It’s clone vs. clone vs. the real deal, and that’s about all you need to know. Miles Morales is in deep in this reimagining (or is it just a rebranding?) of the Spider-Man clone saga for a new generation. Miles Morales: Spider-Man #28 is written by Saladin Ahmed, drawn by Carmen Carnero, colored by David Curiel, and lettered by Cory Petit.
Jude: It’s the end of the clone saga and, well…it was a thing that happened. And who better to help discuss the various things that happened with than my own evil twin clone. Everybody, welcome Judas Smith!
Judas: How did I become the evil one? Why am I the clone? Who gets to decide those things?
Jude: You’ve heard the proverb “only when lions have historians will hunters cease being heroes?” Well, I’m the historian. Besides, you’d have to be the evil one. You went to Howard. You cheer for the Falcons. You’re actually excited about the Kanye album.
Judas: I never wore a MAGA hat though. Call me evil; don’t call me a psychopath.
*Jude and Judas both slowly look at the camera, Zach Morris style*
Jude: ANYWAY. Miles Morales: Spider-Man #28. Thoughts?
Judas: It sucks. It’s bad. Actively bad.Offensively bad. It’s a bunch of cliches wrapped in turkey bacon. Nothing is more evil than turkey bacon.
Jude: Fair point on turkey bacon, but still: is it that bad?
Judas: Yes! Yes it is. Jude, you know this. You’ve been saying as much for the past few months, diplomatically. Brother, just be honest. It’s bad. Take this issue. What exactly happened here?
Jude: Well, Miles goes home to find his clone, Selim…
Judas: They named the f**king clone Selim! Miles backwards! Come on, man…
Jude: …I mean, Selim is a name, but I hear you. Anyway, Selim beats up Miles’ dad and steals his sister. He then sends a text to Miles (conveniently at the exact right time, because comics) to meet him at the Brooklyn Bridge. Selim gives his bad guy talk ©, and then fights Miles. The other two clones, Mindspinner and Shift, intervene, as it seems they’ve gotten some kind of conscience. Selim and Mindspinner end up blowing each other up (but of course, we don’t see the bodies, because comics). Miles and Shift, who saved his sister, walk off into the moonlight, buddies and brothers. End scene. That’s it.
Judas: That’s literally it?
Jude: That’s literally it.
Judas: Jude, that sucked.
Jude: It was…underwhelming. It was disappointing. It was basic. It was not a challenge: not to me, a 38-year-old. Not to an 18-year-old. I suspect not to a 12-year-old, either. It just was not interesting. There was no nuance in Selim’s behavior; there was no real thought to his plans. Even though he knows Miles better than almost anyone else because he is Miles, his plan was something anyone could have drawn up. There was no internal conflict (save his use of “our” when talking about his parents); the dialogue was weak and uninspired. Miles didn’t learn anything about himself from looking at the actions of his funhouse mirror self. He didn’t grow. He wasn’t challenged in a way that a fist fight couldn’t solve.
This was…fine, you’re right Judas, this was bad.
Judas: And it’s worse than just being bad! This is a waste of a good character and a good idea! Imagine if Miles was faced with a character that made him challenge his perspective on himself. Imagine if that idea that Selim might die – that he had 24 hours to live – meant that Selim had 24 hours to find meaning in his own life, as opposed to trying to recklessly take from Miles.
And they’re cribbing from DC, too. (Name of clone) is basically Clayface x Bizzaro, in mannerisms, in appearance, hell, in origin. Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me I’m wrong!
Jude: You…you’re not wrong. Look, I know fan fiction must be annoying to creators. I know that critique based on reader fantasies, readers complaining because their fantasies (and the logic therein) weren’t reflected on the page must be frustrating. I’m not saying that my preferences (or Judas’) should be gospel. But! That we could, off the cuff, come up with more original ideas is problematic! This story, this saga, is pointless! It’s beneath the character! It’s beneath the writer to be quite honest. Why are we even here!
Judas: Excellent. You’re starting to sound like the evil clone now. Yes. Yes. Let the hate flow through you.
Jude: Whatever. At least I’ll be the better looking clone.
Judas: Cap.
Jude: Can we at least agree that the pages looked nice?
Judas: The art was dope enough. I liked the coloring. I liked the (all too brief) fight. I wish Carnero and Curiel (artist and colorist, respectively) were given more to work with. Alas…
Jude: Alas…anyway, that’s our review of Miles Morales: Spider-Man #28. If you don’t read it, you’re not missing anything…
Judas: …at all.
Jude: At. All. There are better things to spend your money on this week. Maybe that’ll change next month.
Judas: You know it won’t.
Jude: I have hope; that’s why I’m the good one.
Judas: I don’t, which is why I’m the right one. Yet another thread that could have been explored that wasn’t. Anyway, It’s been a pleasure, Jude.
Jude: The pleasure was all mine, Judas.
A proud New Orleanian living in the District of Columbia, Jude Jones is a professional thinker, amateur photographer, burgeoning runner and lover of Black culture, love and life. Magneto and Cyclops (and Killmonger) were right.
Find more of Jude’s writing here.
