Let’s meet a bunch of animals in The Union #3 by Paul Grist, Andrea Di Vito, Le Beau Underwood, Nolan Woodard, and Travis Lanham.
Nola Pfau: What better birthday present is there for both of us than more Snakes content?
Liz Large: We DESERVE this.
NP: We do! I mean I guess some other stuff happened? But like, Snakes.
LL: I’m sure other things happened too. But Snakes: definitely the most important.
Getting The Band Back Together
NP: I was actually sort of unclear on the timeline for part of this issue? I thought it had jumped back to before the team had been assembled for a couple of pages, but no, it was just about…reassembling a new team? Except maybe the same old team. Either way, things seem bad for Choir, but also her cyborg throat modifications are extremely cool looking.
LL: Yeah, since we know nothing about Choir’s past, I didn’t instinctively grasp when exactly things were happening in the opening. She continues to look very cool, and also manages to stop a robbery using nothing but her own scarf. This scene is very super-hero to me– she’s in hiding and trying not to draw attention, but her conscience won’t allow her to stand by while someone’s in danger, even if it means alerting someone to her location.
NP: Yeah, I really liked that! The way the shop owner reacted too kinda caught me. Outside of X-Men the Marvel Universe is usually so generally pro-superhero, that to see a shopkeep kind of falter when he realizes who/what she is was interesting. I like that kind of thing, it gives more…texture, I guess.
LL: Good point– with the exception of Britannia (RIP), every hero we’re getting in this series is getting a negative reaction from the people they interact with. Which in some cases is probably fair, but it’s a real departure for a non-mutant hero. We get to meet another misfit in this issue: Bulldog, who didn’t make the original cut for the team because he doesn’t play well with others. He introduces himself by starting a fight with Union Jack in his apartment, which is another hero stereotype that he is actively leaning into.
NP: Leaning into, but also kind of misunderstanding! Like obviously Bulldog is a little too violent to be a himbo but he’s kind of got that level of cluelessness going on—he forgot that the the whole narrative where heroes fight before teaming up is usually due to a misunderstanding, and not just “for the hell of it.” For someone who doesn’t play well with others, he’s very endearing, unlike, apparently, Union Jack. I have to confess, I’m still not super clear on why the rest of his team can’t stand him, or why they feel so much loyalty to each other, but not him. Is it really just his dealings with their team sponsors?
LL: Look, if my options for a team up were Choir, Kelpie, Snakes, and Union Jack, I also would choose Union Jack last. He’s the least cool option here, plus he’s basically management. I get that he’s in a rough position with both the team and the government, and it’s not his fault. At the same time, the others all seem to have more….interesting backstories regarding their powersets and how they came to be affiliated with the team. It makes sense that they’d gravitate towards each other. And it is nice to see that despite saying they were done with the team, Kelpie and Snakes are back to investigate what may have happened to Choir.
SNAKE TIME SNAKE TIME
NP: AND SPEAKING OF SNAKES. Remember waaaaay back before Empyre when the first teasers for The Union dropped and we were talking about Snakes and what we hoped was his deal?
LL: It’s been so long, but I’ve thought about this mystery so much! We have been waiting since FEBRUARY 18, 2020. That was an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT WORLD. A sad, snakeless world. One where we joked about who or what snakes could be. A large snake/man hybrid? Someone who simply likes the theme?
NP: Over a year! But finally our patience has paid off, and we discover exactly what that mystery is. Snakes…is snakes. Just a giant mass of telepathic snakes in a trenchcoat/superhero costume. I love him so much.
LL: I honestly lost it at this page. A shapeshifting villain, in gorilla form, is trying to rip our snake hero in half, and instead he just separates the clothing and has snakes rain down on his head. Is this the best sequence in comics? Probably!
NP: We are but simple women, and we have simple needs; a large mass of snakes masquerading as a person. A serpentine superhero. A slithering savior! What I’m saying is we need a Snakes ongoing by the end of the Summer.
LL: Just a bunch of speech bubbles yelling “SNAKES!” and “I AM SNAKES!!”. I love it. I would have enjoyed just a tiny bit more reaction from the other people in the area. Aside from the villain, who is just having a bad time all around, I need to see the reaction of a random civilian to this. Please.
NP: Everyone does seem kind of chill about it? I guess we haven’t seen enough of the team to know what their downtime is like, or how much they know about each other, and I suppose they would have figured out this particular detail about Snakes prior to this point. But you’re right, the only thing that would’ve made this scene better would be some bystanders, as they watch the UK’s greatest hero ever revealed. A shame. But there’s still time, I suppose! Anyway, should we talk about the last thing?
There’s A Villain We Should Talk About I Guess
LL: In addition to whatever predators normally go after snakes, there’s a few other elements in play for our hero and his sidekicks. After being showered in Snakes, our villain Shifter looks a little panicked! In what looks like a moment of pity, Selwyn lets himself be taken hostage. He literally talks Shifter through the process of grabbing him by the neck and getting him into a nearby car. For a minute, I thought this was going to be a recruitment attempt!
NP: It was such a strange thing to do! Like, I get the idea of being empathetic to win someone’s trust during a hostage situation, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a negotiator be like “here, take me hostage, that’ll help!” Then again, it seems like Selwyn’s got some secrets. Non-snake related secrets, but I’m trying not to hold that against him.
LL: It turns out that Selwyn was formerly the super villain known as…The Sponge. Look, I’ll be honest with you: if a year ago Marvel had released a silhouette image of this old dude with the caption “He’s here to clean up the mess: The Sponge” I would absolutely be a Sponge stan now. His powers are actually pretty neat– by being in the area with someone with powers, he can drain them for himself.
NP: Yeah, we’ve seen power-stealing before, but usually, like with Rogue, it requires touch, not just proximity. I guess the closest I can think of is the Superman villain, Parasite, but I don’t know of any in the Marvel Universe. I’m kinda curious about him now. What does he do with those powers when he absorbs them, besides his eyes turning a creepy red? Is he a shapeshifter now? Is it permanent or temporary? There are so many questions!
LL: I have a lot of questions about the third villain in this issue: Doc Croc. He’s the one who was after Choir, Shifter was working for him and The Sponge™ used to work for him before switching to a more traditional job. His plan is completely a mystery at this time, but all we know is that he wants Choir, and she is afraid of him.
NP: Yeah, he seems bad. And also not very croc-like! Maybe the “Croc” in his name isn’t a reference to any kind of crocodile-based powers, maybe he just has a reputation for comfortable footwear. Either way, he’s in a tux, his hair’s slicked back, he’s got a flower, and he speaks Welsh. I looked up what he says to Choir there and it’s “my little love,” or something to that effect, which is pretty creepy.
LL: Cut to me googling “who wins in fight crocodile or a whole bunch of snakes with a shared brain” repeatedly until the next issue comes out. (Don’t actually google it, google is full of gross pictures.) But seriously, this issue was my favorite so far, and only 80% because of the Snakes is snakes reveal.
NP: I’m kind of surprised how dense this issue is. There really was a lot here and it makes me all the more disappointed that this is a five-issue mini, because I want an ongoing. Give me this and Excalibur crossing over, having a kind of weird professional rivalry! I feel like Captain Britain and Union Jack would definitely butt heads, and I can only imagine what happens when Gambit starts running his mouth in front of Kelpie.
LL: We’ve got two more issues! It’s not too late to see Pete Wisdom meet Snakes!
Snakes?
- Snakes
- Snakes!
- SNAAAAAKES!!
