Itâs clone vs. clone vs. the real deal, and thatâs about all you need to know. Miles Morales is in deep in this reimagining (or is it just a rebranding?) of the Spider-Man clone saga for a new generation. Miles Morales: Spider-Man #28 is written by Saladin Ahmed, drawn by Carmen Carnero, colored by David Curiel, and lettered by Cory Petit.
Jude: Itâs the end of the clone saga and, wellâŠit was a thing that happened. And who better to help discuss the various things that happened with than my own evil twin clone. Everybody, welcome Judas Smith!
Judas: How did I become the evil one? Why am I the clone? Who gets to decide those things?
Jude: Youâve heard the proverb âonly when lions have historians will hunters cease being heroes?â Well, Iâm the historian. Besides, youâd have to be the evil one. You went to Howard. You cheer for the Falcons. Youâre actually excited about the Kanye album.
Judas: I never wore a MAGA hat though. Call me evil; donât call me a psychopath.
*Jude and Judas both slowly look at the camera, Zach Morris style*
Jude: ANYWAY. Miles Morales: Spider-Man #28. Thoughts?
Judas: It sucks. It’s bad. Actively bad.Offensively bad. Itâs a bunch of cliches wrapped in turkey bacon. Nothing is more evil than turkey bacon.
Jude: Fair point on turkey bacon, but still: is it that bad?
Judas: Yes! Yes it is. Jude, you know this. Youâve been saying as much for the past few months, diplomatically. Brother, just be honest. Itâs bad. Take this issue. What exactly happened here?
Jude: Well, Miles goes home to find his clone, SelimâŠ
Judas: They named the f**king clone Selim! Miles backwards! Come on, manâŠ
Jude: âŠI mean, Selim is a name, but I hear you. Anyway, Selim beats up Milesâ dad and steals his sister. He then sends a text to Miles (conveniently at the exact right time, because comics) to meet him at the Brooklyn Bridge. Selim gives his bad guy talk ©, and then fights Miles. The other two clones, Mindspinner and Shift, intervene, as it seems theyâve gotten some kind of conscience. Selim and Mindspinner end up blowing each other up (but of course, we donât see the bodies, because comics). Miles and Shift, who saved his sister, walk off into the moonlight, buddies and brothers. End scene. Thatâs it.
Judas: That’s literally it?
Jude: That’s literally it.
Judas: Jude, that sucked.
Jude: It wasâŠunderwhelming. It was disappointing. It was basic. It was not a challenge: not to me, a 38-year-old. Not to an 18-year-old. I suspect not to a 12-year-old, either. It just was not interesting. There was no nuance in Selimâs behavior; there was no real thought to his plans. Even though he knows Miles better than almost anyone else because he is Miles, his plan was something anyone could have drawn up. There was no internal conflict (save his use of âour” when talking about his parents); the dialogue was weak and uninspired. Miles didnât learn anything about himself from looking at the actions of his funhouse mirror self. He didnât grow. He wasnât challenged in a way that a fist fight couldnât solve.
This wasâŠfine, youâre right Judas, this was bad.
Judas: And itâs worse than just being bad! This is a waste of a good character and a good idea! Imagine if Miles was faced with a character that made him challenge his perspective on himself. Imagine if that idea that Selim might die – that he had 24 hours to live – meant that Selim had 24 hours to find meaning in his own life, as opposed to trying to recklessly take from Miles.
And theyâre cribbing from DC, too. (Name of clone) is basically Clayface x Bizzaro, in mannerisms, in appearance, hell, in origin. Tell me Iâm wrong. Tell me Iâm wrong!
Jude: YouâŠyouâre not wrong. Look, I know fan fiction must be annoying to creators. I know that critique based on reader fantasies, readers complaining because their fantasies (and the logic therein) werenât reflected on the page must be frustrating. Iâm not saying that my preferences (or Judasâ) should be gospel. But! That we could, off the cuff, come up with more original ideas is problematic! This story, this saga, is pointless! Itâs beneath the character! Itâs beneath the writer to be quite honest. Why are we even here!
Judas: Excellent. Youâre starting to sound like the evil clone now. Yes. Yes. Let the hate flow through you.
Jude: Whatever. At least Iâll be the better looking clone.
Judas: Cap.
Jude: Can we at least agree that the pages looked nice?
Judas: The art was dope enough. I liked the coloring. I liked the (all too brief) fight. I wish Carnero and Curiel (artist and colorist, respectively) were given more to work with. AlasâŠ
Jude: AlasâŠanyway, thatâs our review of Miles Morales: Spider-Man #28. If you donât read it, youâre not missing anythingâŠ
Judas: âŠat all.
Jude: At. All. There are better things to spend your money on this week. Maybe thatâll change next month.
Judas: You know it wonât.
Jude: I have hope; thatâs why Iâm the good one.
Judas: I donât, which is why Iâm the right one. Yet another thread that could have been explored that wasnât. Anyway, Itâs been a pleasure, Jude.
Jude: The pleasure was all mine, Judas.
A proud New Orleanian living in the District of Columbia, Jude Jones is a professional thinker, amateur photographer, burgeoning runner and lover of Black culture, love and life. Magneto and Cyclops (and Killmonger) were right. Learn more about Jude at SaintJudeJones.com.
