Loyal Content Consumer, we made it through another week.
Together.
10. Batman: Dreamland. Writer: Alan Grant, Artists: Norm Breyfogle and Noelle C. Giddings, Publisher: DC
“Batman: The Abduction” was at least charming in its weirdness: Was Batman really taken by little green men to be poked and prodded? Did he travel the cosmos via astral projection? None of it quite mattered because the whole effort was undercut by at least a tiny smile. “It’s goofy bullshit, and I may or may not be entertaining conspiracy theories” says Grant’s subtext, “but let it ride anyway.” This, a sequel that sees Batman investigate Area 51 after a series of Gothamites die in suspicious suicides, has none of the charming silliness and twice the exhaustion. Yes, Bats and his badass ATV parachute into the Nevada desert, and the final page is some high unintentional comedy, but there’s not much else going for this thing best left in 2000.
9. E-Ratic #1. Writer and artist: Kaare Andrews, Colorist: Brian Reber, Letterer: Sal Cipriano, Publisher: AWA
Was this a) a serious attempt at a teen superhero, b) an unfunny satire of a teen superhero or c) a satire of a teen superhero that I did not understand? (While I don’t think I’m taking action on any of those bets, I’d never foreclose that last option.) This was a chore to read — the art seemed busy, the dialogue was decidedly painful and inauthentic (“Who’s the new sashimi?” asks one girl of our new kid hero. “Very crunchy roll, yum-yum.” What the fuck?) and none of the characters were real or engaging (See dialogue, also a social studies teacher obsessed with communism for … reasons?). Big ol’ pass on this.
8. Future State: Justice League #1. Writer: Joshua Williamson, Penciller: Robson Rocha, Inker: Daniel Henriques, Colorist: Romulo Fajardo Jr., Letterer: Tom Napolitano. “Justice League Dark” backup. Writer: Ram V, Artist: Marcio Takara, Colorist: Marcelo Maiolo, Letterer: Rob Leigh, Publisher: DC
My assumption is that this is Perfectly Fine, but there’s no one on either of these teams of particular interest to me — a non-binary Flash is cool (assuming something cool is done with them, of course, and they can have a life and a meaning beyond gender), but nothing else really struck me as captivating. It was nice to get a Future State book not predicated on a Magistrate baddie that is losing steam by the week, and I appreciate the interesting team dynamics (“Hey, we’re supposed to be keeping our real identities a secret from each other, and yet we’re not doing that at all!”), but the rest was, indeed, pretty meh.
When Good Things Happen to Bad People
As a kid, my favorite Bible story was “The Faith of the Centurion,” a passage found in both Matthew and Luke that describes how one Roman soldier’s belief in Jesus was enough to heal his servant. “Lord … I do not deserve to have you come under my roof,” the centurion says. “But say the word, and my servant will be healed.” Jesus is amazed at the man’s faith and humility and, sure enough, the servant was made well.
That story once spoke to me of how powerful faith could be, that truly miraculous things (perhaps not actual miracles but at least the centurion’s serenity) could happen only if one believed hard enough. Thinking about it now? It feels so undeserved, so wrong, so tragic. The centurion, for all his faith and willingness to humble himself before Jesus, was an occupier, someone who symbolized oppression and violence. And yet he was blessed by an incarnation of the Lord.
The idea that good things could happen to bad people divorced me of my Christian faith more quickly than anything else. After all, who needs a god who supervises a world in which the wicked prosper? I know punishment is maybe too much to ask for, but I think a little balance and decency isn’t that much of a request. But it never happens as the worst among us continue to do well, while so many perfectly good people continue to struggle.
The fundamental unfairness of the world. I certainly don’t need a god who creates that sort of operation.
The problem still vexes me, though, and has given me more than a few obsessions, including the story of an Alabama journalism student who engaged in a pattern of shameless fabrication only to eventually get a master’s degree from New York University. She writes listicles for Conde Nast now. I guess that’s a punishment, in a way. But most of my students can only dream of NYU or even marginal employment at a legacy media institution like Conde Nast.
I thought about all of that this week after Vince McMahon sold the streaming rights to WWE programming to NBCUniversal for $1 billion. The WWE chairman has more money than his great-great-great grandchildren will ever need or be able to spend, and it is a windfall he has not earned. He’s anti-union. He’s still running live shows in the middle of a pandemic. His wife served in the Trump administration, only to quit so she could run one of the bastard’s super PACs — one that donated to the rally that sparked the Capitol insurrection.
McMahon is truly a shitstain of a human being.
Now, after this week, he’s a richer, more prosperous shitstain.
I don’t know why this deal has bothered me, why it makes me think of the core problem of reality, unequal outcomes and the misery of human existence. Maybe it’s because Vince is so painfully undeserving of riches and rewards outside and separate from his own political and moral failings. The man’s television is unwatchable outside of “Raw Talk,” “Talking Smack” and the Roman Reigns program on Smackdown — three things he has little to nothing to do with. His empire is built on professional wrestling, yet “wrestling” is a word largely forbidden to say on his airwaves. He has taken a fun thing and rendered it tedious, offensively stupid and a waste of everyone’s time, and that includes the men and women who are enduring real physical and emotional hardships so that he may donate even more money to loathsome political causes. I hate him. I hate that he is responsible for shows that occasionally bring me joy. I hate that I know there would be more joy from those shows without him, and yet he is not going anywhere.
Professional wrestling will continue to be hindered so long as Vince McMahon and his predilections are its most public face.
It’s not what we deserve in this world in which so many get so much, but it is apparently what we have earned.
Rounding the Turn
7. Transformers/Back to the Future #1. Writer: Cavan Scott, Artist: Juan Samu, Colorist: David Garcia Cruz, Letterer: Neil Uyetake, Publisher: IDW
It’s wild that there are Back to the Future comics that we don’t talk about, right? I wonder why that is. Philosophical and unanswerable questions aside, this was a fun little book that picks up right after the first film and detours into an even more unsettling future than what we originally got in Back to the Future II. This doesn’t seem like a thing that should work (the Transformers film certainly didn’t), but the comic doesn’t approach the seriousness of the most somber moment in the trilogy, so I think that helps — you’re certainly not going to pull off anything with emotional heft if Marty McFly and Bumblebee have to share a page. The cartoonish art style is another visual suggestion that this is all for shits and giggles. And those aren’t criticisms — like the Transformers/Star Trek: The Animated Series crossover, this should be nuts and dumb. Heaps of nuts and dumb in equal measure.
6. Future State: Batman/Superman #1. Writer: Gene Luen Yang, Artist: Ben Oliver, Colorist: Arif Prianto, Letterer: Tom Napolitano, Publisher: DC
The crazy kids of Gotham are doing their part to fight the Magistrate: They’re taking dangerous street drugs … to get animal faces. So, yeah, going back to nuts and dumb for a second here, I prefer my Batman to be serious and straightforward, but since both the pre-”Future State” Batman/Superman has been generally goofier and I can get a more straight-edged take in the marquee Bat books, I feel like there’s not much to complain about here. Well … aside from Clark showing up in Gotham and not having a clue about the Magistrate. Come on. He’s a reporter *and* he’s Superman. He’s not that oblivious.
5. Rick and Morty Presents: Death Stalkers #1. Writer: Stephanie Phillips, Artist: Ryan Lee, Colorist: Leonardo Ito, Letterer: Crank!, Publisher: Oni Press
The Rick and Morty Presents series of one-shots is a neat concept as it explores secondary and even tertiary characters that inhabit the wild and colorful world of the television show. And that’s all well and cool until my creaky brain can’t instantly recall the original source material. For Death Stalkers, I remember through a dark haze Summer, on some mutant/apocalyptic version of Earth, building a Mad Max-esque existence with Hemorrhage, a rough and ready guy with a bucket on his head. This issue takes us back to ol’ Hemorrhage and his travails and gives him a chance to shine; ultimately, it’s pretty cute — but maybe only for the show’s most dedicated fans.
X Spotlight: Things on ComicsXF You Should Read
- I Read Every Marvel Comic Ever. I Made A Huge Mistake by Zach Rabiroff. Another example of some of the team’s writing that makes me angry. A wonderful essay that explores not only decades of Marvel’s history, but also what you do when a thing you love begins to weigh upon you.
- Sample The Bad Idea Line Up With These Massive Previews In Their April 2021 Solicitations by Big Boss Man Zachary Jenkins. I believe that Bad Idea is a Ponzi scheme. Or a pyramid scheme. One of those two things.
- Your Guide to the X-Men Election by Everyone on the Goddamned Staff But Me. I do not understand what the children are obsessed about, but bless them and their obsession.
- Why ComicsXF Is Not Covering Comics Brett Booth Draws by Jenkins. As good a statement as there ever was about what this site stands for.
- One Year Later, Comic Conventions Plot Their Return by Boss Man Dan Grote. “Remember cons?” the man asks. No. I do not. I don’t even remember movies at this point.
The Finish Looms
4. Post Americana #2. Writer and artist: Steve Skroce, Colorist: Dave Stewart, Letterer: Fonografiks, Publisher: Image
Question: If Steve Skroce and Dave Stewart are on a book, do you even need a plot? With this much detail and viscera and other assorted visual splendor, I’m not sure that I do. (As with all things, your mileage may vary.) There is some story here, I think: a tale of an evil American government ruling from the safety of a bunker as it attempts to retake a lawless, cannibal land with “brave” drone pilots and our actual heroes who are very much in the shit. But those details don’t trouble me. Not with this art team.
3. BANG #1. Writer: Matt Kindt, Artist: Wilfredo Torres, Colorist: Nayoung Kim, Letterer: Nate Piekos, Publisher: Dark Horse
Outside of a few inside jokes and maybe Skyfall, the James Bond franchise has not really tried to square up its continuity and its steady parade of actors over the decades. But what if it did so in an incredibly meta way? BANG is a deliciously weird thought experiment, the sort of thing that was made on a dare and greenlit only via compromising information on editorial staff. But I’m not mad — this is some fun weirdness.
1b. The Replacer. Writer: Zac Thompson, Artist: Arjuna Susini, Colorist: Dee Cunniffe, Letterer: Marshall Dillon, Publisher: AfterShock
I avoided The Replacer when it was published not because I thought it may lack in quality or imagination or feeling or any of the things that make a comic good; no, I skipped it on account of my own cowardice. Losing my own father when he was only 47 is a hard thing to live with (“It will suck less one day,” I tell anyone who has lost a parent), and I knew reading The Replacer would hurt. And, sure enough, it did. The honesty with which Zac Thompson approached that story should be commended and celebrated. And departed Good Dads everywhere — the ones who made mistakes but did their best and left the world at least a little better than they found it — should be cherished and remembered.
Out of ConteXt: Choice ComicsXF Discord Quotes
- “X-men have great clones”
- “well maybe we should all aspire to be a little bit more like hobbits”
- “it took me 42 episodes of battle of the atom to figure out whose voice was whose.”
- “We were promised Batdick”
- “Boom Boom is electable if you vote for her”
- “He is almost one pec bigger than Northstar”
- “burger king foot lettuce”
- “WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND PUTS CRYSTAL SKULL ABOVE JURASSIC PARK?!”
- “This is all Zack’s fault. I’m sure it’s the only time anyone’s ever said that.”
- “All is fair in love and #XMenVote”
Wanna get in on the madness that is the ComicsXF Discord? Back our Patreon.
Finally, the Big Hoss of the Week
1. Kill A Man. Writers: Steve Orlando and Phillip Kennedy Johnson, Artist and colorist: Al Morgan, Letterer: Jim Campbell, Publisher: AfterShock
Some dads are Good Dads, some dads are Fine Dads and some are Bad Dads — those are the ones who leave scars and pass on trauma from one generation to another. In Kill A Man, James Bellyi’s father died in an MMA ring a homophobic bigot, beaten to death by a gay man he used his last words to taunt and slur. A generation later, James is fighting in the same rings and trying to stay closeted until a rival outs him and threatens his career — forcing to turn to the very man who killed his father. I’m not doing it justice, I know, but trust me: This is a powerful story not of revenge but of achievement. Of healing and queer acceptance rather than trauma. And being the best goddamn version of you that you can be.
NeXt Time on the X Spot
Future State: Harley Quinn #2, Man-Bat #1, Chained to the Grave #1 and seven more … because it’s pronounced “ten.”
Will Nevin loves bourbon and AP style and gets paid to teach one of those things. He is on Twitter far too often.
