Over the last few months, us X-Fans have gotten accustomed to island life. Krakoa has become our home. We visit tiki bars, hang out on beaches, and enjoy a political system that is questionable. With the recent global pandemic, Krakoa has been taken from us. Comics aren’t coming out this week, we don’t know when they are coming back. But that passion for island life? It leaves a hole that still needs filled. A hunger that can only be sated by that salt-water air, ocean breeze, and Animal Crossing: New Horizons.
If you haven’t played Animal Crossing, it’s a kind, relaxing game where you live in a village and do whatever you feel like. If you want to fish, you can. If you want to decorate your home, you can. If you want to talk to silly animals, you can. It’s a unique, almost zen experience where the nice dog from Smash Bros helps you run your community without having to worry about the hellscape around us.
Because there is nothing else to talk about, today, we are going to talk about Animal Crossing and the wonderful experiences I’ve had in it.
Island In The Sun
Animal Crossing: New Horizons presents the idea that you, an entrepreneurial Tanuki family, an airline, and two weirdos have decided to start a new life on a deserted island. This is seemingly organized by Timmy and Tommy Nook, two small boys who help guide you through this very bad idea. They asked me my name, I answered “Island Boi”.
What you need to know about me is that I unironically own twenty-some tropical patterned button-ups. I live nowhere near the ocean, I can’t experience that island lyfe in my day-to-day while trapped in my basement social distancing. In Animal Crossing however, I can be whoever I want. I can be Island Boi. I am Island Boi.
It is here on the island, now named Margarita after my favorite island drink, that I start anew. Timmy and Tommy are here, and so are my new neighbors. Flip is a high energy monkey who loves to lift weights and get swole. He is an unproblematic jock. In the original Japanese, his name is Sasuke, which I have been made to understand is from a popular ninja cartoon. Phoebe is an ostrich whose personality is “nice”. And then there’s Tom Nook.
The Capitalist
Tom Nook may be the only good capitalist to ever exist. Thomas here essentially gave me airfare to the island and beach front property on Margarita for free. It cost me 5000 Nook Miles, easy to aquire rewards points that you get for fishing and gardening. He then built me a house, with my consent, and told me to pay it off when I felt like it. Tom Nook uses the tools of capitalism to encourage people to plant flowers and learn carpentry. To decorate. To design clothes, to enjoy life to its’ fullest. Tom Nook is a good man, a family man, and I love to see him thrive the way he is.
My Corner Of Paradise
Empowered by Tom, I began building my new home. I wanted a patio, somewhere I could relax, grill out, and enjoy a couple cold ones with the boys. So I just did it. I purchased some furniture from the smaller Nook, did a bit of landscaping, and created my own island paradise right between the beach and the museum. It is my home away from home now as I sit and wait for Blathers to finish building.
Blathers…
Blathers, if you don’t know, is an owl who decided to run a museum next to my patio. It is an eyesore on the community because, as he finishes building, I have to leave all the bugs, fish, and fossils I found for him sitting around like a trash person.
Blathers’ tardiness is causing such a fuss that my beautiful new home is nearly unusable. I have to store my very good dinosaur bones in my home, where I sleep, because I think Phoebe might try to steal my T-Rex torso if I leave it outdoors. What I am saying is, all the hate people on the internet have for Tom Nook should be reserved for Blathers.
Big Old Jet Airliner
The thing taking the most of my time is looking for iron nuggets, a task that, when completed, will allow the small Nooks to open a store. This has taken me on a globe trotting expedition where Island Boi has become the sole cause of deforestation. I have hit every rock, I have chopped every tree, I have fished every river. I still need three iron nuggets.
In these travels, I have not been alone. I visited the beautiful island of Charybdis, home to Xavier Files contributor Nola. They welcomed me with open arms and a flag waving high.
These are difficult times. We are isolated with no real idea when this will end. Comics aren’t coming out and frankly, none of us know what to do. So why not just relax and travel to Margarita? The gates are open, the apples are fresh, and campfires are always roaring. We may be trapped inside, but in Animal Crossing: New Horizons, the world is always wide open.
Zachary Jenkins runs the Xavier Files Media Empire and is a co-host on the podcast “Battle of the Atom.” Shocking everyone, he has a full and vibrant life outside of X-Men.
Zachary Jenkins co-hosts the podcast Battle of the Atom and is the former editor-in-chief of ComicsXF. Shocking everyone, he has a full and vibrant life outside all this.
