Summa Marvelogica: Knull vs The Batman Who Laughs

Unearthed from the Summa Marvelogica, 13th century saint and philosopher Thomas Aquinas brings us answers to the most pressing questions of our day. In this piece, he looks at both Knull, the King In Black, and The Batman Who Laughs as they relate to each other and to the current comics landscape as a whole.

Q. 1061 Whether Knull or the Batman-Who-Laughs would win in a fight?

Objection 1. Given Knull’s access to a universal army of symbiotes, dragon monsters, and All-Black (The Necrosword), Knull’s resources vastly outstrip those of the Batman-Who-Laughs, and thus he would easily win any conflict.

Objection 2. Even if the conflict were restricted to sole combatants, Knull possesses ancient and vast cosmic powers which rival those of the Celestials; the Batman-Who-Laughs is merely a man.

Sed Contra, As BattleBoardBeef90210 has written: “Superman? Of course Batman could beat Superman. Goku? Not a chance. Galactus? Squirrel Girl? The Anti-Monitor? Creepy Garfield? With enough time and preparation, Batman could attack and dethrone God.” The Batman-Who-Laughs is a Batman, and thus could defeat Knull.

I answer that, The powerful beings known only equivocally as “gods” only seem omnipotent, only seem utterly beyond the grasp of humanity. Indeed, throughout history, the self-proclaimed immortal has often fallen to the mortal. Consider the deeds of the conqueror Conan, of the Black Panther, of Gor, The Godbutcher, of Doctor Doom; consider Batman’s own conflict with Darkseid of the New Gods. Gods are often felled by ungodly hands.

We must ask not whether a mere man could conquer any god, and instead ask what is required for a man to conquer a god, and whether such a characteristic or characteristics are to be found per essentia in the Batman-Who-Laughs. In the conflicts between mortal and immortal, it seems that rather than incredible power, it is either a vast intellect or an iron will that may win the day. All Batmen possess not one, but both of these characteristics. Thus we may conclude that the Batman-Who-Laughs, belonging to the genus of “Batmen,” could defeat the “god” Knull.

Reply to Objection 1: With sufficient preparation time, the Batman-Who-Laughs could discern the weaknesses of these resources, such as fire and sonics. Further, the Batman-Who-Laughs has access to a Dark Multiverse of cruel Batmen; in time, he could himself build an army composed of individuals each of which would be capable of (with enough preparation time) destroying Knull themselves.

Reply to Objection 2: Batmen have previously defeated cosmic beings, and Knull’s own cosmic power is not infinite; indeed, Knull has succumbed to a weakened Silver Surfer’s power cosmic, itself a power that can be tracked and stolen by unpowered individuals. 

Q. 1062 Whether Knull or The Batman Who Laughs is the most conceivably “Heavy Metal” character in comics?’

Objection 1. It is known that The King in Black is “the coolest, darkest, most Heavy Metal, Cthulhu-dark horror thing,” and thus by extension its primary character, Knull, must not only be the coolest, darkest, Cthulhu-dark horror thing, but also the most Heavy Metal character conceivable. 

Objection 2. Very few things are as twisted and dark and damaged as the Joker, or cool as The Batman, and it is known that The Batman Who Laughs isn’t “just […]Batman Jokerized […]this is something darker than both of them individually and something brand new,” which is also “kind of rock ‘n’ roll.” As he is extremely twisted, cool, and rock ‘n’ roll, he must be the most Heavy Metal character conceivable. 

Sed Contra, as LiefeldR00L3Z6969Nice has written, “dude, like, what if ‘Back the Comeback’ like really took off, and, dude, what if we got a new DC VS Marvel, and, and, DUDE, what if we got a new Amalgam Universe?! Dude.”  

I answer that, neither is the most conceivable Heavy Metal character, for each has characteristics which are properly called “Heavy Metal” and which the other lacks. While the  Batman-Who-Knulls is not an extant being, he is a conceivable being; and indeed, if Knull used his symbiotic technology and power cosmic to transform himself into a divine symbiote; and further, if the Batman-Who-Laughs wore this symbiote, such that each spike on his face was a Necro-Spike, and such that his chest was emblazoned with a Dragon-Bat; and, further still, if he controlled an army of Robin-Carnages; then together they would indeed by the most Heavy Metal, far more Heavy Metal than might be able to exist in this world, but not more Heavy Metal than we can conceive in our minds.

Reply to Objections: Spikes and Goo are, collectively, more Heavy Metal than Spikes or Goo individually. 

Thomas Aquinas

Thomas Aquinas is a 13th century theologian, philosopher, and poet who occasionally writes for the Xavier Files Media Empire. His work may be previously found in the Xavier FilesZine, or ontwitter.