It’s “The First Eight Days,” and there is no sign of the genie-fueled apocalypse abating. Instead, our cast of characters must adjust to this new normal in unexpected ways. Eight Billion Genies #3 is written by Charles Soule, drawn by Ryan Browne and lettered by Chris Crank.
Mark Turetsky: Hey Will! It’s been eight days since we made our wishes. If you’ll recall, I wished to be slightly more impulsive. So I bought some Chris Claremont X-Men omnibuses that I probably didn’t need. How about you? How are you feeling about your wish for this comic?
Will Nevin: SWEET MOTHER OF GOD ABOVE, THE STARS ARE CRYING ACID TEARS, AND THE TREE IN MY FRONT YARD JUST BIT OFF MY ARM.
Other than that, Mark, I think things are pretty good, and I feel content with the decisions I’ve made in life.
DEAR SWEET JESUS, THE CUL DE SAC IS NOW A LAKE OF LAVA. AND THERE ARE ROCK MONSTERS CRAWLING OUT OF IT. I WISH I HAD WISHED FOR SOMETHING MORE USEFUL, BUT AT LEAST MY LAST FEW MOMENTS IN THIS REALM WILL HAVE SOME AMUSEMENT FROM THIS COMIC.
Mark: Right up front, I’d like to apologize to all of our readers: Last issue, I mistook writer Dorothy Parker for fictional character Dorothy Zbornak from The Golden Girls. I’m not sure if this reflects more poorly on my literacy or my feminism. Mea culpa.
Will: Well, shit, I kinda want a Golden Girl in the comic now. But I’m definitely out of wishes at this point.
Mark: There’s the upcoming Golden Rage, also from Image. It’s Golden Girls meets Battle Royale.
So, after eight hours, we’ve got nearly 2 billion people dead. And with the scope of this issue expanding from hours to days, we’re starting to see people coming to terms with the world as it is now. That’s the theme throughout the whole issue. We start with a climate researcher in Antarctica making a truly noble use of his wish in solving the climate crisis, but, well … that’s not the biggest crisis going on here.
Will: And from a narrative perspective, that was a great little story to illustrate the point that this world has fundamentally changed — and that it is an absolute disaster. I didn’t know that “genie apocalypse” could be a possible genre, yet we’ve got it right here. But it feels realistic, doesn’t it? At least to the extent it could be real. Some people would wish for incredibly destructive things, like the car-a-saurus we saw in the last issue. And others would opt for becoming vampires.
Some people, Mark, just want to watch the world burn.
Mark: And I think this is fundamentally a transitional issue. Our characters have begun, I wouldn’t say to let go of the world as it was, but at least to start planning for the new world. Thanks to Wang, we get an idea of what life is like outside the Lampwick. He goes on a mini-Odyssey to complete his mission at the Lamplighter and return to the bar.
As you said, there’s a vampire, but there’s also his haunting encounter with Jerome, a man who wished for youth in the early moments of the Geniepocalypse, and now just wants to get to his family. It’s reminiscent of one of those Italian Westerns, where the world is fundamentally dangerous, and even our heroes have to be somewhat cutthroat in their outlook.
Will: This is a cuter, sillier, weirder zombie story. Of course you can’t stop to help anybody. That’s just asking for trouble. Thematically, this was a big issue, but also we got a bit of explanation for how the new world works, including the fact that if a human dies without making a wish, their genie disappears and, more importantly, if someone wishes someone into existence, they persist only as long as the wisher remains alive. And that last thing has some real consequences.
Mark: The genies refer to the residual wishes as “remnants.” And the rules as explained here open up a pretty intriguing possibility: except for those who wish for immortality (or are punished by someone else wishing for their immortality), everyone is going to die eventually. So that means that their wishes will eventually revert to the norm. So would we be left with a world where everyone is dead, but other than that everything’s normal?
Will: If the genies are a result of us hitting that big 8 billion people mark, it would make sense if that’s the way this all plays out — a clean, post-apocalyptic fresh start for the planet. And that would also be a reasonable enough place to leave the series, since by my figuring, the final issue will be 800 years into the future.
But weirdly enough, this book hasn’t gotten super dark when it easily could have. Robbie — being a kid and all — could have easily doomed both of his parents to immortality, yet he chose to be a superhero. Interesting decision to explore the real disasters that happen when you give a planet full of people a little bit of magic but not get incredibly depressing with it.
Mark: It’s taken us three issues, but finally: This has become a superhero comic. How long will that last, though? Maybe eight weeks? Tops?
Will: This is a story of escalation, right? Someone will want to be a supervillain.
Mark: And the most important place in the world right now is the Lampwick, what with its protective aura. What happens if Will Williams dies?
Will: Here’s what Williams asked for back in issue #1: “I wish that no wish made outside this bar can affect this bar or anyone or anything inside it.” That certainly doesn’t include language like “for all time.” And while these genies haven’t been complete stinkers, you could absolutely see the Lampwick’s wish shield falling within the logic of this world.
Mark: I guess it depends on if remnants are specifically wished-for people or any wished-for effect. TIME WILL TELL.
8 Billion Things We Couldn’t Fit Anywhere Else
- Mark’s favorite visual gag: the superheroes fighting off the McDonaldland cast. Runner-up: Wang’s contact’s “I heart Crime” tattoo.
- Will’s favorite existential gag: When someone asks whether Parker, Ernest Hemingway and Jim Morrison are real, a genie retorts: “Are you [real]?”
Mark Turetsky
Will Nevin loves bourbon and AP style and gets paid to teach one of those things. He is on Twitter far too often.
