(Ed. note: I first asked Rob to rate all the fast food fish sandwiches under the auspices of my own hubris. I am fairly certain, that on some of his trips, he may have been locked in some liminal spaces. For that, I apologize)
On February 10, 2021, Popeyes announced a new fish sandwich. They claimed that “The new Cajun Flounder Sandwich is made to perfection. […] Caught in the icy waters of the Pacific, Popeyes flounder filet is light, flakey and seasoned in a blend of the Louisiana brand’s Cajun seasoning. Dusted in a crispy southern coating and fried up golden brown, the Cajun Flounder Sandwich delivers the flavor and crunch one would expect to find at a local dockside fish shack.”
Some time near the end of the fifth century BCE, an unknown author composed the Book of Jonah, in which a prophet tries to flee from God, and so “the Lord prepared a great fish to swallow up Jonas: and Jonas was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights.”
On March 7, 1962, the massive, deadly storm that would be forever after known as the “Ash Wednesday Storm of 1962” was at its height. It would kill forty people before it abated.
Sometime near the end of the first century CE, the person or persons now referred to as John the Evangelist wrote that one day, when His disciples were fishing, and failing to catch any fish, Jesus Christ called out to them “He saith to them: Cast the net on the right side of the ship, and you shall find. They cast therefore; and now they were not able to draw it, for the multitude of fishes.” As they ate their meal of fish, Jesus Christ, according to this evangelist, asked His apostle Peter three times whether he loved Him, and then foretold that Peter would, in fact, deny Him three times.
On March 8, 2021, A&W announced a new fish sandwich. The press release declared: “With many of the country’s full-service restaurants closed or facing dine-in restrictions, A&W is pleased to offer consumers a variety of popular seafood options. […] Whether guests enjoy them in our dining rooms that are open or take them home, A&W’s seafood items are a tasty and affordable way to observe Lent.”
On January 25, 1983, the current Code of Canon Law of the Catholic Church was promulgated. Canons 1250 through 1253 read: “The penitential days and times in the universal Church are every Friday of the whole year and the season of Lent./ Abstinence from meat, or from some other food as determined by the Episcopal Conference, is to be observed on all Fridays, unless a solemnity should fall on a Friday. Abstinence and fasting are to be observed on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday./ The law of abstinence binds those who have completed their fourteenth year. The law of fasting binds those who have attained their majority, until the beginning of their sixtieth year. Pastors of souls and parents are to ensure that even those who by reason of their age are not bound by the law of fasting and abstinence, are taught the true meaning of penance./ The conference of bishops can determine more precisely the observance of fast and abstinence as well as substitute other forms of penance, especially works of charity and exercises of piety, in whole or in part, for abstinence and fast.” This was not the first Code of Canon Law which required Catholics to fast and abstain from meat; Christian practices of fasting and abstinence date in some form to the first few centuries of Christianity’s existence.
Some time in the first third of the first century CE, the historical person who we now call Jesus, if such a person did exist, likely did, at least once, go fishing.
In 1947, a series of scrolls, now known as the “Dead Sea Scrolls” were discovered in the caves at Qumran. These included fragments from the Book of Jonah.
On November 18, 1966, the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops declared that, for all Catholics residing within diocese under their jurisdiction, only Fridays in Lent carried the requirement for abstinence from meat, as “hanging circumstances, including economic, dietary, and social elements, have made some of our people feel that the renunciation of the eating of meat is not always and for everyone the most effective means of practicing penance. Meat was once an exceptional form of food; now it is commonplace.”
In the 8th or 9th century CE, the Pirkei De-Rabbi Eliezer says of Jonah’s experience: “The two eyes of the fish were like shuttered windows which shone for Jonah, and he could see all that was in the sea and the underworld.” (emphasis added)
On either March 9, 16, 23, or 30, or April 6, 13, or 20, that is to say, on a day either two, nine, sixteen, twenty-three, thirty, thirty-seven, forty-four, or fifty-one days after the height of the Ash Wednesday Storm, Lou Groen served the first McDonalds Fish Fillet Sandwich, in order to keep Catholics, abstaining from meat on Fridays during the Lenten season, coming to his restaurant.
On April 2, 2021, ComicsXF began to publish their Complete Guide to the Fast Food Fish Filet Sandwich.
That guide is embedded above
Robert Secundus is an amateur-angelologist-for-hire.
