Live your life with the stupid confidence of Michael Larson.
But be less stupid.
Ten comics — including a familiar one in the pole position — and a little game show history coming your way in this week’s X Spot.
The Bottom (at the Top)
10. Black Cotton #1. Story: Patrick Foreman and Brian Hawkins, Script: Brian Hawkins, Artist: Marco Perugini, Letterer: Francisco Zamora, Publisher: Scout
I have to be clear and honest and state that I am approaching this book — one that makes race such a key issue — as a white critic. I also have to say I don’t think it works, at least in this first issue, because 1) it doesn’t do much with its premise of a world in which Blacks are the American majority and 2) a central plot contrivance makes the series seem silly in comparison to what it’s trying to be. The Cotton family, led by billionaire patriarch Eli, is wealthy and powerful in an alternate vision of America, one still plagued by inequity and police violence but with the racial roles reversed; in Black Cotton, it’s Black police officers shooting unarmed white suspects, after which protesters flock to the “White Lives Matter” protest. It’s interesting, absolutely, but when the reality is mirrored in the series, what’s the point? Is this book (by Black creators) arguing that the world would be the same? There’s time to clear that up and draw out some kind of argument or observation, but there’s no getting around the other central problem: Eli’s son Zion is the police officer who shoots an unarmed white woman. How often are scions working as beat cops? Is Bill Gates’ kid a firefighter? (Also, Gates kid: Wait until someone explains why money has absolutely no value other than the paper it’s printed on.) Unless this idea of the wealthy serving in ordinary positions becomes a central component of this alternate America, this is a baffling narrative choice that undercuts the core believability of the story.
Really Not That Bad
9. Infinite Frontier #0.
If you want the full scoop, Loyal Content Consumer, I’ll point you to the excellent staff roundtable put together by Brother Matt. My take? Aside from the Batman bits (which were strangely necessary for last week’s Batman #106), I didn’t take much from it. I guess it makes sense if DC is leaning into Detective Comics Comics, but it all felt rather tiresome and a consumption of so many unnecessary resources, like a fleet of 3,000 airplanes doing a lap around the Earth before dropping off said certificate at your house.
8. The Recount #2. Writer: Jonathan Hedrick, Artist: Gabriel Ibarra-Nuñez, Colorist: Sunil Ghagre, Letterer: Christian Docolomansky, Publisher: Scout
The Recount has firmly established itself in my heart as a guilty pleasure: all action, freaky weird politics and damned near no explanation or exposition. Like 24: The Comic. (Which reminds me — that actually existed, as did a CSI series. Man, comics are weird.) I’m still trying to analogize this to the real world, and it’s something like this: Donald Trump was actually super popular and really does have the election stolen from him, but the incoming and fraudulent president resigns in shame juuuuust before he gets assassinated, leaving his veep to deal with a country coming apart at the seams and a QAnon-like secret group gunning for all of the bad guy president’s supporters. That’s about it — other than I don’t think there’s a political point to all of this. It’s just nuts, and I’m here for it. Give me all the dumb white goons who use “freedom” as a safe word, and then cut ’em all down in a hellfire of bullets.
The X Non-Comics Thoughts of the Week
- We momentarily ran out of things to watch here at the Nevin Family Cat Compound and Possatorium, so I found an old episode of Press Your Luck — a great 1980s game show — on Amazon Prime. Host Peter Tomarken (the most talented MC to never make it big, if you ask me) is doing the perfunctory “talk to the contestants about their boring lives” bit, and he chats up Gary, who says he’s in Mensa, but “he doesn’t like to talk about it.” Then why the fuck did you tell the show’s producers you were in Mensa, Gare Bear?
- Before you never think about Press Your Luck again, please watch this two-part episode featuring legendary game show con man Michael Larson. Larson, who sat at home and memorized PYL’s pattern of flashing lights on its big board, took CBS for more than $100,000 in what was both a masterful showing of hand-eye coordination and a terrible acting job. Watch the episode as he gets into his rhythm; he doesn’t even bother to hide what he’s doing. If you’ve ever wanted to watch someone count cards at a casino and rub the house’s nose in it, this thing is for you.
- I figured out this week that I could watch videos on my Apple Watch. That means that someone somewhere has watched pornography on their wrist. Ain’t the future somethin’?
- I found the worst political take ever vomited out, courtesy of galaxy-brained dipshit Matthew Yglesias by way of Josh Barro (who is great on All the Presidents’ Lawyers with @PopeHat but is entirely too centrist for me). Yglesias says — among other ideas that would give ground to racists and bigots — that Democrats should try to triangulate the most recent idiot culture war nonsense stoked by Republicans. “Say you think it’s dumb that they are putting warning labels on old TV shows like the muppets,” Yglesias writes. “Just let people watch stuff.” Matty Boy, that’s the stupidest fucking idea I’ve ever seen anyone take the time to write down, and I read Zack Snyder’s storyboards for his Justice League sequels. (Full disclosure: I didn’t read them. I love my eyes too much for that.) But really, champ, you want the Democrats to engage in performative stupidity? Get fucked. And no, I won’t subscribe to your grift newsletter.
- The Senate passed President Biden’s coronavirus relief package. It took too long (It’s still not law, given that it has to be reconciled with the House version) and it’s missing that minimum wage hike, but it got a lot right, including the direct aid to individuals. One of those “perfect is the enemy of good” situations, for sure.
- Speaking of the minimum wage increase, Kyrsten Sinema wasn’t the only member of the Democratic caucus to vote against the measure (for full shame and ire, that’d be Joe Manchin, Jeanne Shaheen, Maggie Hassan, Jon Tester, Tom Carper, Chris Coons and Angus King), but she was the only one stupid enough to do so dressed as your cool English teacher. Bad optics and even worse politics. Do something for the people who are hurting in this country. Pass the fucking thing.
- It’s WWE’s Wrestlemania season, so it’s that time of the year when I have to hear about people “deserving” a spot on the card like the Miz “deserved” his recent mini title run or how Paul Wight “deserves” to be AEW champ. Stop. Matches and titles aren’t participation trophies; these wrestlers — who admittedly sacrifice a ton — deserve to be put in the best positions via booking and writing to succeed and create compelling shows for fans. The Miz is a lower-card comedy act who shouldn’t be near one of the company’s main titles. Paul Wight can do a lot for AEW without holding a belt. Lower-card wrestlers don’t need their “moment” on WWE’s signature event of the year. Come on, Pollyannas.
- I got my second dose of the Pfizer vaccine Sunday. Feels like I got frogged in the arm pretty good. We’ll see what the rest of my immune system has lined up for me, but whatever might be coming, it feels nice to be able to edge closer to a normal life. Thanks, science.
- Because I’m a dumb mark, AEW’s mystery signing was my biggest personal reason to order Sunday’s Revolution. While the internet commentariat speculated on names like CM Punk, Brock Lesnar and maybe (more for the shits and giggles of it) John Cena, the reveal of Christian Cage as the “Hall of Fame-level” guy was ultimately pretty OK. He’s not going to change AEW’s numbers (not that they sold him as someone who would), but Cage probably has another couple of solid years in him. My biggest questions are on WWE’s end: Why did they bring him back at the Rumble not under a long-term deal? Would their medical not clear him for a full run? Was it just a question of money? Whatever it was, none of it makes sense for WWE, especially as Edge marches ever closer to Wrestlemania.
- Poor Jon Moxley and Kenny Omega, going through 25 minutes of barbed wire hellfire only for booking and effects to fail them in the end — but at least one will make fans tend to forget about the other. The finish was terrible; a Good Brothers run-in doesn’t solve anything in this feud (And how could this not be a blowoff? I get they maybe go to it a third and final time with AEW’s version of The Greatest Wrestling Match Ever, but that’s still backward booking), and it wasn’t done particularly well. Flat as fuck. But then for the exploding ring to fizzle out, only for the announcers to sell it as the great calamity it was billed as? What a nightmare. (Yes, I have seen the truther tweet that alleges it was more impressive in person. Not buying it. Certainly not with that crowd reaction.) Tony Khan has got to be quicker and smarter, and he should have immediately pivoted to framing Omega as a lying shitbag who made a joke out of Moxley’s match. That way, you can still have the Kingston story (which is a nice one!) without sacrificing the credibility of your announce team and insulting your viewers’ intelligence — that last thing, if AEW insists on doing it, is going to catch a cease-and-desist from WWE if they’re not careful.
Not Many Complaints, I Tell Ya
7. Nocterra #1. Writer: Scott Snyder, Artist: Tony S. Daniel, Colorist: Tomeu Morey, Letterer: AndWorld Design, Publisher: Image
I get that people were super horny for creepypasta boys, but neato monster ideas aren’t enough on their own to carry a book. Nocterra is about a world gone eternally dark and a darkness that turns the living things it touches into abominable monsters. Which is cool! It’s also the plot bones of every zombie movie ever made, and when you couple that with a main character getting paid to take Our Vulnerable Secondary characters from Place A to Place B (with spooky bad stuff in between), I got real Last of Us vibes from this series. Certainly doesn’t make it bad, but it ain’t all that original (so far).
6. BRZRKR #1. Writers: Keanu Reeves and Matt Kindt, Art: Ron Garney, Colorist: Bill Crabtree, Letterer: Clem Robins, Publisher: BOOM
Speakin’ of unoriginal actioners, if BRZRKR didn’t have Keanu’s name and face attached to it, there wouldn’t be much to separate it from other immortal/super soldier books. While the setup is neither bad nor memorable, Garney’s work really highlights the viscera left in Keanu’s wake — and well done gore is not nothin’. (And on the subject of being well done, I feel like I’d somehow set myself on fire bi-weekly if I was an immortal warrior.)
X Spotlight: Things on ComicsXF You Should Read
- Did I Break It? Trying To Transform the Ultimate X-Spanse by Adam Reck. Transformers, X-Men and Noodles the cat. What else could you want in a piece? 18 stars.
- We Find Life in a Hopeless Place in The Swamp Thing #1 by Ari Bard and Vishal Gullapalli. These ol’ boys sure make the new Swampy sound good. Need to get on with reading it.
- Tyler Boss Masters Mystery in Dead Dog’s Bite #1 by Armaan Babu. He’s new to the team, and he’s got a bunch more thoughts on a good book than what I have scribbled out. (See below.)
- Advance Review: Undone by Blood Returns to Pull off a Heist during the Depression by Boss Man Dan Grote and Brother Matthew Lazorwitz. See above (aside from the being new bit).
- What to Expect from Ta-Nehisi Coates’ Superman Movie by Jude Jones. I’ll never trust J.J. Abrams having a piece of anything, but if Coates can follow his vision in spite of the film’s producer, Jude has a good read on what it might look like.
- Lights-Out: Moxley and Omega’s Beautiful Wrestling Horror Story by Charlie Davis. Charlie put his all into this one — same as Moxley and Omega did Sunday.
Almost the Best
5. Undone by Blood, or the Other Side of Eden #1. Writers: Lonnie Nadler and Zac Thompson, Artist: Sami Kivelä, Colorist: Jason Wordie, Letterer: Hassan Otsmane-Elhaou, Publisher: AfterShock
Undone by Blood is a favorite in the ComicsXF offices. (Yes, we have physical offices; they are quite nice. What? You say you don’t believe that? Well, to be fair, I still don’t believe England is real, so I get it.) It’s a world you wanna crawl into and spend some time with, and Nadler and Thompson are wizards at using this dual narrative format — last time out it was a kill ’em all revenge story, and this one is a heist book — to speak on tropes and break conventions. Should be a crime to be this smart. Also — and this is a trend across several books — AfterShock has really stepped up their backmatter design game.
4. Dead Dog’s Bite. Writer, artist, colorist and letterer: Tyler Boss, Publisher: Dark Horse
Joe, why did you pull a (fake) gun on the bullies?
“They kept calling spaghetti sauce ‘gravy,’” she says.
I literally lul’d. Drop a line like that, and it’s time to walk away from the keyboard — I know if I sprung it on social media, that would be enough Twitter for today. Alas, a line does not a comic make, so thankfully, Boss has a lot to go alongside the charm and wit of Joe(sephine) Bradley, a teen looking for her friend who’s gone missing. Design, colors, omniscient narration — buckets upon buckets of stuff to like in this book.
3. Chariot #1. Writer: Bryan Edward Hill, Artist: Priscilla Petraites, Colorist: Marco Lesko, Letterer: AndWorld Design, Publisher: AWA
Some things (like Rugrats: X-Men) are simply too good for this fallen world, but occasionally, we get folks like Hill lined up on a passion project that combines fast cars, impossible tech, righting wrongs and the sort of colors that only exist in the margins of a sunset. All in all, it feels like Knight Rider if it was shooting for a hard R rating. Truly gonzo. More on that book here.
2. Gotham Central #1. Writers: Ed Brubaker and Greg Rucka, Artist: Michael Lark, Colorist: Noelle Giddings, Letterer: Willie Schubert, Publisher: DC
Two detectives in boxy suits — the types who wouldn’t know you don’t wear ties at the top of the neck — charge into an apartment and find themselves at the wrong end of Mr. Freeze’s gun. One of them will never leave the apartment alive. The other will leave scarred forever. It’s only one issue, but there’s a reason why Gotham Central was the talk of comics in its day; it takes the abstract horror of living in a city controlled by madmen and makes it real, showing the consequences to ordinary cops who happened to walk into the wrong apartment on the wrong day. It’s riveting in the same way The Dark Knight was — the city, the world of Gotham actually exists with weight and heft. And that’s so goddamned refreshing.
The Top X List: Auto-Generated ComicsXF Blog Titles
Programming note: This week’s Discord quotes were cut for space. Our apologies.
We’re not a cult, and we’re definitely not a blog, but here are the top X auto-generated posts as determined by a clickbait-y bot I won’t link to:
10. I Will Tell You The Truth About Krakoa In The Next 60 Seconds
9. Is Comics Any Good? Ten Ways You Can Be Certain
8. Five Donny Cates That Had Gone Way Too Far
7. Eliminate Your Fears And Doubts About Comics
6. Learn From These Mistakes Before You Learn Marvel
5. 5 Secrets About Rob Liefeld That Has Never Been Revealed For The Past 50 Years
4. 15 Ways Batman Will Make You A Better Wo(Man)
3. 15 Doubts About Donny Cates You Should Clarify
2. Why Are Children Getting Addicted To AEW Nowadays?
1. Five Reasons You Shouldn’t Rely On Jonathan Hickman Anymore
Interested in signing up for the ComicsXF Patreon? You know what to do.
Finally, the Big Hoss of the Week
1. Casual Fling #2. Writer: Jason Starr, Artist: Dalibor Talajić, Colorist: Marco Lesko, Letterer: Steve Wands, Publisher: AWA
The first series to repeat as the X Spot’s BHotW is a great one as Casual Fling is the sort of adult story not about capes or immortal warriors or monsters but dealing with the consequences of one bad decision. Jennifer’s steamy (although that depends on your definition of hot, I suppose) extramarital affair has moved beyond awkward interpersonal complications and into a new realm of criminality, and the exciting thing about this book is that it’s hard to predict where it’s going next. My pessimistic gut says the series may have peaked here at its halfway point, but if it can manage to turn up the stakes, the final two issues could be incredible.
NeXt Time on the X Spot
Deep Beyond #2, Joker #1, Karmen #1 and seven more … because it’s pronounced “ten.”
Will Nevin loves bourbon and AP style and gets paid to teach one of those things. He is on Twitter far too often.
