Why, Will: Let Stan Lee rest

Heroes die. We must be ready to let them go.

The Splash

Stanley Martin Lieber was born Dec. 28, 1922.

He died Nov. 12, 2018.

In the 95 years in between, Stan Lee was an entertainer, a creator, a publisher, an entrepreneur, a charmer, a bit of a grifter, a figurehead, a lovable scamp and so many other things. But in his later years and especially after the death of his wife, he became what so many elderly people (and especially those with wealth) become: a victim. Advisers drained him of hundreds of thousands. Metaphorical bloodsuckers became literal ones when the ghouls started marketing tacky merchandise signed with his blood. Whatever you think of the man and the commercial endeavors he undertook/grabbed too much credit for perhaps, his end was sad and exploitative. 

Almost two years later, that end is still unfolding, and it is as unseemly as it ever was.

On Friday, his Twitter account, @theRealStanLee, tweeted promotional art for “Superhero Kindergarten,” an animated kids’ show set to hit Amazon Prime next year. It shows Lee in a mask, the herald of wisdom during a pandemic he never saw, and thirst tags Arnold Schwarzenegger, one of the voice talents for the show marking a new nadir in his career. It also touts the show as “one of the final projects Stan worked on,” a label with probably only the smallest grain of truth.

Absent the other context, the message of mask wearing is a fine and good one, although this gets dangerously close to some noxious fart-sniffing virtue signaling. But couple that with the promotion of the show and the continued appropriation of Lee and his good will in the comics community and it becomes a hollow, meaningless thing.

Lee was a complicated figure, reduced in his own lifetime to a mere commodity. 

That commodification should end now.    

Letters Home in a Time of Joker War

Dear Ferdinand,

We feel abandoned, my Ferdy. And times are as dark as they have ever been. But my love for you endures as surely as Gotham is forever under the threat of a total and unrelenting takeover from one villain or another or a whole group of villains. (Thankfully in this case it is only the Joker.)

We are abandoned not only by Batman — who I hear is under the influence of some Super Ultra Joker Gas Which Is Much Worse Than The Regular Joker Gas — but also by the police, who are now controlled by the Joker and are obeying the orders of a mad man…for reasons, I suppose. Why, my Ferdy, in a saga dominated by one man’s vigilante war on crime, do the police not act in their conscience as masked clowns indiscriminately murder in the street? The question vexes me, my love, and weighs heavy on my mind. 

While I have not seen Batman, I hear of his travels and torments. After he attacked Joker’s headquarters in Wayne Tower before succumbing to the Super Ultra gas, I’ve heard he’s been lured to the Monarch Theatre to battle what have been described to me as “zombies.” Oh, Ferdy, it’s terrible — do you remember a time when Gotham wasn’t some tired science fiction trope? Neither do I, my love.

Our lone hero is the mysterious Clownhunter, who kills clowns. That is all I know about him, and I have no other reason to care.

I hope this time passes soon, my Ferdy. I grow weary.

Ever yours,

Ernest 

P.S.—Harley Quinn is good now. That is a respite I appreciate.   

Sectional Maundering

“Maunder,” verb, to talk in a rambling matter

I’m usually not one to board the “comics are too expensive” train, but “Pulp,” the widely acclaimed graphic novel by Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips, is…well, too expensive. At 76 pages (which is well and truly stretching the definition of “graphic novel”) with a $16.99 cover price, that comes out to $0.22 per page, which doesn’t seem bad until you consider the per-page price of other Image books such as “Ice Cream Man” #20 ($0.10), “Hedra” ($0.11) and “Gideon Falls” #23 ($0.13). Comparing it only to Brubaker/Phillips stuff, “My Heroes Have Always Been Junkies,” a book billed as the pair’s “first original graphic novel,” came out to a much more reasonable $10.99/$0.14 per page, but “Bad Weekend” is in the more expensive neighborhood at $13.99/$0.20, so I’m not quite sure what the strategy is here. Since they’re doing more of these (but at a longer page count, apparently), I hope they get the pricing right.    

***

Ever find yourself in a weird internet spiral? I’m minding my own business on Twitter a few days ago, and someone posted a screenshot of a Windows Vista-era Games folder. That got me thinking about the version of Texas Hold ’Em that was bundled with the super special Ultimate Edition — it wasn’t a particularly stunning game, but it had the Windows aesthetics without any ads or other garbage, which made it better than 98% of other PC poker games. Vista Ultimate was the *only* edition of Windows to ever come with Hold ’Em — if you upgraded to Windows 7 (like many people did as quickly as possible since Vista was slow and dumb), the game was removed.

And that’s where I found the story of George Psychoyos.

In my googling to see if I could find some resurrected version of Hold ’Em for Windows, I found a Microsoft forum post from Dec. 15, 2009, from George complaining that the game had been deleted when he upgraded. His post begins: “I am a 77-year-old widower. At this stage of my life, one of the few enjoyments I get, is from my PC. And when I am in a state of complete boredom, I get tremendous pleasure from my Microsoft Games.” He explains the problem, and eventually leaves his personal email address (which was removed, presumably to protect George from himself) and phone number (which was not removed — weird rules you got there, Microsoft moderators).

And then I google “George Psychoyos” because I’m curious what became of him and that’s a weird enough surname that I know something will turn up.

“George N. Psychoyos, 80, Harrison [New York], died 01-19-2013,” reads his barren obituary, published about two years after his final reply on his original forum post.

He probably never found the hacked files that let you install Hold ’Em for Windows. But I like to think that somewhere, he’s clicking up a storm, betting against the NPC poker chumps and winning the biggest virtual pots of his life.

And a few PCs down, there’s my grandmother, still playing Solitaire.     

And Now, Your Questions

Tweet me (@willnevin) or just scream at me with some stupid thing you want answered. If you don’t ask me questions, I’ll find you and beg you for them. Don’t make me beg. 

@BigDadEnergy_: What superhero should wear a jacket more often?

@asimov_fangirl: Hi! Why jackets look so good in superheroes? Could they be the “new” capes? PS. Thanks for answering my question, I really enjoy your answer 

Is this a Xavier Files bit? If it’s a bit, you have to tell me — those are the rules.

But assuming no shenanigans in play, I’d say most jacket looks are cool as hell. Suit jackets, bombers, trench coats, leather — they all look good. And, yes, @asimov_fangirl: Let’s declare that capes are out, and jackets are in.  

As far as who should wear one more often, I’m going to go with Wonder Woman — something like this but without such a focus on her…chest area.

PS — I hope that answer was enjoyable. Thanks. 

@brawl2099: What underdeveloped character (from any series or universe) would you like to see take the spotlight? Also what genre do you think has been most under represented in comics in the last twenty years? And how would you help that genre make a comeback?

I’m going to go bigger than one character and go with a whole property: Star Trek. It’s downright criminal how little IDW has done/is doing with the license — aside from a Kelvin timeline ongoing (which has the stink of “Into Darkness” on it, therefore making it dead to me), there’s been nothing but miniseries after miniseries. (“Star Trek: Year Five” is only going to #24; that’s just a supersized maxi.) Could you imagine Marvel going *years* without a signature “Star Wars” series? It’s preposterous. So I’d like a real Trek series — one that reaches 50, 60, 70+ issues and covers any number of the franchise’s properties. 

As far as genres go, think about what we have plenty of: Superheroes are done to death. Brubaker/Phillips have crime and noir on lockdown. Hill House was a solid attempt at a line of horror comics, and Vault is putting out great stuff there and in science fiction. If you’re looking for satire and comedy, AHOY is for you. So, what does that leave? Sports. While this is an area manga has been exploring for decades, American publishers have been behind because…English audiences aren’t interested? Doubtful. So let’s do a big, splashy football book that focuses its attention almost exclusively on the field (“Southern Bastards” is more a social book that dabbles in football. Also, its artist is an abuser.) and gets across the ecstasy of winning and the agony of defeat.  

Now seems like a good time to launch since a football comic might be the closest thing we get to football in 2020.

@paulconstant: I would love to read an article identifying the ideal issue to stop reading Cerebus. (cc @willnevin)

This question was my introduction to “Cerebus,” the story of the titular aardvark that ran from December 1977 until March 2004, and I’m not sure if I can even approach something of an answer right now since there are 6,000 pages to go over in a series that (and I’m cribbing from Wikipedia here) began as a sword-and-sorcery parody before touching on political satire, comedy, drama and eventually theology. By the tenor of your question, Paul (excellent work on “Planet of the Nerds,” by the way — we always kiss up to creators who write in questions), I’m assuming the series simply loses the thread at some point in that evolution, or as what Wikipedia calls, “Cerebus Syndrome,” the shift “[w]hen a series in any medium, initially comedic or superficial, gradually becomes more serious, complex and dramatic.” 

By my count, I have approximately 1,200 pages of the series that are available on comiXology. (Where are the rest?) I read the first issue. 

That counts for something, right?

Your ‘Why, Will’ Weekly Planner

Today, Monday, Aug. 10: Will today be the end of this fall’s college football season? Or tomorrow? In either case, I’m sure decision makers will only have the health and safety of athletes in mind and certainly not the money they stand to lose if they don’t push forward in spite of logic, decency and basic humanity. (Lookin’ at you, SEC.)   

Tuesday: “Dark Knights: Death Metal” #3 (because we have to, I guess), “Detective Comics” #1025, “Lois Lane and the Friendship Challenge,” “Wonder Woman” #760, stares at “The Batman’s Grave” #9  

Wednesday: “Devil’s Highway” #2, “Seven Secrets” #1, “Darth Vader” #4, “Strange Skies Over East Berlin” (TPB), “Undone By Blood” #5 (think Boss Man Dan fires me if I don’t pick that ’un)  

Thursday: Happy birthdays to Halle Berry, Kofi Kingston, Mila Kunis and Tim Tebow (it was so much fun watching you lose at Florida only because you were so good). 

Friday: The one-year anniversary of a tiny Virginia opossum showing up on my doorstep. Happy Gotcha Day, Pablo. 

Saturday: The Union (Maine) Masonic Lodge 31 is holding a benefit chicken barbecue from noon to 3 p.m. For a donation that will go toward Lodge improvements, drive-thru diners will receive a leg quarter or breast, corn on the cob, potato salad, cole slaw, roll and a drink. According to the Penobscot Bay Pilot, “there will be picnic tables set up on the Masonic Lodge grounds for people to utilize if they desire.” (Don’t use “utilize,” Penobscot Bay Pilot. It’s a dumb word.)  

Sunday: The 2012 film version of “Les Misérables” comes to Netflix and offers both a good cry (Anne Hathaway’s Oscar-winning performance) and a good laugh (Russell Crowe’s “singing”). 

Stay safe. Stay sane.

Have a good week, y’all.