I would describe myself as a middle of the road hot sauce consumer and comic book fan. I show out for all the movies and most of the shows, but I’m picky about which comics I actually choose to read. I wouldn’t win any trivia contests and would be a terrible editor at CXF [Ed. Note: You’d do just fine, Cat]. I’m just in it for the fun! I think the same could be said about my hot sauce consumption. I enjoy a good, spicy flavor, but if it’s hot just for the sake of being hot I’m not interested. I’m not one to put it in my bag. My partner got me into it by watching Hot One’s weekly and I wanted in on the fun.
I keep a couple on standby. I love a good Queen Majesty on my egg sandwich in the morning. Spicy Garlic is my go to flavor at Buffalo Wild Wings. With that said, I have participated in a couple of rounds of a mock Hot One’s episode with my partner and his friends. What an experience, going through all of these again!
Sriracha -1,000-2,500 SHU
Sriracha is a blend of chili peppers, garlic, and vinegar. It’s a Thai and vietnamese staple. I would describe Sriracha as a little spark. When I first started hot sauce, this used to be all I added to stuff. It’s got a great flavor and just about everyone has heard of it because it’s very versatile.
I paired this one with Starfire. She’s a cute spark of energy with a touch of a temper, but definitely a DC team member you’d want on your side in a pinch!
Jailhouse Jalapeño Brew – est. 2500-8000 SHU
I LOVE this sauce! It’s one we found on vacation a while ago and I put it on everything. Hot ham and cheese, scrambled eggs, and chips are all great with this one. It’s got a strong mustard taste, but it’s sweet and has a good zing to it.
I paired this one with Gambit. He’s a southern boy with flare and has a thief’s guild, rough and tumble past. I think he pairs perfectly with Jailhouse Jalapeño!
Queen Majesty Jalapeño Tequila & Lime – 9000 SHU
The name says it all with this one. It’s the perfect sauce for dipping Tostitos Lime Chips in, but another staple in my meals. I usually put it with a bit of ranch on a nice salad for lunch. It’s a good kick with the citrus offsetting the Jalaneo’s.
I paired this one with Poison Ivy. She’s a smart gal with pheromone powers and a fan of poison and toxic plants so I think she’s a good match for this green sauce. Definitely a versatile spice and character that could be added to make anything better!
Cheeba Gold – 5300 SHU
This one has some scotch bonnet with a citrus blend of lemon and peaches. It’s got a unique flavor that I enjoy, even if it isn’t one of my favorites. This one kicks the heat up a notch and hit me in the throat.
Because of this I felt Silver Banshee was a good fit. She’s a fiery lass who has a family history of supersonic screeches. She’s been a thorn in the side of the Superfam and I think her character is a natural pair for Cheeba Gold, even though it’s got a tropical flavor.
Secret Aardvark Habanero Hot – 5000 SHU
Secret Aardvark is a good one for Tex Mex. It’s a good marinade as it’s also got some tomatoes in there. It’s got a smokey flavor that goes on anything! The Secret Aardvark line up is one of my favorites and if a smokey one isn’t your thing, I also recommend their Drunken Garlic Black Bean.
I paired this one with Red Skull and looking back I can’t quite agree with adrenaline high me. It’s definitely not as bad as a skull Nazi.They both have that bright red sheen, to them, so that must have been what made that click in my brain.
Gindo’s Ghost of Christmas Past – Unknown
Gindo’s has a great line up and rotates new flavors frequently. Their Ghost of Christmas Past has a nice slow burn. It starts off with flavor and creeps up on you with the heat. This one is great on chicken, but their whole line up is very versatile and each label lines out what it goes well with.
I paired this one with Bishop. The time connection probably had a lot to do with it, but I think Bishop is a bit of a slow burn himself. With his energy manipulation, he’s an interesting power to throw into any mix and I think the same can be said of Gindo’s.
Queen Majesty Charcoal Ghost – 10,000-12,000 possibly SHU
I LOVE this kick. I already mentioned I’m a big fan of Queen Majesty and this is one I appreciate for it’s sharp sting. It’s got a smokey feel to it and the plums give it a slight sweetness that it needs to balance it out. It does pack a punch though. It’s not one to just slather on your steak.
For that reason I gave this one to Thanos. Because of its bite, it’s a natural pair for me to Thanos, who just wants to destroy all life like this will singe your tastebuds . . . but for the greater good, of course.
Da Bomb – 135,600 SHU
Da Bomb is just nasty. It’s a hot sauce made just to enjoy watching people squirm under it. I’ve had it on at least 4 occasions and regret it every single time. To me it feels like when you’re camping and smoke from the campfire just rushed right into your mouth and eyes.
It’s just evil for the sake of being evil which reminds me of the Joker. Everyone loves to watch someone suffer through Da Bomb , so it feels like a hot sauce made by The Joker himself, who just wants to see you suffer and laugh at your pain.
Chocolate Plague – 690,000 SHU
This one has a good flavor despite being so hot. It’s nice and full with a smokey flavor. A drop or two would go great in a chili. But it’s heat builds! When you think you’re through it, it comes back to kick your tongue again.
I think Doomsday is a good match for this one since he’s known for killing and defeating Superman. Like Chocolate Plague, Doomsday packs a punch and keeps on coming.
and Tomeu Morey
Torchbearer’s Garlic Reaper – 116,000 SHU
Oh boy. The first time I had this one, it gave me back spasms! It has a powerful flavor that hits you in waves! It’s creamy garlic is delicious though. If I could pull the heat out of it, I’d put it on everything I eat. I felt that heat in my nasal cavity though, and it took a while to clear.
For that reason I’m giving it to Silver Surfer. Traveling faster than light with cosmic power, the Surfer will also come at you in waves.
Hot One’s The Last Dab – 1,000,000+ SHU
The Last Dab is one of the few sauces that are ridiculously spicy that I still enjoy eating. It’s got a great smokey tang. It also can be a mean sauce though, despite that good flavor. It builds up in intensity creating pockets of relief before attacking again.
Like Lex Luthor, it’s a smart sauce that combines good taste with crafty pain. As Heatonist continues to champion itself new recipes of the Last Dab as hotter peppers are created, it’s a dead match for the villain who keeps coming up with more ways to engineer pain on the Man of Steel himself.
Cat’s Comparisons AKA The Way of Pain
Editor Chris here. Cat decided all of these comparisons in real time. Please witness this descent into heat induced madness!
Two Beekeepers Honey
My husband recommended I keep this on standby in case I needed something to dull the pain, and I’m glad he did! I ended up smothering two tortilla’s in it between Da Bomb and Garlic Reaper. It’s a great small business and they make delicious honey that is a good trick to calming down a mouth full of capesin.
Final Thoughts
You’re more than welcome to argue on Twitter with me, but as I was hyped up on hot sauce adrenaline when I made these comparison’s I won’t have much of an argument in my defense. Regardless, I highly recommend these sauces for fun or for flavor. If you do your own take, I’d love to see it!
Cat Purcell is a Career Services Librarian, cosplayer, artist, and massive coffee consumer.
