Marvel Files - Comics Reviews 12/09/2020

Hello friends and readers! We’re back with another week of Marvel Minutiae, as Zoe Tunnell dives under the sea to give her thoughts on King in Black: Namor #1, while Spider-Correspondent Tony Thornley continues his trudge down the long road that is Last Remains in Amazing Spider-Man #54, and I (editor of this piece Chris Eddleman) decide to break my silence on Spider-Man #5.

King in Black: Namor #1

Written by: Kurt Busiek

Pencils by: Benjamin Dewey and Jonas Charff

Inks by: Benjamin Dewey and Jonas Charff

Colors by: Tríona Farrell

Letters by: Joe Caramagna

King in Black: Namor is certainly a comic book. Honestly, I am shocked at how little springs to mind trying to write about it. Benjamin Dewey, Jonas Charff, and Tríona Farrell all do admirable work on the art side of things, rendering the title in a gorgeous blue-tinted and realistic way that helps ground the aquatic affair. Storywise, however, it might be the single most forgettable story I’ve ever read from Kurt Busiek. It isn’t bad. It isn’t good. It just…exists.

The tie-in, which thus far has absolutely no connection to the King in Black event whose name it bears, largely follows a young Namor in his days as the Crown Prince of Atlantis. Joined by teenage Attuma and Dorma, the trio romp their way through a fantasy-tinged festival and eventual attack by rebels before embarking on a quest with their greatest heroes. While I admire the attempt to inject some personality into Marvel’s Atlantis and Namor’s youth, nothing about the tale feels fresh or even exciting, and it tells a story that has been told better in a dozen different places.

Having recently re-read Busiek’s short run on Aquaman: Sword of Atlantis, Namor can’t help but feel like a shallow imitation of the former. From the fantasy trappings to its young, unsure lead, the debut issue doesn’t even reach heights achieved by Busiek himself. It is gorgeous to look at and introduces a handful of neat ideas into the Atlantis mythos, but when put up against the absolute barn-burners Marvel is putting out right now (hell, even just against the books from this week) there’s no real compelling reason to read it. Even if you’re a King in Black completionist, for whatever reason you would be, the utter lack of any goop or goop-related antics has it’s status of a tie-in as puzzling as the rest of it’s content.

Amazing Spider-Man #54

Written by: Nick Spencer

Pencils by: Mark Bagley

Inks by: John Dell

Colors by: Edgar Delgado

Letters by: Joe Caramagna

Have you ever watched a crash? Train wreck, car crash, even some idiot on a skateboard?

Don’t lie. You have.

It’s human nature to watch one. Sometimes even on repeat.

We’re fascinated by watching something go horribly and irreparably wrong.

We cannot turn away.

“Amazing Spider-Man: Last Remains” is a train wreck.

There’s nothing you can say to make me think otherwise. It’s simply a disaster of a story.

We have Nick Spencer’s incredibly cliched script. Suddenly Harry Osborn has made yet another heel turn, but why? Because people close to Peter Parker keep getting hurt. That’s the whole motivation Harry gives here. A character who has made his peace with his life, Spider-Man, the Goblins and everything else, and he turns into a murderous maniac because he’s mad at Pete. Never mind that his father is more of the issue with his life and the trainwreck it’s been. The only bright spot is the unintentional meta dialogue above, where Peter tears apart two and a half years of nostalgia-driven crappy Spider-Man stories.

That’s not even considering his powers and how he got them. This mystical, omnipresent monster that has been Kindred has to have come from somewhere. Yet all we know is that he’s powerful, and has the power of resurrection.

There’s a twist here I’m sure, whether it’s in Harry being manipulated, replaced, corrupted or whatever, and it hasn’t been telegraphed or set up at all. We only have an issue or two left of this story and I cannot see how it’s going to get to the end, except maybe the obvious cliches conclusion set up by the issue’s final pages. Somehow Nick Spencer has been allowed to continue with what has to be simply the worst run on Amazing Spider-Man in the title’s history, while seemingly pulling every bit of his story entirely out of his ass. It’s a perfect example of a mediocre white male failing upwards.

And don’t get me started on Bagley’s art here.

I like Mark Bagley. I think he’s one of the greatest Spider-Man artists of all time. Yet this story’s vileness has rubbed off on him, all starting with an opening page featuring the most phallic centipedes in the history of entomology. The characters look 16, and the issue’s most emotionally impactful scene, where Harry murders and resurrects Peter over and over, is muddied and unclear.

It’s unfathomable to me, a lifelong Spider-Man fan, that ANYTHING could come along and usurp Sins Past as the worst Spider-Man story of all time. BUT. HERE. WE. ARE.

In the end the only thing this story has over Sins Past is that it hasn’t shown us Norman Osborn’s o-face. And even that may not be enough to put it above it.

So let’s keep watching the car crash and pray that Peter Parker survives…

Good grief Chris, is the entire Spider-Man line just a disaster lately or what?

Spider-Man #5

Written by: J.J. Abrams and Henry Abrams

Art by: Sara Pichelli

Ink Assistance by: Elisabetta D’Amico

Colors by: Dave Stewart

Letters by: Joe Caramagna

Yeah it sure is Tony. Spider-Man is on notice this week, especially our “headliner”. This will be my first and last review of this limited series, one that has the audacity to claim the title of Spider-Man Vol. 3. It’s hard to not be frustrated writing this review, and not just because of the obvious name grab and nepotism involved with the production of this comic. And also not just because of the incredibly long delays, made even longer by our present times.

It’s frustrating because this comic is dull as dishwater. It’s predictable in some ways and completely impossible to follow in others. Impossible to follow in that the mechanism of Mary Jane’s return suddenly appears in the story, but predictable in that you know who it will be used to resurrect immediately. It introduces all of its characters as two-dimensional tropes given certain lines to say for “snappy” dialogue. It’s paced poorly and builds to almost no climax, with much of the action condensed to single inconsequential panels.

I’m certain that by issue 5, I am definitely supposed to care about the plight of young Ben Parker, but he is concentrated vanilla pudding, a cardboard cut-out of teen superhero amongst a blurred backdrop that is his supporting cast. Even his father is barely the Peter we know and love, and even when that could be explored, it is merely washed over, leaving a bitter hero with no growth shown at all.

The villains of this piece, created whole cloth simply for this luckily out of continuity story, are flat, with hackneyed motivations and no interesting characteristics. They are defeated inconsequentially, leaving us to wonder truly what the point was.

There is a return, a twist, in the form of Ben’s mother MJ returning…from the grave…because she was a Cadaverous zombie! But it’s not built upon in the least, and seemingly happens simply because it would be “cool.” It’s also so confusing, so baffling, that I had to go back and even see if it was possible given the way the story was setup. And not to get too Cinema Sins, but I don’t actually see how it happened at all, given that Peter recovered her body in the first issue. The suddenness with which it occurred was so incredibly jarring.

While Caramagna, as per the usual, is doing great work here, I wasn’ as fond of Pichelli’s work as in the past. Some of her art seemed muddled, sort of washed out. Dave Stewart’s colors were perfectly serviceable, but the combination between the two left for some strange character faces, that seemed to be less defined. I was a bit disappointed from what I normally consider incredible artists.

This work of vanity is truly not worth your time in the least. It’s upsetting to me that it even exists.