The mailbag? Yeah, it’s full as hell.
And Now, Your Questions
Tweet me (@willnevin) or just scream at me with some stupid thing you want answered. If you don’t ask me questions, I’ll find you and beg you for them. Don’t make me beg.
@BigDadEnergy_: What lessons from pushing the Inhumans can Marvel apply to The Eternals
@WillNevin: boss are you hazing me?
@BigDadEnergy_: yes
I work in the content mines for you for hours a week, and this is the thanks I get — some big boss you are. Throw a rock in the Slack, and you’ll hit someone who knows more about both the Inhumans and the Eternals, but whatever. I take the questions I get, not the ones that I want. (But I have more sitting in my notes, so I didn’t have to run this one. I guess what I’m saying is that I wanted to complain about my working conditions. So consider this grievance filed.)
I am aware of the Inhumans vaguely as a thing that was promoted whilst Fox was busy time jumping, retconning and origin story-ing the X-Men into an unwatchable mess and doing…whatever the hell it was they were doing with the Fantastic Four. With two franchises not under their film control, I don’t begrudge Marvel for trying to spotlight other properties and for basically pretending the Fantastic Four didn’t exist. (I for one would like to pretend I didn’t see “Rise of the Silver Surfer,” but some things we can’t take back.)
But you can’t just make these things happen. It has to come organically from your fans and your creators who develop compelling stories. So don’t assume you can promote Eternals comics and interest will follow.
Now cut it out with the hazing, or I’ll get my union rep. [Grote’s note: Oh, crap, I think he means me.]
@LanTweets: What’s the lower bound on page count for a graphic novel, I.e. what’s the least amount of pages a graphic novel can have while being classified as such, with anything lesser than that falling into the “novella” range? [120, 90, 80, other]
The term “graphic novel” — as a stand-in for trade paperback collection or anytime someone wants to talk about a comic and sound fancy — has been abused all to hell, and I don’t think there’s any reclaiming it. But I understand you’re looking to talk about a work that was neither serialized nor collected — i.e. the thing a graphic novel should be. I’ll start by saying two things: 1) I don’t think we have a widely accepted standard for how long an OGN should be and 2) My standards here are high and persnickety. For example, “Pulp” — which I’m sure is a mighty fine Brubaker/Phillips joint — was too expensive at its original $16.99 cover price, and it is still high at its current $13.99 price point for 76 pages (or two floppies) of content. If we have such a thing as “graphic novellas,” that’s one right there, because it feels like cheating people out of a whole story at a reasonable price.
I have to come back to money with this one. If it’s $7 or $8, I have no problem with someone marketing their 50- or 60-page book as an OGN. But if you expect me to pay full novel prices, I better have at least 150 pages of content.
@FieldsofAthnry: WHY, WILL, can you provide the definitive ranking of Face To Heel Turns in professional wrestling history?
I originally said I was going to have only a top five list here, but I expanded it to a top 10 with even a few honorable mentions. However, it feels a bit skewed toward both recency and WWE, but I’ll excuse the latter as being the stuff I’m most familiar with. As far as the former goes, there are reasons to both include recent turns as being historically important and exclude them almost categorically. For the last 30 years, WWE and its chief North American competitors (in first WCW and now AEW) have been watering down their product with more and more television, with Vince McMahon’s company now producing five hours of main roster content every week in addition to monthly (in the case of “Summerslam” and “Payback,” weekly(!)) Sunday night specials. This extra content requires more storyline developments and more turns, which makes each turn less significant. Roman Reigns, for example, has been Vince’s defacto top babyface for the last three or four years, and he just turned. We think. And what should have been a thing that jolted the industry will largely be forgotten in a few months.
Anyway, 2020 Vince McMahon can’t write or book for shit, but here’s a list of turns that worked because they were moments that were surprising and yet still made sense in the context of a larger story.
Honorable mentions: Nakamura Goes Low (“Wrestlemania 34”), MJF Throws in the Towel (“Full Gear”)
10. Marty Goes Through the Glass (“WWF Wrestling Challenge,” Jan. 11, 1992)
It’s a moment, sure, but Shawn Michaels superkicking his tag partner Marty Jannetty through a window didn’t lead to some bonanza in business or storytelling. Michaels, though, got a career out of it, and that’s not nothing. More than Jannetty got for sure.
9. So Much for the Festival of Friendship (“Raw,” Feb. 13, 2017)
The Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens act was fun to watch, but the turn was weak (one heel turning on another heel doesn’t make for a hot babyface) and the feud got bigfooted by the inclusion of Goldberg. (I will never forgive him or Vince for squashing Owens for the title.) Amusing? Yes. Surprising? No.
8. Ciampa Does It Himself (“NXT Takeover: Chicago”)
Johnny Gargano and Tommaso Ciampa were the ultimate underdog tag team in DIY and main evented “NXT Takeover: Chicago” with an admirable losing effort against big hosses Authors of Pain. Then, they were given the “slow walk up the ramp to soak in the respect of the crowd” treatment, and the show signed off. Or did it? Ciampa turns on his partner to audible surprise that’s quickly drowned out in boos. A great, memorable angle, even though the subsequent feud went on too long (injuries didn’t help there).
7. He’s My Guardian Angel (“Hell in a Cell,” 2017)
Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens were bitter enemies (more on that soon)…until they weren’t as Zayn saved his former best friend from Shane McMahon’s elbow from the top of the cell. To that point in his WWE career, Zayn had been only a squeaky clean babyface, so the turn was shocking — especially given his history with Owens. He’s been subsequently marginalized as a heel (not like he was being used all that well previously, I suppose) but the turn was still a good one.
6. Not the Powerbomb on the Apron (“NXT Takeover: Revolution”)
On the same night that Kevin Owens debuted in the WWE ecosystem, his “real life” bud Sami Zayn finally won the big one as he defeated Adrian Neville for the NXT Championship. The locker room emptied to give him the celebration he earned, and Owens was right there at his side…until he shoved him to the floor and powerbombed him on the ring apron. Lesson: Sometimes your friends are resentful of your success.
5. Steve Austin Sells His Soul (“Wrestlemania 17”)
*I* would not have taken the hottest babyface of all time and turned him heel in what was the twilight of his in-ring career, but no one asked me. Still, the sight of Stone Cold Steve Austin sharing a beer with the evil Mr. McMahon — all so Austin could once again be champion — was some kind of thing to see.
4. The Only Good Double Turn (“Wrestlemania 13”)
Steve Austin grimacing while bleeding and being stuck squarely in Bret Hart’s sharpshooter is an indelible moment in the Rattlesnake’s career, capturing the edge and stubbornness that would define him as a babyface. For this turn, it wasn’t so much the new heel that was created (Hart) but the superstar who was born.
3. The Shield is Broken (“Raw,” June 2, 2014)
The most recent turn to make the main list, Seth Rollins’ decision to break bad was made legendary not by the chair shot to Roman Reigns but by Dean Ambrose’s reaction — the man sold it like he had just watched someone get shot. Rollins’ heel character was (and currently is) a television time suck, but that moment was great.
2. Hogan’s the Third Man (“Bash at the Beach,” 1996)
Bobby Heenan’s call (“Whose side is he on?!”) ruined the moment to a degree, but Hulk Hogan joining the Outsiders to form the NWO was the angle of all angles and the subsequent heel run gave the Hulkster a fitting end to the late prime stage of his career. (Note: Hogan is still an asshole.)
1. McMahon Calls for the Bell (“Survivor Series,” 1997)
Even though it ushered in the two worst tropes of the last 25 years (worked shoots and evil authority figures), Vince McMahon’s decision to IRL screw Bret Hart out of the WWF Championship and then lean into the conniving boss character he was barely hiding at that point was wrasslin’ gold. Without the Montreal Screwjob, there’s no Austin/McMahon, and maybe there’s no WWE in 2020. (Although I can’t say that would be a tragedy if I’m being honest.) Undoubtedly the most important heel turn in wrestling history.
@asimov_fangirl: Hi! 1) Which characters do you think enjoy being superheroes? It can’t always be “darkness, no parents!”, right?
2) What are your favorite moments of “superpowers/abilities/tools being used for mundane things”? In my case it’s Spider-Man’s Web hammock Thanks [smiling face with smiling eyes emoji]
The supes who enjoy it, I think, are the ones who are younger, the ones who are not embittered by their circumstances or lost in the sorrow of the innocents they were unable to save. Someone like, say, Nightwing. Out from under Bruce, he’s probably living his best life (until, of course, this “Ric” nonsense started). Spider-Man, since you mention him, is another good example, so long as he’s not too consumed with Uncle Ben. Deadpool is another guy who seems to have a lot of fun — helps when your brain is Swiss cheese, I suppose. (I do, however, prefer my ’Poolie on the serious side a la “The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.”)
As to your second question, this isn’t an example from comics, but I love how in “Star Trek: The Next Generation” they made phasers an all-purpose tool for heat and light. Trapped in a cave? Use your phaser to nuke some rocks until they glow! Makes not one damn bit of sense, but it’s more dramatic than flashlights.
@BlackFish775: Best sushi place in Tuscaloosa, how do you feel about AJian Sushi, the food they make and the fact that it exists, and do you think that the Marvel NCAA tests for the mutant gene as a disqualifying factor?
The best sushi place in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, is without question Ichiban: The food is the best; it’s female-owned; her children (the Ichibabies) are adorable and she also slips Pablo (our possum son) an occasional treat. I would never go anywhere else. In contrast, I wouldn’t send my worst enemy (OK, I probably would because I am a petty, vengeful shit) to AJian, the vaguely racist “sushi” place opened by former Alabama quarterback AJ McCarron, a fella notable for his UA career, his questionable decision to have most of his chest horribly tattooed and his total lack of restaurant experience. AJian is the sort of place to go if you’re drunk or about to be so, you’re not saddled with concerns about good food or cultural appropriation and the chance to get a sushi roll topped with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos appeals to you. In short, it’s the sort of place for the very worst white people.
As far as the NCAA goes, I think they test for the mutant gene *right* until the point that a healthy majority of society sees it as bigotry. Can’t expect Indianapolis to take a useful or progressive stance, after all. But after mutants are allowed to play, can you imagine how that would change recruiting? Who’s your top talent: a speedster? A shapeshifter? A teleporting QB who takes the snap and then zaps into the endzone? Mutant football is the spread on steroids — your average Big 12 shootout probably becomes something like 112-105, and that doesn’t even include prestige teams with five-star talent.
Let’s see if ol’ Nick Saban can scheme his way out of that mess.
Your ‘Why, Will’ Weekly Planner
Today, Wednesday, Sept. 2: We’ll start with two Marvel books, which is two more than…ever (?) as Kelly Thompson’s “Black Widow” #1 looks snazzy, and Phillip Kennedy Johnson’s long-delayed “Marvel Zombies: Resurrection” is finally seeing the light of brain-eating day. In other fly lookin’ stuff, “Grendel, Kentucky” #1, “King of Nowhere” #5, “Lonely Receiver” #1, “Lost Soldiers” #2 and “We Only Find Them When They’re Dead” #1 are locks for this week.
Thursday: If today’s your birthday, you share cake day with Charlie Sheen. I’m so sorry.
Friday: “Marvel’s Avengers” launches for console and PC. I think Amazon told me my order would be delayed? Guess I should look into that or something. I’m clearly hyped for this game.
Saturday: The coronavirus-delayed Kentucky Derby is back on for Saturday, and I’m so glad we’ve got that damned virus licked and beaten forever. Here’s a tip for your Zoom watch party on how to make the perfect mint julep: Take the mint and sugar syrup and throw that shit in the garbage. Drink heavily of your bourbon of choice.
Sunday: San Diego is playing host to its second boat parade to support the re-election of President Trump. I hope it rains.
Monday: Apple may announce a new line of Watches via news release. And if you’re not like me and don’t care, it’s still Labor Day. Everyone wins.
Tuesday: In DC’s comics, we got the collected edition of “Basketful of Heads,” “Dark Knight: Death Metal Trinity Crisis” (God, that’s exhausting) and “Wonder Woman” #762.
Stay safe. Stay sane.
Have a good week, y’all.
Will Nevin loves bourbon and AP style and gets paid to teach one of those things. He is on Twitter far too often.
