Widespread panic breaks out in Louisiana as it becomes Ground Zero for an alien invasion force. But are they really what they seem? And are they a known species or some new terror altogether? Can even the X-Men resist the technological terror when Mars needs mutants? Uncanny X-Men #30 is written by Gail Simone, drawn by Rogê Antônio, colored by Matt Wilson and lettered by Clayton Cowles.
Adam Reck: Behold! Mars, aka The Red Planet, currently known as Arakko if anyone cares to remember the epic storytelling of Al Ewing’s X-Men Red. We got a glimpse of Arakko in the Age of Revelation and maybe the last issue of Storm: Earth’s Mightiest Mutant, so I think it’s swell that Uncanny is checking in on everyone’s favorite space warrior-folk in this issue.
Austin Gorton: Um, Adam…
Adam: Plus this will make such a nice palate cleanser after all that Graymalkin Prison/Inmate X stuff. I’m so glad we’re done with that story.
Austin: Oh, buddy…
Adam: I’m sensing neither of these things is true. Let’s get into it.
Let’s Dance
Adam: Haven Parochial is having a dance, and of course our young mutants the Outliers are excited to go, even if they don’t really know the protocol. There’s a great gag early on here where a girl asks Ransom to the dance, he lets her know he’s dating Idie (glad this detail from the Hellfire Vigil didn’t get forgotten) and Hotoru lists very factual info (She lives in Alaska in a robot factory!) and it makes the girl cry.
Austin: I genuinely laughed. I’m a fan of comics lampooning their absurdity in the right moments, and it’s a fun riff on the “I have a girlfriend in Canada” trope.
Adam: It’s pretty funny. Later, Gambit takes Calico to a pawn shop to buy a gift for Jitter and she comes across a Funko-like toy that doubles as anti-mutant propaganda. This makes Calico cry, so Gambit beats the pawnshop owner with his own bat. This seems like a … disproportionally violent response? Or was that just me?
Austin: It seems like this is meant to be an acknowledgement of the ongoing “Gambit’s turning into a dragon or whatever” subplot, that the violent escalation is being triggered by that. But it probably could have been made more clear that that is what is driving his actions.
That said, I enjoyed Simone’s thinly veiled swipe at Funko POPs.
Adam: There are some additional solid Hotoru gags as his date, Marlys, shows off her Mutina merch and Hotoru explains how she’s tried to kill him multiple times. I also enjoyed the detail that Jubilee tells him to compliment Marlys’ shoes and he says, “I see you are wearing shoes. That’s good.” Essentially Deathdream is the X-Men’s Amelia Bedelia, and somehow it works.
Austin: Plenty of people have gnashed their teeth about how central the Outliers have been to Simone’s run, but the fact remains, it continues to be the best material in the book. I’d much rather read about them going to a dance and shenanigans ensuing than whatever the hell is still happening at the prison.
Adam: Oh, we’ll get to that! I do have questions about why the school would allow non-staff to chaperone the dance, but maybe the X-Men’s pseudo-celebrity status in Nawlins makes their presence perfectly normal. Poor Ransom was hoping Idie might show but is stuck instead with The Vig trying to recruit him. Luckily they’re interrupted, which gives us a good opportunity to segue to …
Life on Mars
Adam: The issue actually begins with a fantastic X-Files-y scene with two cops investigating the disappearance of the mayor’s cousin, Virgil. Antonio’s artwork and Wilson’s colors here are downright spooky, depicting the horror of Virgil and then one of the cops being consumed by bright white beams of tentacles before being pulled upward by a bright red tractor beam. It’s a scene that would fit right alongside some of the horror anthologies on the rack, but doesn’t align with the two alien sightings we have later.
Austin: I can’t deny I missed Luciano Vecchio (and David Marquez) reading this issue, but also, I enjoyed Antonio’s work on the recently concluded Cyclops miniseries, and it works particularly well in this cold open, the relative lack of details and polish compared to Vecchio fitting the suspenseful tone, and the reveal is suitably creepy.
Adam: Alien sighting #2 occurs while Nightcrawler is picnicking with his girlfriend, MacKenzie, exchanging adorable lovey-dovey dialogue. Unfortunately they are interrupted by a tall, strong, trident harpoon-wielding creature with a Mr. Freeze-esque helmet whom Kurt somehow cannot teleport. It only occurred to me upon second reading that we leave this unresolved with the creature aiming his harpoon at the fuzzy elf.
Austin: Two things I bumped up against in the otherwise adorable Nightcrawler/MacKenzie banter: Is “my family is a bit of a sour twist” a thing people say and/or Nightcrawler would say? It also seems like an awkward transition into the discussion of MacKenzie’s kids and their Father of Ominous Portent.
That said, I want to give Wilson’s coloring another callout here. It would be easy to make a mess of two mostly blue and black figures fighting each other, but Wilson manages to make both Nightcrawler and the alien distinct on the page.
Adam: Alien sighting #3 is neither the white tentacle light OR Mr. Freeze, instead it’s a group of Brood holding similar trident harpoon guns (filled with neon green ooze!) as the creature in the previous scene. Ransom has done his homework; he knows what the Brood are and punches one clean through the head. But there is still another quintet of nasty bug aliens for Ransom and Vig to fight off.
How are the three manifestations of aliens connected? Aside from the trident harpoon guns, they each look completely different. Any thoughts on how this all lines up, Austin?
Austin: My first thought was shapeshifter, but once the Brood showed up, I started leaning toward some kind of alien confederacy — not that the Brood typically play well with others. I guess we’ll have to wait and see, and hope it resolves with a touch more clarity than the last arc’s Outliers/New Mutants sort-of-AI switcheroo did.
Look Back in Anger
Adam: The one thing I was super happy about last issue was that we had finally wrapped up the Graymalkin Prison and Inmate X storyline. And yet, for whatever godforsaken reason, Simone has decided to drag this story out even more. Instead of — as one might assume — the victimized, kidnapped inmates walking free, Monet seems compelled to keep them all prisoner, including the use of their power-dampening neck collars. They ain’t happy about it. No $%&#!
Austin: Ugh.
So, on the one hand, I have to appreciate Simone not just sweeping the Graymalkin story under the rug, much as I’m ready to be done with it. Dealing with the aftermath and using it to spin up a new plot is classic comics storytelling.
On the other hand, I don’t love much of what’s happening here. Monet says she’s going to remove the collars, but, uh, why are they still on in the first place? And while I get Monet/the X-Men may not want to just release people people like, say, Sarah Gaunt despite the fact that she was being held illegally by Podcaster Ellis (the X-Men did after all hand her over to Ellis), that doesn’t mean they have to hold EVERYONE until they figure out what to do with her. Like, Monet almost gets in a fight with Blob in this issue; he was the bartender on Krakoa! Let him go!
We don’t see Siryn in this issue, but we do see Banshee; is he hanging out, helping Monet and Quicksilver do their thing, while his daughter is still wearing a collar and living in her cell? I find that hard to believe.
Moreover, I just don’t get what Simone is going for here. I’m all for verisimilitude, but I don’t need the X-Men getting caught up in the intricacies of re-imprisoning potential criminals held illegally, especially when the majority of the people in question aren’t criminals in the first place!
Adam: Agreed on all points, and I sure hope this gets cleaned up fast. Right now this is making a mess even messier. Speaking of which: The end of the issue also points to an additional “mystery.” Monet demands to know what was happening in the labs at Graymalkin Prison. And despite us already knowing the answer to that — see Alex Paknadel and Justin Mason’s Sentinels and Simone’s own Wolf Pack & Waffles — we learn that Ellis was attempting to “make Wolverines” in a program called “Weapon X-Finity” and SIIIIIGH. How many times are we going to have to sit through stories about “making more Wolverines?”
Austin: More times, Adam. The answer, unfortunately, is “more times.”
Adam: And more times it will be, sir, when we return to talk about the next issue. See you then!
X-traneous Thoughts
- Antonio continues this volume of Uncanny’s great roster of artists. The issue looks terrific.
- The X-Men have not encountered The Brood since Polaris sicced them against Orchis in Fall of the House of X #2.
- After Banshee said Monet needs to meet Black Tom in this issue, we scoured X-history for a time they actually had. When Black Tom appears in Generation X, Monet is either two kids in a trenchcoat or not actively on the team. But we did see they definitely shared airspace in Empyre: X-Men #1. Whether being in the same room counts as “meeting” is up for debate, especially since it does not look like they were ever explicitly on panel together.
- I’m sorry, but I don’t buy Monet and Quicksilver as a couple. I know Simone didn’t pair them up, but the chemistry reads extremely false in every way.
- Banshee’s mutton chops are magnificent. That is all.
- “Weapon X-Finity” sounds like a cheap setup for a spinoff series, but another “let’s revisit the Weapon X project” story would go down a lot easier if we’d gotten ANY indication earlier in the book that Ellis and/or her government sponsors were at all interested in that, especially when we already have several on-page explanations of what the secret lab was doing.
- This issue and other Marvel comics this month feature a well-deserved tribute to the late Gerry Conway.
Buy Uncanny X-Men #30 here. (Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate, ComicsXF may earn from qualifying purchases.)
Adam Reck is the cartoonist behind Bish & Jubez as well as the co-host of Battle Of The Atom. Follow him @adamreck.bsky.social.
Austin Gorton also reviews older issues of X-Men at the Real Gentlemen of Leisure website, co-hosts the A Very Special episode podcast, and likes Star Wars. He lives outside Minneapolis, where sometimes, it is not cold. Follow him @austingorton.bsky.social.
