’re tied? That does land Deadliest Bouquet in third place, but it’s still not that bad. I think this has the problem of a lot of #1s in that it’s introducing a bunch of characters all at once, and not many of them stick. The sisters? One’s … umm … a bit more free with her sexuality and is a world traveler, one is a mom with a goofy husband who doesn’t know what he’s in the middle of and the other sister is … the other sister. I dunno, this story didn’t immediately hook me like the other two.

Ian: Something about the execution of this issue didn’t work for me. I felt like the characters jumped around in conversation way too quickly, as if they were in a rush to get out all their exposition at once. I also felt like the art was stilted — the poses felt unnatural, and the ending of the issue was especially lifeless. One of the characters literally sticks a knife in a dude’s pants, and I felt absolutely no tension or drama. Ultimately, I guess I would call it a problem of staging — half this issue is the three sisters standing in a nondescript room talking at each other.

Will: What do you think of the general premise (a badass super spy/whatever mom dies, leaving three badass daughters to find her killer)? I think most of this worked, but it also seemed a little off tonally, like this leaned too much into comedy.

Ian: I maybe set myself up for disappointment, as my initial read on the situation was that these three sisters used to solve Hardy Boys, Nancy Drew-style crimes, and this was like their reunion tour (sort of like The Kid Detective).

Will: I think I like your idea better.

Ian: I’m not super compelled by this spy-slash-assassin angle, because it was so out of focus here. They’ve got all of these skills, sure, but we’ve been given no reason to care about why. Just the mystery of what they got up to as children doesn’t do it for me, because it’s not a real mystery. All the characters know, and we haven’t been told.

Will: Again, I thought the art was fine here, probably strongest in the character designs that seemed to give each sister a sense of personality. (That, upon reflection, seems more caricature than anything else. But perhaps the series can grow in depth.)

Ian: Caricature is a good word for it. Beyond the staging issue I mentioned, and also the dialogue issue, I did think the expressions were well done.

Scrounging for Dessert

Will: OK, Ian, you know how I like to exercise dictatorial control over this little endeavor of ours, but how about I give you a little taste of authority and agency? As a treat. What’s one book from this week and one book from that list I prattled off up there that you’d like to see us do next time, which will definitely not be a month from now?

Ian: I’m definitely interested in seeing where Traveling to Mars is headed — other than Mars, that is. As for the older books, let’s go back to Rogues’ Gallery. I remember that the first two issues had completely different perspectives, and I want to know if the third will continue that trend.

Does This Smell OK?

Sound Effects Watch: For the first time ever, I’m giving a negative shoutout. Deadliest Bouquet reuses the same “SHUNK” effect for both times a knife appears — once as it lands in a wood door frame, and once as it slides out of a sleeve. What? One of those is a SHUNK, sure, but the other? As far as I can tell, it’s exactly the same effect, just resized and rotated. I’m disappointed.
Rapid fire questions:
- Scariest thing you encountered in fiction as a kid?
  - Will: “The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill” in the comic book version of “Creepshow,” which I read before I saw the movie. Of all the roles to give Stephen King. Lord.
  - Ian: Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. Though that fear was much more inspired by Stephen Gammell’s art than the fiction itself.
- Who’s your favorite Alabama Man not named Will?
  - Will: Tim Cook, I guess? Even though he went to that goddamned cow college across the state.
  - Ian: I guess it’s gotta be Willie Mays.
    - Will: Interesting pick! Could have also gone with Henry “Hank” Aaron if you want to talk baseball. In comics, we’re not all that bad with Mark Waid and Jason Aaron.
- Got a favorite flower?
  - Will: Tulips, because tulip mania (whether it was true or not) amuses me.
  - Ian: Hydrangeas, because of a running family dispute over whether I or my sister gave my mother her massive hydrangea plant (we each gifted her one, but only one survived — and it was mine).
    - Will: Does your dad take a position on this?
Whelp, here’s one guy who will take care of your leftovers.
If you’re the sort of person who would take leftover fried chicken and turn it into a pizza … what are you doing with your life?