I have experimented with different columns and different formats over the five or so years I’ve been writing about comics, but you, Loyal Content Consumer, don’t necessarily care about that; no, you care about the comics, and I want to care about the comics with you. When I’m curled up in my big ratty office chair at 3 a.m., with an iPad in one hand and two fingers of bourbon in the other, when the words and the art and urgent beckoning of the bed downstairs all swirl together to yield feelings that I interpret here for your benefit and mine too, I want to be with you.
And as we take the giant leap to rebrand this week, to pivot into the undiscovered country of a bright future, I’m glad you’re here with me, with us.
Finally, as an acknowledgement, a privilege, an honor, a nod to the past and my own sheepish admission that the people here will always know more than me about the band of mutants who have inspired and thrilled fans since 1963:
It’s pronounced “ten.”
10. The Batman’s Grave #1. Writer: Warren Ellis, Artist: Bryan Hitch, Colorist: Alex Sinclair, Letterer: Richard Starkings, Publisher: DC
You are not entitled to a newsletter. The public adoration of cheering fans is not a God-given right. And I promise, your life will continue if you must spend it outside the hot spotlight of fame.
We — both the spectators to your offenses and those directly and indirectly harmed — deserve space. Respite. Quiet. And to feel that you have some measure of shame and self-awareness. So before you start to view your modicum of celebrity as a birthright (or wait — you’re not that famous, right?), remember this: Perhaps your future should be as an uncredited story consultant or contract coder or some other damned anonymous thing.
9. Crossover #2. Writer: Donny Cates, Artist: Geoff Shaw, Colorist: Dee Cunniffe, Letterer: John J. Hill, Publisher: Image
To date, Crossover has committed a number of venial sins: It plods, it makes a big show of referencing things without having much of anything to actually say about them, the female lead — a nominally real world person — wears a domino mask for no discernable reason aside from the fact she cosplays at work (and everywhere else, apparently). But its mortal sin — the unforgivable one aside from its callousness toward real immigration detainees and its both-sides-ing of a fundamentalist firebomber — is that it’s so goddamned boring. And, sure, you might retort that it’s only two issues in, but I’d say who asked you?
8. The Scumbag #3. Writer: Rick Remender, Artist: Eric Powell, Colorist: Moreno Dinisio, Letterer: Rus Wooton, Publisher: Image
“I hate myself,” I thought as I clicked that big blue buy button on comiXology. I found the first issue to be a mean-spirited cascade of downward punches. And yet I bought #2 and read #3, so who’s the real scumbag here? Ernie, the titular jerkwad, is still framed as a pathetic, child-like drug addict, but after three issues, we have the added bonus of bad guys who talk like this:
P.S. — Putting these ideas in the mouth of your heavy doesn’t give you any cover. Just so we’re clear, hoss.
Remender has framed this as a satire, but the last time I checked, satire has something to say, some cogent point to make. This? Nope. It’s a bad Get Smart parody with none of the wit. Hateful trash.
7. Batman: The Complete Hush. Writer: Jeph Loeb, Penciller: Jim Lee, Inker: Scott Williams, Colorist: Alex Sinclair, Letterer: Richard Starkings, Publisher: DC
It’s been sitting in my “Batman collections of note” pile for approximately forever, but it was the titular villain’s appearance in the current Detective Comics arc that finally prompted me to sit down and read it. And you know what? Hush fucking sucks. The story itself is pretty good — showcasing most of the rogue’s gallery, kickstarting Bat/Cat and grounding Bruce in the trauma of both Jason Todd and Barbara Gordon’s shooting is a feat for one storyline — but Tommy Elliot blows. He’s upset that he couldn’t kill his parents for their money fast enough? His costume is bandages and a neatly monogrammed leftover be-pouched number from Rob Liefeld’s rejects because … reasons? What a shit.
ComiXology: You’re on Notice
My comics collection is 98% digital, so I have too many thoughts on PDF readers, iPads and iPad cases. (iAnnotate, watch your weight and screen size and it’s got to cover the screen and neatly attach to the back WITHOUT adhesive, respectively.) But the thing that digs deep in my ass is comiXology, the only real option in the digital comics game with a monopoly and zero incentive to innovate in a relatively small and static marketplace. The service is not what bothers me; the platform works fine, and I don’t even mind not being able to purchase books directly from the iOS app because fuck Apple.
But the app itself?
It can go directly to hell.
Its last major update came in 2018, and it has only the barest of functions — print comic fans have been able to store and catalog their books with pride for generations, but us digital folks are left to scream at a parent company that simply doesn’t care. (If it did, this app wouldn’t be languishing.) But I’ve had it: If they don’t add a custom reading list — a simple proposition that would allow me to organize the 10 comic books I’ve pulled to read for this new format I’m stupid enough to commit to — I’m going to lose my goddamned mind.
ComiXology. Big bad Amazon. It’s time to add custom reading lists.
You’re on notice.
Back to Regular Programming
6. Darth Vader #8. Writer: Greg Pak, Artist: Raffaele Ienco, Colorist: Neeraj Menon, Letterer: Joe Caramagna, Publisher: Marvel
I don’t envy any writer tasked with drawing up a new Darth Vader story — we know how he started (killing children!), we know how he finished (magical redemption!) and we know the big canon story beats in between, so finding some space in there to tell a meaningful narrative has to be hard. The current arc by Pak (“Into the Fire”) has been a good one, with the Sith lord broken, dumped back on Mustafar and stripped of his ability to use the Force in a punishing Palpatine mindfuck. Oh, and there’s also a Sith assassin. It’s not high art (like anything Star Wars is), but it’s good pulp shenanigans.
5. A Dark Interlude #2. Writer: Ryan O’Sullivan, Artist: Andrea Mutti, Colorist: Vladimir Popov, Letterer: AndWorld Design, Publisher: Vault Comics
Here’s the deal: I don’t know whether this is good. What is good? Who am I to say? Do I even exist? A Dark Interlude — the don’t-you-dare-call-it-a-sequel followup to Fearscape — is as meta as it is dense, with the latter coming in as the comic equivalent of a stout beer that’s more chew than sip and swallow. Even though I feel woefully unprepared to judge it on its merits (Series charlatan and narrator Henry Henry would certainly have something to interject here; I know it), I appreciate the craft and care that has gone into this comic; nothing feels accidental or ill-thought. Deliberate and dense — those are the two words I’ve got for you on this one, Loyal Content Consumer. And while I can’t even begin to guess where the series will go next, the franchise will always have a place in my heart for its merciless evisceration of our modern fondness for the nine-panel grid. Wonder if Tom “Prestige” King read it?
X Spotlight: Things on ComicsXF You Should Read
- Everything is GOOEY in King in Black #2 by Forrest Hollingsworth and Justin Partridge: I know my dude Justin is living his best life when he gets to talk about goop. I couldn’t find my ass from a hole diagrammed in Miskatonic with all of the Lovecraftian ties neatly laid out to it, but it sure is fun to talk it over with him.
- What if Empathy Were One of Us? Just a Slob like One of Us? Commanders in Crisis #3 Explores by Ari Bard and Cori McCreery: Commanders in Crisis is — like so many things — languishing in my read pile, and I’m going to get to it one of these weeks. I’m trying not to spoil myself, but I’ll commend Ari and Cori for the headline reference that *has* to be older than Ari, and some quality food crime content.
- Which Articles Of The Geneva Convention Does Beast Break In X-Force #15? by Kenneth Laster and Ari Bard: Leave it to nerds to make war crimes into a joke. But forreal, Beast is truly on his bullshit.
- Look, We Really Like the Art, but Everything Else Is Just … Dammit, Donny, in Image’s Crossover #2 by Big Boss Zachary Jenkins and Dan McMahon: Better and deeper analysis than I had for it with the added benefit of calling out Cates for misspelling Brian K. Vaughan’s name.
Where Was I?
4. Ice Cream Man #22. Writer: W. Maxwell Prince, Artist: Martín Morazzo, Colorist: Chris O’Halloran, Letterer: Good Old Neon, Publisher: Image
Ice Cream Man is destined, I suppose, to go out like many excellent things do: respected for its brilliance and yet somehow underappreciated, a victim of its own consistent superiority. (Also, at this rate, it will be the best series to never receive an Eisner nomination — the “Heat,” “The Shining” and “A Face in the Crowd” of comics.) Its latest issue is no different than the 21 that came before it, aside from its complete change in structure, style and ambition. (So, again, more of the same.) Issue #22 was one of the series’ more grounded stories, one of unexpected teen pregnancy and the question of abortion. Prince added a few spooks along the way, but the ultimate conclusion — that we should support abortion services and talk about them openly — is as real as anything in the series to date. Also, because that storytelling task wasn’t difficult enough, Prince framed the whole thing as an Advent calendar.
How the fuck does this series not have any Eisner nominations? Do the judges even read comics? Make me a judge, and I’ll read the sumbitchin’ comics — or at least enough of them to know that Ice Cream Man is one of the best.
3. Penultiman #3. Writer: Tom Peyer, Artist: Alan Robinson, Colorist: Lee Loughridge, Letterer: Rob Steen, Publisher: AHOY
Mark Waid’s Irredeemable posits that Superman — if he was a creature of reality and not fiction — would eventually reach a point in which he could no longer contain his rage and frustration — that his psyche would fracture and humanity would suffer immensely. Peyer takes that idea (or one like it) and tweaks it: What if Superman was simply too depressed to function, confounded with an abiding sense of inadequacy and an inability to relate to humanity? And what if — to compound the problem — he had an emotionless android dupe who (because he didn’t have feelings to get in the way) could do his job better? It’s a series with profound subtleties and thoughts on superheroes — and every bit as good as Peyer’s Wrong Earth franchise.
2. Cheat(er) Code. Writer: S.A. Foxe, Artist: Daz, Letterer: Harry Otterman, Publisher: Limerence Press
Limerence Press, an Oni imprint that focuses on sex ed and erotica, is probably my favorite publishing house. Who else is publishing wholesome polyamorous sci-fi? Or a line of comics explaining they/them pronouns, queer and trans identities, sex and disability, and consent? Or its latest, Cheat(er) Code, an Eat, Pray, Love-cum-Ready-Player-One-cum…well, you know…look at a gamer trying to get over a breakup only to get sucked into his console after a freak lightning storm/masturbation accident. (This book is too good to get saddled with a Ready Player One comparison, but it works. Sorry, everyone.) This is a smutty, smutty book (four chili peppers out of four), yet it also has a heap of heart; by the end of it, you’re really rooting for Kennedy, a guy who’s had his life wrecked by a cheating boyfriend, to figure out what makes him happy in both love and sexual relationships. Really, this book has it all: imagination, personal growth and lots of hot, hot sex. Just the fuckin’ best.
1. Knock ‘Em Dead. Writer: Eliot Rahal, Artist: Mattia Monaco, Colorist: Matt Milla, Letterer: Taylor Esposito, Publisher: AfterShock
There’s a realness to Knock ‘Em Dead, a grittiness and texture that comes from both a spot-on design and artistic vision and Rahal’s real-life experience as a stand-up comedian, one of the few jobs without crushing manual labor or mortal danger that might be more economically perilous than your average comics industry gig. It’s no coincidence that Pryor Brice bears a resemblance to Rahal: This is his truth and his story, only amplified and spooked up, so naturally it’s going to be good. But judging by this first issue and the sense of dread and empathy already looming over the whole affair, it could very well be great.
NeXt Time on the X Spot
Batman Annual #5, Tales from the Dark Multiverse: Dark Nights Metal, Kaiju Score and at least seven more … because it’s pronounced “ten.”
Will Nevin loves bourbon and AP style and gets paid to teach one of those things. He is on Twitter far too often.
