The election. Good god, the election. His stupid face. Gleeful ignorance. Elon Musk. A single square of toilet paper on an otherwise barren roll. Decaf coffee. Stephen Miller. Four more years. There are any number of reasons to sink slowly, softly and sadly into blackness. These are some of my reasons to keep my head up.

Spooky anthology books

Because I am Of A Certain Age, I have a real soft spot for schlock horror anthology television — no, not Twilight Zone, I’m not that old. (Besides, that show was actually good.) No, I’m talking Tales from the Crypt, Tales from the Darkside and a handful of others (like any number of failed Outer Limits reboots) that were enjoyable but fell far, far short of Rod Serling’s unimpeachable masterpiece. These shows were like greasy popcorn chicken — bad for you and chock full of fillers, but they went down easy and didn’t (usually) come back up. Oni’s Entertaining Comics comic reboot is better than the food abomination I’m analogizing it to, yet it’s got the same delicious and consumable ethos (and will also likely not win any Emmys). Epitaphs from the Abyss, the more straightforward-er of the books as compared to the sci-fi Cruel Universe, is more my speed, my jam, but I’m not going to shit on either. They’re just fun. And Epitaphs especially — with its murdery goodness — really ratchets up the anxiety. Both #1s are probably the best in their respective runs to date, but Jason Aaron has a solid story in Epitaphs #2. Unreliable narrators, stories with good ol’ fashioned morals and folks who get what’s comin’ to them — what’s not to like here?

BOOM Studios’ Hello Darkness is more experimental and a bit more uneven. Honestly, I’m only continuing to read that for Garth Ennis’ serialized nuclear horror piece, mostly because of my ongoing susceptibility to the sunk cost fallacy. I had to get through so many of his thoughts on the Russian-Ukrainian conflict, you know? There has to be some kind of satisfying payoff … right?

Buy Epitaphs from the Abyss #4 here.

Balatro

If cocaine was distilled into video game form, it would be Balatro, a deck-building game that combines poker, Magic and the sweet, sweet miseries of addiction. I’m writing this piece during a work meeting (shhhhh, don’t tell mah boss), but I swear to god, all I want to do is drink and play Balatro, and as soon as I get off this call, it’s back to the cards, baby. OK, so if you have no idea what I’m talking about, you start with a standard 52-card deck faced with a rapidly escalating series of blinds with aggressive point targets to hit. Along the way, you pick up jokers that change the rules of poker or earn you extra money that aids in buying more cards. Oh, and there are a variety of decks you can play with, like the Checkered Deck (only hearts and spades) pictured above. I feel like I’m not explaining it well. Just know that if it had microtransactions, I would be broke. But my deck would be the shit.

Aliens vs. Avengers

I don’t know what I expected from Jonathan Hickman’s Aliens vs. Avengers aside from infographics, but it unsurprisingly has some real meat to it. And why wouldn’t it? It’s like Marvel editorial brought in the ghost of Frank Lloyd Wright to redesign the guest bathroom in the lobby — just so very, very extra. I thought going in this was going to be a straight up story (aliens land, heroes fight), but that was relatively stupid of me, wasn’t it? No, this is the story of the end of Earth, and the Old Wo/Man Avengers holding it together *just* long enough to stave off the alien horde. Middle-aged Miles Morales is disturbing, and I don’t know enough of the Aliens lore that Hickman is tapping into here, but this is still just fun to watch.

Buy Aliens vs. Avengers #2 here.

Paying good money to watch old movies

Did they stop making movies after the pandemic? (Whoever “they” is.) It just feels like the distribution system has changed, ya know? With so many streaming exclusives and tiny theatrical windows, the theater experience isn’t what it used to be. So I’m thankful for the weird little “event” releases that get old movies like They Live and The Matrix back on to big screens for a weekend or two. The last one of these I took in was the 25th anniversary screening of Boondock Saints, a movie that is, yes, best enjoyed by 14-year-olds and other emotionally stunted nitwits. Willem Dafoe is incredible (still), but lord, the warts really show when you do any thinking at all about it. And the introduction from writer/director Troy Duffy is a great reminder of why he has not done much writing or directing in the last 25 years. What an insufferable, self-aggrandizing buffoon. First, stop relegating the movie’s tortured development — I’m sorry that the Hollywood establishment figured out with a quickness you’re a dipshit. Second, I’d stop harping on Harvey Weinstein’s place in that story. He did far, far worse than hurting your feelings, bro.

Absolute Universe

The first three #1s of the Absolute Universe are finally out, and I dug ‘em — Batman seems like the most radical revision (given that the orphan billionaire is no longer an orphan nor a billionaire) and Wonder Woman the safest, with Superman (along with his new Jarvis-esque sentient armor) coming in somewhere in the middle. If I could talk to any of these creators, if I could give them any advice, it would be to be unburdened by what has been. Did Joker really need to pop up in Batman #1? Did Lois have to show up in Superman? If we can deconstruct the hell out of these characters, we can do the same with their villains and supporting cast — and that includes excluding them entirely. (In doing away with the Kents, Jason Aaron at least seems inclined to listen.) As this universe continues to blossom, I want to feel like anything is possible while still having *some* connection to the characters we know, and to do that, we’ve gotta take some chances.

Buy Absolute Batman #2 here.

Until next time, keep your head up.

Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate, ComicsXF may earn from qualifying purchases.