We’re reading Artists, Writers and Artisans books this week, Loyal Content Consumer. And, yes, that’s the name of a real comic book publisher and not at all an attempt to game any sort of alphabetical listing system. Who are the Artisans who are not Artists? Letterers are artists, rights? Maybe it’s editors. Editing is a craft — just ask poor Boss Man Dan, who has to assemble my steaming piles of letters and words into something readable (Grote’s note: I’m the real heroes). So maybe they’re really Artists, Writers and Editors, which is AWE, which we could either spin into #AWEsome or rely on wrestling nerds who can’t type to get us some accidental Google hits.
They should have talked to me about this, clearly.
The Bottom (at the Top)
10. Batman: Widening Gyre #1-6. Writer: Kevin Smith, Artist: Walt Flanagan, Inker: Art Thibert, Colorist: Art Lyon, Letterer: Jared K. Fletcher, Publisher: DC
Last week, I took on Spider-Man: Reign as an attempt to question our assumed knowledge: Is the book that’s infamous for Peter Parker’s radioactive sperm actually that bad? The answer, if you appropriately content consumed, is no — Kaare Andrews’ work is imaginative and ambitious (albeit perhaps a little silly), and it does not deserve the tarring (in whatever substance you want to imagine) and feathering we have given it. “So,” Will thought to himself, “what about Kevin Smith’s piss Batman book? Maybe that’s not so bad either.”
Will was wrong.
Widening Gyre, the miniseries in which Kevin Smith of Clerks 2 and Cop Out fame retcons Year One to include a “bladder spasm” in its most memorable scene, is wretched from top to bottom, opening with Baron Blitzkrieg and closing with a graphic fridging of Bruce’s fiancee. At least with the latter we’re not given much to think about with her; all we know is that she loves Bruce, and they like to fuck a whole bunch. (She calls him “Deedee” as in “double digits” as in they screwed 11 times in one night. Kev, let’s chat about the refractory period sometime, a’ight?) And this is not a complaint but more something I’m incensed as hell about: The piss scene doesn’t come until the back half of the sixth issue. That’s a long time to wait for something you’re embarrassed to read.
When Batman is not pissing or fucking, he or Nightwing are talking about shitting — “turd” simply doesn’t feel right coming out of a real superhero’s mouth, and I can’t imagine the thinking that would lead someone to write that as actual fucking dialogue. And you might say, “Will, no grown-ass adult would script the word ‘turd’ in his Detective Comics comic book,” but you would be wrong because I read it and will never be able to forget it.
Reign had dreams; Widening Gyre has puerile nonsense and meaningless references. Kevin Smith was Sean Gordon Murphy before there was such a thing.
That may have been the meanest thing I’ve ever written.
As of last year, Smith said he’s still working on the second volume of the story.
What a fucking threat.
Other Books of Ill-Repute
9. Averee #1. Writer: Stephanie Phillips with Dave Johnson, Artist: Marika Cresta, Colorist: Andrew Dalhouse, Letterer: Saida Temofonte, Publisher: A Wave Blue World
Speaking of publishers playing the alphabet game, the ideas in this AWBW book — a blend of nauseatingly famous influencers, smothering online platforms and China’s dystopian social credit score — are all here, but the execution seems off; maybe there’s not enough of a 30,000-foot view of the world they’ve created? By focusing so tightly on Averee and her family, I feel like we’re missing the bigger picture of how this tech nightmare works. Still, despite my gripes, I was into this by the end of the issue.
8. Bad Mother #1. Writer: Christa Faust, Artist: Mike Deodato Jr., Colorist: Lee Loughridge, Letterer: Dezi Sienty, Publisher: AWA
Aye, it’s the first of our Artists, Writers and [Some Other Word that Starts with A] books, and like Redemption (also by Christa Faust) last week, this one didn’t hook me. Again, maybe it’s not enough exposition? (Such a tricky thicket between explaining and engaging and boring a reader.) The thing looks great. And maybe it kicks up a few notches in #2 (and beyond). But I don’t feel compelled to get after it.
A Stench That Money Cannot Hide
Sen. Richard Shelby (R-Ala.) announced Monday that he will not seek re-election to the U.S. Senate in 2022, forgoing a seventh term to perhaps wither and die just a bit sooner as I will his 86-year-old body to the grave.
If you’re not from Alabama, you probably don’t know him, and that’s fine; he’s one of the anonymous background players in the Senate, like the senator from Arkansas who’s not a wannabe fascist or Sen. John Hoeven (R-N.D.), a name I possibly made up and a question you wouldn’t stake more than a nickel on. In a world of showhorses and workhorses, Shelby was the latter, an appropriator who always managed to bring home the lard to Alabama, like the National Water Center at the University of Alabama. (Tuscaloosa is on a river, and it rains. Good a place as any for a national water center, I reckon.) He also brought FBI and Space Command resources to the NASA/military contractor bubble in the northern part of the state, as this fawning local coverage of his retirement notes.
But — and I say this with all due reverence — fuck him.
I know he should probably get credit for at least being dedicated to the task of governance, a bar certainly too high for the state’s soon-to-be-senior senator, college football washout, possible coup conspirator and all around dipshit Tommy Tuberville. I likewise know Shelby will be replaced with the absolute worst candidate the people of Alabama can find, perhaps technically sentient feces like Mo Brooks (“Every time you have that soil or rock, whatever it is, that is deposited into the seas, that forces the sea levels to rise because now you’ve got less space in those oceans because the bottom is moving up,” he once said, trying to explain fucking global sea level rise) or Alabama’s secretary of state, a man whose signature achievement (aside from making it more difficult to vote) is feuding with constituents on Twitter.
Still, I do not care and I will not mourn this man’s retirement, because (as I said) fuck him.
When he was still a baseball player and not a FOX News-addled pee paw brain, Curt Schilling was asked what it meant to play the Yankees, to square up against the “mystique” and “aura” of the ghosts of Yankee Stadium.
“Those are dancers in a nightclub,” Schilling said. “Those are not things we concern ourselves with on the ball field.”
It might have been the only thing Schilling ever said that was right or insightful in the slightest; they’re just words. Empty, meaningless words.
Like “forgiveness” or, in 2021, a “good” Republican.
Over the course of his career, Shelby has opposed abortion, gay rights, banking regulations, the Affordable Care Act and Donald Trump’s first impeachment. He will likely vote (if he hasn’t already by the time you read this) to exonerate the former president of his culpability in one of the Republic’s most treacherous moments. He has earned nothing but my scorn and probably deserves less than that.
Some of the aforementioned fawning local media coverage has also referenced Shelby’s public opposition to bigot and noted sex creep Roy Moore’s 2017 special election for the Senate seat he lost to delightfully milquetoast centrist Doug Jones — a rejection by Shelby that amounted to nothing more than writing in a “distinguished Republican.” If he did more then — if he actually supported Jones — then perhaps a middling football coach would not now represent the state. But that would have taken courage and conviction on Shelby’s part — two things he has never had in reserve.
There’s a moment in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade when Nazi collaborator Dr. Elsa Schneider tries to explain why she shacked up with the goosesteppers, saying “I believe in the Grail, not the Swastika.”
A means to an end.
“You stood up to be counted with the enemies of everything the Grail stands for,” Indy retorts. “Who gives a damn what you believe?”
Shelby stood up to be counted any number of times over the decades, and he will keep standing for the wrong things and the wrong people for the next two years. No amount of appropriations will ever change that.
Be Better
7. Future State: Green Lantern #2. “Last Lanterns” Writer: Geoffrey Thorne, Artist: Tom Raney, Colorist: Mike Atiyeh, Letterer: Neil Uyetake; “Dead Space” Writer: Josie Campbell, Artist: Andie Tong, Colorist: Wil Quintana, Letterer: Dave Sharpe; “Recon” Writer: Robert Venditti, Artist: Dexter Soy, Colorist: Alex Sinclair, Letterer: Steve Wands, Publisher: DC
John Stewart is a compelling, dynamic presence, dominating this issue every bit as much as he did the first. Things are less fun when he’s not around — this could have easily been a Future State book without backups — but that would have killed the Jessica Cruz story from the first issue. (More of that ASAP, please.) The tease of what’s to come in the ongoing story was OK … I guess. (Feel the excitement.)
6. Grendel, Kentucky #1. Writer: Jeff McComsey, Artist: Tommy Lee Edwards, Letterer: John Workman, Publisher: AWA
As a riff on Beowulf, it really doesn’t mean much to me since I’m an uncultured shit gibbon, but as just a regular-ass “I went to a state school and avoided the tough English elective” read, it’s solid. Bikers and pot and great colors — can’t ask for much more in a book. (Although if I do get a chance to ask for something, it’d be to turn these inks down by about 30%.)
5. Devil’s Highway. Writer: Benjamin Percy, Artist: Brent Schoonover, Colorist: Nick Filardi, Publisher: AWA
Mix a pinch of police procedural with a dash of Satanic lore and a heap of seedy truck stops, and you’ve got Devil’s Highway. Fun shit.
X Spotlight: Things on ComicsXF You Should Read
- Far Sector Shaped Me & Can Shape You Too, If You’ll Let It by Jude Jones. Jude’s piece does many personal and powerful things — and makes me reconsider my stance on the ongoing Lantern book if Jo plays a serious part in it. Thanks for this. And for the reminder that I need to read Far Sector.
- The Dark Lord of the Sith Looks Within in Star Wars: Darth Vader #10 by Austin Gorton. Darth Vader is a book I need to read more consistently. No matter who’s writing it, it’s usually good or at least bonkers, and if I’m honest, I’ll settle for the second thing if I can’t get the first. Austin’s writeup is bonkers unto itself with “space vagina tentacle monster” being an actual phrase you can find if you click that there link. I love ComicsXF, and I wouldn’t write anywhere else. [Grote’s note: AWWWWWWWW]
- Kicking Major Bot in Avengers: Mech Strike #1 by Tony Thornley. Another thing I need to read.
- Good Endings Abound in Future State Justice League, Superwoman and Superman/Wonder Woman by Justin Partridge. This motherfucker has so much energy and positive vibes in his work.
- Street Punks, VHS Ghosts and More Await in Home Sick Pilots #3 by Boss Man Dan Grote and Forrest Hollingsworth. Limbo forever.
Be Almost Best
4. Radiant Black #1. Writer: Kyle Higgins, Artist: Marcelo Costa, Letterer: Becca Carey, Publisher: Image
Sad sack writer (that’s a fucking rude and personal callout there, Kyle) Nathan Burnett is broke (ruder) and living with his parents (OK, not yet), and things generally blow until he finds what looks like a small black hole that grants him a new superhero identity along with the powers of telekeneisis and probably some other stuff we haven’t learned about yet. Relatable (again, so rude) and fun — nice debut. And if this truly is the start of a new shared Image universe? Hmmm…
3. Truth & Justice Ch. 4-6. Writer: Brandon Easton, Artist: Jahnoy Lindsay, Colorist: Marissa Louise, Letterer: AndWorld Design, Publisher: DC
I read the first two chapters of this story waiting for the allergic reaction to the coronavirus vaccine that never came, and lemme tell you, a story about Superman acting to overcome systemic racism hits differently in that moment. And here’s a fun thought experiment: Why can’t we get stories like this in the mainline books? Superman began fighting for social issues, and this was a better and more interesting challenge for him than any retread of a Kryptonian villain. But you don’t want to upset those precious #SnyderCut bigots, I suppose. One tip for writing a social justice book, though: Don’t write Supes to take a dig at someone’s clogged arteries. That’s a fat joke by any other name, and our Big Blue Boy Scout would (or at least should) never go there — especially not in this book.
2. DC Love is a Battlefield
The good parts here — Harley/Ivy and the Sgt. Rock pieces — are great, and I defy you to read them without feeling something. And while my standard anthology message of “everyone will have their favorite, and we can’t judge this as a whole” usually applies, this thing (despite the bits I love) suffers from a real curation problem: Why, in the year 20 and goddamn 21, do we need a Bat/Cat story in this book? Or Diana/Steve Trevor? Come. On. Still, the parts of this book that sing do so in such a wonderful way.
The Out of ConteXt X: Choice ComicsXF Discord Quotes
- “I brought you a picture of a handsome cowboy”
- “Bold of you to assume that I know how to read”
- “spec market brain worms”
- “y’all please dm me some cursed images. i’m making a thing.”
- “After the war that was an excess of things that explode and we decided to get rid of the surplus by selling it to children.”
- “I like a cape that can double as a throne.”
- “my ‘CXF: It’s Not A Cult’ T-shirt is raising a lot of questions already answered by my T-shirt”
- “ComicsXF: the fancy schmancy comics website”
- “Y’know when something ridiculously prestige and expensive is available to buy and you absolutely cannot justify buying it but by God do you want it”
- “no, X-Files meets Howard The Duck (1986)”
Wanna get in on the madness that is the ComicsXF Discord? Back our Patreon.
Finally, the Big Hoss of the Week
1. Casual Fling #1. Writer: Jason Starr, Artist: Dalibor Talajić, Colorist: Marco Lesko, Letterer: Steve Wands, Publisher: AWA
For an AWAEW week, it’s only fair that one of the publisher’s books gets the nod as the Big Hoss of the Week. Casual Fling — the story of a female corporate lawyer who steps out of her marriage only to land in arms of an ominous and demanding paramour — has a nervous energy from the first page to the last. Out of all the books in the publisher’s line, this ’un is the one that best captures the essence of a thriller — and an exciting one at that.
NeXt Time on the X Spot
Haha #2, TMNT: The Last Ronin #2, Shadow Doctor #1 and seven more … because it’s pronounced “ten.”
Will Nevin loves bourbon and AP style and gets paid to teach one of those things. He is on Twitter far too often.
