Why, Will Weekly Planner: Where Are The Dang Comics?!

Hi, Xavier Files friends, family and fiends — I’m Will (a Libra, bourbon fan and fake doctor), and I’ll be here every Monday with your weekly planner, the thing that’s gonna keep you on track for success. Or keep you informed. Or something. Look, I can’t figure out for this bit whether I’m your secretary or your taskmaster, but don’t worry — I’m still workshopping it.

ANYWAY, here’s some stuff for you:

Today (June 29): Meet the WMQ Family Day

So I’m Will. I have an unrequited beef with Sean Gordon Murphy, a man who never imagined a face he couldn’t turn into a scowl or a complicated issue he couldn’t simplify into a stupid, convoluted plot. I write sad things. Bizarre things. The story of a future yet to happen. I write about the people making the world a better place in small ways. I write because writing is safer than an at-home craniectomy and this pressure has to go somewhere.

Matt handles the Bonus Reading column, and he’s going to keep that rolling here at Xavier Files. He’s a good dude. And I have the feeling he could handle himself in a knife fight. I don’t have any proof of that. Just a gut feeling.

And then there’s Boss Man Dan. The maestro, the maker, the man behind the Weekly Q newsletter and our Sunday Editorials (again, more things that will continue here). He built the damn thing, and now, he’s making it bigger and badder with the help of all you X-fiends.

We have more friends and contributors (my favorite is Tomy, my young ward who lives for “Ice Cream Man”) whom you’ll meet in time. But for now? We have unpacking to get to. And we have to get the cable set up.   

Tuesday: DC Desert 

Cover by Mirka Andolfo

Fifth Tuesdays/Wednesdays can be a dumping ground for weird stuff or, like this week, no stuff at all, with DC and Marvel basically getting a head start on the Fourth. (Did my disordered brain write all this into reality?) At least they’re keeping up with the Digital First line, and it’s no coincidence the two signature titles (Well, two out of three if we include today’s “Man of Tomorrow”) are out Tuesday in “Batman: Gotham Nights” and “DCeased: Hope at World’s End.” The second chapter of “Harley Quinn: Black, White & Red” is out Friday. That’s pretty much it for DC.

[Note to the management: Why the heck did we do the merger this week? They’re stocking tumbleweeds on the shelves for chrissakes.]

[Grote’s note: I mean I found some stuff.]

Wednesday: New Comic Book Day, I Guess

Cover by r.m. Guera

The whole industry isn’t taking a powder, thankfully, as there are some fine new books out this week. “Devil’s Highway” #1, by Benjamin Percy (the best voice in comics, by the way — it is truly magnificent) and Brent Schoonover, looks like a hell of a grindhouse ride. “King of Nowhere” #3 from W. Maxwell Prince and Tyler and Hilary Jenkins is the newest issue of a truly funky series with some real emotional depth. “I Can Sell You a Body” #4, “Olympia” #5, “On the Stump” #3, “The Plot” #5 and “Pretty Violent” #7 are also worth a look.

The thing this week? The return of Jason Aaron and r.m. Guéra’s “The Goddamned” after a four-year absence. God’s wrath really does seem like the thing to read about in These Unprecedented Times.  

Thursday: Mobile Coronavirus Testing in Wampsville, New York

For six hours on Thursday, the people of Wampsville, New York, will have access to coronavirus testing via SUNY Upstate Medical University’s mobile COVID-19 bus, according to a report by WSYR.

The testing, which will take place from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. at the Madison County Complex, is by appointment only.

“Thank you to SUNY Upstate for bringing their mobile testing abilities to Madison County once again,” said Madison County Public Health Director Eric Faisst in a Rome Sentinel report regarding a June testing clinic. “One of the ways we combat this virus is test as many people as possible to know who is positive so we can limit the spread.”

Wampsville, the seat of Madison County, is home to approximately 500 residents, and the county as a whole has seen 384 cases and 17 deaths.

“I don’t even like to talk about that,” said President Donald Trump in an interview with Sean Hannity, “because it’s fading away. It’s going to fade away.”

Friday: NCBD: The Long(er) Reads Not Out on Friday But Take Time to Read Them *On* Friday

Cover by Dave McKean

Not a heckuva lot in long reads, but there are a couple: namely a new edition of Grant Morrison’s “Arkham Asylum” that’s offering remastered artwork (tempting) and the second volume of “James Bond: Origin.” IDW is also releasing “Johnny Dynamite: Explosive Pre-Code Comics,” which seems like a thing I’d get and never read.

There’s also a “Nightwing: Year One” collection out, but it’s written by Chuck Dixon, so it can go to hell/wherever Ric Grayson is from.

Saturday: Independence Day

I won’t belabor the points I’ve made in and around this space already: The United States of America is a broken thing bleeding out in the gutter, and we’re the ones who did the stabbing. All of us who participated in the system that brought us to this point. But Frederick Douglass said all that stuff, said it better and said it 168 years ago. 

Despite myself, I still believe in the central myth of this place — that it can be good and a place for all. And while I’ll restrain myself from going to the well that is the most beautiful language ever put down in a Supreme Court opinion, I will point to the thing on all our jangly clunky spendy money: e pluribus unum.

It’s Latin for something close to “out of many, one.” (Although Dad joked it meant “There’s more where that came from.” Very funny, Pop.) And while the Vulcans have it better with “Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations,” it means the same: The American ideal is a diverse union of all people made stronger by that diversity.

We’ve never lived up to that ideal for a single goddamn day. But there’s hope. There has to be. 

Sunday: On This Day in History

1937: Spam (a portmanteau of “spiced” and “ham”) is introduced. Don’t die without trying it on white bread after throwing it in a hot skillet. (I’m serious.)

1989: The pilot for “Seinfeld” airs on NBC. We wasted so much time and attention on that show.

1994: Amazon is founded by Jeff Bezos. He is now worth $161.1 billion. #eattherich

2003: The SARS virus is declared contained. Man, what crazy times.

2016: The FBI announced it will not prosecute Hillary Clinton for mishandling classified information. That was the last we heard about that, right?  

Will Nevin loves bourbon and AP style and gets paid to teach one of those things. He is on Twitter far too often.