In Original X-Men, you saw the Phoenix recruit the young X-Men to fix yet another time-displaced disaster. But now the threat is deadlier than ever, and it’s time to call in the X-Men’s big gun. He’s the best there is at what he does, in every universe he does it in, and this job is too big for just one of him. Wolverines from across the multiverse converge to take on a foe even the Phoenix fears in Weapon X-Men #1, written by Christos Gage, drawn by Yildiray Cinar, colored by Nolan Woodard and lettered by Clayton Cowles.
For fifty years, Marvel Comics have been chock full of Snikt!
That, of course, is the distinctive sound effect used for the unleashing of three shiny adamantium claws belonging to one James âLoganâ Howlett, better known as Wolverine, or âTheâ Wolverine, or Sir Stabs-a-Lot (I might have made that one up).
Being such a prolific (cash cow) character for Marvel, it was only natural for them to want to blanket 2024 with as many comics featuring the character as possible. Hell, the guy even has second billing in a feature film this summer (seven years after the character was killed off/the actor retired from the role).
These types of corporate-pushed celebration minis are a dime a dozen, running up and down the spectrum of quality.
Unfortunately, this one is a very bad comic.
Weapon X-Men is a tale that spins off last yearâs very bad comic Original X-Men #1. There the original five X-Men were introduced to a world where Jean Grey seemingly went evil, but turns out it was just Onslaught all along. That world was destroyed, the O5 were returned to their world, and another Jean (this time as the Phoenix) recruited a new team to fight Onslaught.
A multiversal team to take on the multiversal threat that is Onslaught. Sorry, I didnât mean to laugh. No matter how many times comics try, the only time Iâve taken Onslaught seriously as a villain was in the Marvel vs. Capcom game series. But I digress.
Christos Gage has built a bit of a reputation for handling these levels of books for Marvel, as well as being the go-to co-writer or guest writer for Dan Slott. My opinion of his writing has waxed and waned depending on the title. As already mentioned, I was not a fan of Original X-Men by any stretch of the imagination. At the time, I thought it would not and could not get any worse.
Oh, boy was I wrong.
Within the first few pages, there is already a fat joke at the expense of one of the Logans. Oh, and then that Logan tries to mansplain the use of âthey/themâ as personal pronouns to the female version of themselves, Jane Howlett, who is from the early 20th century. Those are just a few of the first beats that let one know what sort of thing they are in store for.
Our cast of Logans includes the one-handed version from the Age of Apocalypse; the suitably aged Old Man Logan version; the retired, out-of-shape version from Earth X; a Marvel Zombies version; and the aforementioned newcomer Jane. Per usual they are dubbed the âbest there is at what they doâ despite being the most motley-bordering-on-useless collection of Logans/Wolverines weâve ever seen.
In 2006, two issues of the multiversal adventure series Exiles featured an assembled team of Wolverines. That team would wipe the floor with this one, without breaking a sweat.
But hey, apparently, they are the only key to stopping the all-powerful Onslaught. Not a single thing in this comic gives me any reason to believe that, but the story proclaims it to be the case.
Truly, the greatest sin of this story is the sheer boredom. A team of Logans could mean many things, but all we get is a mostly hollow What If? style slight reshade of the Marvel Universe. All the usual characters are just a bit older, and more worn down, with spiffy new outfits. Itâs a reason for Gage to show off how many lower-tier characters he likes and wants to give some screen time. Doesnât matter, âcause theyâre all dead by the end, fallen to Onslaught and a zombie outbreak, oh, and their world being destroyed.
Visually, itâs just fine. There isnât a lot for Yildiray Cinar and Nolan Woodard to do. Most of the scenes are just characters standing around, in various locations, expositing at the audience, catching us up on the previous one-shot, the stakes, the state of this new world, Onslaughtâs plans, the issues of each of the Wolverines, and more that Iâve already blocked out.
Wolverines are all grumpy, but the expressions of everyone in this comic seem to speak to them having not a lick of fun either. Sure, a dire thing is happening, but even in the âlighterâ moments, everyone would rather be anywhere else. You and me both, claw brigade.
Where there is action, itâs pretty solid. There just isnât a whole ton, which feels off about a comic with four times the Wolverine we usually get in a book. Woodardâs colors are of a more natural/toned-down type, letting the costumes and such pop while everything else is very much closer to reality. A sort of grainy haze seems to hang over everything, which is a bit odd but doesnât take away from things overall.
At least Clayton Cowles gets a lot of work here, since characters are word-vomiting at us on just about every page. Bubbles on bubbles on boxes on boxes. Some visual flairs are worked in, and a bit of emotion is clear, but there is so much and so much of it is cringy that eyes are sure to glaze over.
If this is the level of things Wolverine fans have to look forward to for this yearâs celebration, I suggest they just go read their favorite past stories. At least they know theyâll find enjoyment there.
Buy Weapon X-Men #1 here. (Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate, ComicsXF may earn from qualifying purchases.)
Scott Redmond
Scott Redmond is a freelance writer and educator fueled by coffee, sarcasm, his love for comic books and more "geeky" things than you can shake a lightsaber at. Probably seen around social media and remembered as "Oh yeah, that guy." An avid gamer, reader, photographer, amateur cook and solid human being.
