Haven House has a powerful and unexpected set of houseguests, and the Louisiana X-Men are not feeling very hospitable. Meanwhile, the Outliers are stranded in a landscape they can’t understand, under the watchful mentorship of one of the X-Men’s most powerful foes. All this, plus a death at Graymalkin Prison causes violent chaos for guards and inmates alike. Uncanny X-Men #29 is written by Gail Simone, drawn by Luciano Vecchio, colored by Matt Wilson and lettered by Clayton Cowles.
Adam Reck: [Popping sound] Hey Austin, you want some of this?
Austin Gorton: Whatcha got there?
Adam: Champagne! A toast to the end of the worst idea this volume of Uncanny had to offer — Graymalkin Prison is no more!
Austin: Cheers! Did it end abruptly and somewhat arbitrarily? Yes! But it ended.
Monet to the rescue!
Adam: Last issue, Podcaster Ellis’ brother Perimeter who we’d never heard of turned out to be Inmate X and the fifth Avian. As we start this issue, he has possessed Scurvy’s body, mind controlled the Graymalkin inmates and continues to do whatever he’s doing with the Nawlins X-Men and the Outliers. Dude is busy.
Luckily, we have the super-powerful Monet here to save the day! Turns out, she chose to stay behind bars in case of just such an emergency. How did this “insider” retcon sit with you?
Austin: It’s honestly the best possible outcome for her story, and almost the best possible outcome for the story, one of those turns that isn’t exactly surprising but retroactively helps make sense of things. That the reason the X-Men weren’t just angrily burning Graymalkin Prison to the ground is because they needed to give it enough rope to hang itself and, in the meantime, put someone on the inside to keep an eye on things/help it along, is a darn sight better than “Rogue couldn’t be bothered to shut down an unjust, illegal mutant prison because she was too busy giving Gambit cutesy nicknames.”
That said, I say it’s “almost” the best outcome for the whole story because it seems like all the other mutants in the prison, including notably Siryn, weren’t plants. Meaning, a whole bunch of mutants and friends of the X-Men were made to suffer longer because of a plan Rogue adopted. Then again, heroes don’t need to be perfect, and as long as the consequences of Rogue’s decision are addressed, it should work out fine.
Adam: This issue starts with one of my biggest pet peeves — a character pausing to deliver a literary quote. In this case we have podcaster Ellis sharing a statement often attributed to Dostoevsky and even noting the dispute over its attribution. This always drives me nuts. Ellis is literally running for her life from a psychic murder corpse — she’s not going to stop to have this introspective moment about the sociological meaning behind what she’s done.
This issue is filled with moments like this one where it tries to retcon in a much more thoughtful and nuanced story about what was happening in Graymalkin (Monet’s insider status being another example) that’s totally different from what was actually on the page.
Austin: I’ve seen Simone cite Dostoevsky and that specific quote as her inspiration for the Graymalkin Prison arc, and while I can appreciate her wanting to work it into the story, it doesn’t work, both in the moment (when Podcaster Ellis is running for her life) or as an expression of Ellis, who only seems to have developed a conscience about the way she’s been running her mutant prison in the last two issues, once her brother broke out and started terrorizing the place. She is exactly the wrong person to serve as the voice of Simone’s thoughts/criticisms about the carceral state, because Podcaster Ellis has received no notable development to justify her sudden change from “pro” to “anti”.
Die, A.I. scum!
Adam: We cut to Mutina stabbing Colossu-Magik as she shouts “Die, A.I. Scum!”
I think anyone who knows me knows how much I despise AI. I hate what it’s doing to creators, the environment, the economy, you name it. So while I heartily endorse the sentiment of this instantly meme-able panel, I do have to ask yet again how it makes any sense in the context of this story. It remains totally unclear where the Outliers are or what about their otherworldly foes are artificial intelligence when Perimeter is a psychic foe.
Did this make any sense to you?
Austin: No, it didn’t, and it feels very much like Simone had to rush to wrap up the prison arc and just kind of handwaved away the circumstances around which much of the previous issues were built. I guess if we think of AI less in “evil robot” terms and more like any kind of autonomous consciousness, then assuming these S-Men (and the evil New Mutants) are all psychic projections created by Oscar but then left to operate autonomously, without his direct control over their actions, they could count as AI.
Which is to say, it sure seems like Simone just wanted to work an anti-AI screed into the story, which I can support.
That said, with this marking the end of the story, we still know almost nothing about the mechanics of the entire Outliers/New Mutants plot. Where, physically, were the Outliers when fighting the S-Men? Why did Oscar decide to take them there, make them act like the New Mutants, then fight some zombie Sentinels while dropping some fake New Mutants in their place back in Louisiana? How does he even know about the original New Mutants, down to details Jubilee can recognize like how Karma’s face looks before she starts to possess people (more on that later)? Is that part of the “AI”? He created a being and said, “act like Karma” and … somehow it did?
I’m all for finally addressing and resolving the Graymalkin Prison arc, but it really feels like this story took a swerve halfway in and became about that and just left everything set up in the first half dangling. Hopefully we’ll get some fallout/follow-up in future issues.
Cameos, attack!
Adam: As we’ve seen the very talented Vecchio do so well in books like Resurrection of Magneto or Uncanny #20-21, this issue is packed with background cameos of mutants imprisoned by Ellis. I could only ID about half of them. How did you fare?
Austin: I was doing OK till we got to the ¾ splash on Page 16. There’s Fawn, Gaunt and Wild Child from earlier in the issue, and Omega Red. Then someone who looks like Sebastian Shaw and Dazzler, presumably. But there’s some purple-y headed people, including one with one eye and another with big eyebrow horns, who are a complete mystery to me.
Adam: I know I saw Johnny Dee in there — which is a deeeeep cut from The 198. Most notably, we get appearances from Quicksilver and Banshee. The former seems to be in league with Monet, though I’m unclear why. The latter is reunited with Siryn and asked why he didn’t show up before? Banshee claims he “wasn’t sure she wanted him to?” Weak.
Austin: Quicksilver and Monet became a romantic couple in the “Fall of X” Uncanny Avengers miniseries, which is why he’s involved (she had a picture of him in her cell).
Adam: Ah, Fall of X. Definitely did not read that particular mini, and I highly disapprove of them as a couple. Ew! (Monet can do better, come on.)
Austin: Banshee’s exchange with Siryn is odd. I suppose the idea is, she would be mad at him for not busting her out sooner?
Adam: I know I would be! I still have so many questions at the end of this thing. Most notably: What is in the Inmate X cell? If Perimeter is psychically possessing Scurvy’s corpse, would Wolverine stabbing said corpse through the head prevent Perimeter from possessing another body? Isn’t Perimeter’s actual body still in the Inmate X cell?
Austin: Yeah, I’m not quite sure how any of this works. The idea was that Perimeter is out because Scurvy died, and while Wolverine killed his host, Scurvy is still dead, so what’s keeping Perimeter from possessing someone else?
Adam: Exactly! Second question: The excuse given for letting Graymalkin remain open this whole time was for Monet and Quicksilver to release evidence to create a “scandal” against Ellis so that the prisons can’t be “franchised.” Given that it was very clear what Ellis was doing from the outside, that Graymalkin was a federally funded prison, and that no official entities made any move to shut it down, what possible evidence could have come out of Graymalkin and who would it be presented to for that to happen?
Austin: I think the idea is meant to be that Monet has been documenting the abuses being leveled against the prisoners (with Quicksilver scooting in and out with information). There’s been a lot of talk in Monet’s previous appearances, reiterated here, about the lack/quality of the food, for example, and in her sudden onrush of conscience, Podcaster Ellis seems to be realizing she’s been keeping the prisoners in vaguely bad conditions.
Assuming that’s the case, the question I have is why Rogue or any other X-Men would think anyone would care, let alone that evidence of such would be enough to shut the place down? Like, if it’s a prison just for mutants and the general notion in the world of the Marvel Universe is “people don’t like mutants,” why would people care if mutants are being treated badly in their prison? Some people, sure — this run has made a point of highlighting folks like MacKenzie DeNeer and the New Orleans mayor as people who aren’t stereotypical anti-mutant bigots. But barring a seismic public outcry, I find it hard to believe the “let’s build mutant-exterminating robots” government would pull its support for the prison on the grounds of “the food is bad.” And if that is what we’re being asked to buy, then we definitely needed more effort put into highlighting the atrocities going on at the prison.
Adam: Given that here in the real world, no amount of overwhelming evidence seems to make a dent in the stark hell of actual detention centers, it’s definitely a stretch. To your point about food, it’s really funny to me that after the liberation, everyone is asked to calmly report to the mess hall for pizza instead of, I dunno, LEAVING THE BUILDING?!
But I guess it wouldn’t be an arc of Uncanny Vol. 6 without us scratching our heads a little bit. At the end of the day, I am ultimately glad to be rid of a very bad idea. No more Graymalkin Prison means more room for Simone to stretch her legs and not be beholden to this albatross.
Austin: Agreed. Her best material in this book has had nothing to do with that plotline, so as abrupt as the ending is, I am more than happy to put it in the rear view and let her cook on other stuff.
Adam: I’ll toast to that!
X-traneous Thoughts
- You can find an interesting exploration of the origins of the “spurious” Dostoevsky attribution by Princeton University’s Ilya Vinitsky here.
- Monet’s codename for Rogue is “Sherlock.” Rogue’s mother, Mystique, is Sherlock Holmes in the 616.
- Quicksilver is “Lestrade,” which, given he’s typically presented as a more bumbling figure consistently outdone by Holmes, is pretty funny.
- Banshee’s Irish to Siryn translates to “I’m sorry. Now my dear, your father is here. I’m here.”
- More Jubilee content is always appreciated, but how in the world does Jubilee know Karma well enough to be able to recognize the facial expression she adopts shortly before using her power? Have the two ever even been in the same panel of a comic book together before?
- Nightcrawler’s confidence that Wolverine couldn’t kill him even if he tried/as he was trying was a fun moment.
- Last issue I totally missed that Mutina was able to combine her individual swords into one giant Final Fantasy-sized, Soulsword-lookin’ blade. Cool accessorizing or another part of Mutina’s growing power set?
- Despite Banshee appearing to tear Ellis’ helicopter to pieces, Monet indicates Ellis is still alive.
- It sure feels like this Graymalkin Prison arc has been going on forever, but if you take out the Unbreakable X-Men deviation, as well as the “X-Manhunt” crossover and the non-Uncanny issues of “Raid on Graymalkin” (assuming Simone wanted to do a version of that story without it being a crossover), all of which sure seem like they were foisted on the title and stretched out whatever outline Simone had, and account for the fact that this book double ships every other month (on average), it’s actually not that long of a time for a storyline to percolate in terms of actual months.
Buy Uncanny X-Men #29 here. (Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate, ComicsXF may earn from qualifying purchases.)
Adam Reck is the cartoonist behind Bish & Jubez as well as the co-host of Battle Of The Atom. Follow him @adamreck.bsky.social.
Austin Gorton also reviews older issues of X-Men at the Real Gentlemen of Leisure website, co-hosts the A Very Special episode podcast, and likes Star Wars. He lives outside Minneapolis, where sometimes, it is not cold. Follow him @austingorton.bsky.social.
